Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Hello, 2009. Lookin' good!

And that's it - the end of another year. And what a year 2008 has been.

Peanut has really grown - she is 17 months old already, and an extremely powerful personality. She has begun to get extremely possessive about me - protests quite a bit when I talk to or am touched by anyone else. I don't think Vijay is very happy about this, because he can't even hug me after getting back from work, without triggering an eruption of Mt. Peanut.

Work has been good, despite many ups and downs. I still feel I have yet to discover my life's calling, but in the meantime, it's nice to work in a place which you can actually look forward to going to on most mornings. Most people there are very nice - but of course, there are the occasional odd characters that pop up now and then, just to try my patience and keep things interesting.

My days are so full between work, home and Peanut. I have decided that I can't be doing everything, and so of all the three things, 'home' is pretty much the one that is going to be getting less attention. So pardon me if I don't host too many fancy get-togethers - however, if you promise to be non-judgmental, you can come over for a glass of wine. I will even let you drop it on my sofa. Peanut does it everyday, anyway. Her own food - not wine. I don't give her wine. That's at least another year away. Ha ha.

I haven't been blogging as much as I would have liked, nor have I had the time to follow my favourite bloggers. Let's see, maybe I can figure out how to squeeze some of that in, going ahead.

I'm still breastfeeding Peanut and mostly enjoying it. I'm glad I didn't listen to some of you who told me to stop ( Just stop, it seems) . Of course, don't remind of this the next time Peanut decides to use me as a teething toy. Also, don't remind me of this when it really is time to quit and Peanut is an even more determined and strong-willed toddler.

So now, here they are - my resolutions for 2009:

- Stop demanding so much from myself. It's okay if the house is messy sometimes.
- Give up on trying to change Vijay. He's pretty okay the way he is. I don't have to eat the Alu Gobi everyday, but he should if he wants to.
- Continue with all the decent habits I have discovered in the last few months like good reading, exercise, meditation, yoga, pranayam - increase the time spent on these activities.
- Get up an hour earlier everyday. (I refuse to divulge what time I currently get up)
- Worry less about Peanut - and just enjoy her more.
- Play my guitar at least once in three days.And learn some new stuff, for God's sake.
- Be less sarcastic. To avoid snapping at people.
- Stop procastinating the tasks that I don't like.Get my papers in order - bank, tax, bills; figure out stuff about Peanut's playschool and so on.
- Socialize more, quit making snap judgments and actually remember people's names. Boy, have I got a good one to tell you about this - will do so in my next post.
- Write that darned book. Or at least the first chapter.
- Regularly remind myself to live in the moment and enjoy it.

Happy New Year, Everyone. Have a fantastic 2009.

Wednesday, December 24, 2008

I can't get over it...

It still sometimes shocks me that I've now graduated to 'What to Expect the Toddler Years'.

I mean, come on. Just yesterday, I was staring at a stick and going 'Whaaaat?' in an office loo. I happened to be in the same office as Vijay that day ( we previously worked in the same organization), and came out and informed him accusingly of what he had done. Of course, he asked me to take a chair, a slow smile forming on his face.

And now to this? From 'What do you least expect at this current moment' to 'What to expect when you're expecting' to 'What to expect the first year' and now 'What to expect the Toddler Years'. Really? What next? What to expect?

Wow.

Merry Christmas, everyone.

Sunday, December 7, 2008

Aadha Bola Karo, Honey

I have often been asked by various kinds of people if it would be possible for me to be a tad less sarcastic, in my daily dealings.


Now, here's the thing. The phrase 'Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit', cuts me to the quick. I refute this statement passionately - it appears to me to have been the invention of some non-sarcastic person, probably after being at the receiving end of some highly witty sarcastic statement. Think about it. It is highly possible that it came into being in this way:

The year is 1568. Two men, Sarcastic Thomas and Regular Theodore meet.


Sarcastic Thomas: Hello, Theodore. Nice hat.

Theodore: Thanks. Hey, I'm not wearing a hat today.

Thomas: I know. I meant your hair looks strange. I was being sarcastic.

Theodore: Oh, yeah? Yeah?

Thomas: Yeah. See ya!


Theodore goes home, in a foul mood. He's mulling over what he could have said in response to Sarcastic Thomas. He considers - should he have followed up the 'Oh yeah?' with a 'Your mother wears high heels' - or equivalent? Theodore is despondent because he realizes he can never beat Sarcastic Thomas this way - he just doesn't have that kind of sarcasm in him. After many days of ruminating on the subject, Theodore is finally hit by inspiration and leaps out of his bathtub and runs down the street naked, yelling 'Eureka! Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit'. He can't wait to meet Thomas again.


At this juncture, I must give my imagination a break and leave it to you to conjecture what might have transpired next between Thomas and Theodore. I must also say that I haven't had time to do my usual detailed research ( read: two minute Google search) before writing this post, and therefore there is some niggling fear in my mind that some cool dude like Shakespeare might have actually come up with this line. But my point is simply this - we don't have to agree with what random phrases are thrown at us by random people, right?


After all, without sarcasm, what would become of Chandler Bing ? Groucho Marx? Gerald Durrell? Some of my favourite bloggers and friends ( Mahogony, Ganju, Shome, Manav, Tambi - you guys listening?). I even like Snape because of his sarcasm ( and what a piece of casting that Allan Rickman was - but I digress!).


Anyway, my friend Ganju once said I was too sarcastic, back when we were in B-school together. My immediate response was 'Yeah, right'. I said it without even thinking but when he recovered from his paroxyms of laughter, he pointed it out as further evidence to support his claim.

Today, my mother was visiting and I was talking to her.

Y: On Thursday, the day when I was ill...
Ma: 'You never told me you were ill'.
Y: 'Of course I did, on the phone yesterday. It would be nice if you listened, Ma'.

At this point, Vijay looked over and said sweetly 'Honey. Tum aadha bola karo'
Y: (irritated) 'What do you mean?'
Vijay (smiling like a well-fed cat, knowing I can't smack him with my mom around) : 'It's just that - if you speak only half your sentences, your whole personality will change. You could have just said 'I told you on the phone', but you added 'if only you listened, Ma'...Sirf first part bolte to kitna achha lagta... Tum hamesha itne sweet lagte. Bas...Aadha bola karo'.

I decoded this quickly to mean that apparently I follow up quite a lot of my sentences with unnecessary tart statements which are an unappealing combination of sarcasm and nag-asm. I glowered, muttering 'Aadha bolo, what nonsense...'.

However, within the next ten minutes, the following conversations took place:

Conversation 1:

Vijay (calling out to me from another room) : What are you doing, Y?
Y: (dumping an armload of laundry into the washing machine) Putting the clothes in for a wash. You may believe otherwise, but the clothes don't wash themselves around here.
Vijay ( as my mother and sister giggle): See? Aadha bola karo.
Y: (Mutters to self in embarassment)

Conversation 2:

Y: Vijay, please get Peanut's jacket from the cupboard.
Vijay: (after rummaging through the wrong cupboard) - Where? Where is it?
Y: It is in the OTHER cupboard, on the right. You'd know, if only you bothered to be a bit more involved in... ( my voice trails off in horror as my mother and sister laughed at me)

So that's it. I would be a better person if I only said half of what I said.

I asked my sister that evening, in an unrelated conversation, why she was being so quiet.
She said 'I'm always quiet'. I said 'Oh yeah. That's right' and then a thought struck me very hard. I asked 'Is it because I always said twice as much as I was supposed to when we were kids? And didn't let you talk?'.
She seemed to like that theory because she said simply and in a highly convinced manner 'Yes'.

In short, the world is telling me to generally talk less and specifically cut back on the sarcasm. It's going to be tough - a whole new way of life. But since I'm fundamentally a lovely person at heart, I think I should be able to manage.

Yeah, right.

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

Midnight Feast

When I was a kid growing up on Enid Blyton's Malory Towers and St. Clare's series, there was nothing as enticing as the thought of the Midnight Feast. These were the forbidden feasts where the girls stealthily managed to enjoy spreads of wonderful-sounding food like kipper and scones. I really didn't have a clue what kipper and scones were but they sure sounded good. Discovering what kipper and scones are through the process of growing up has only lessened the charm of the whole thing.

However, I digress.

The point I was making was that the Midnight Feast had a certain meaning then.

And now - the Midnight Feast has a certain meaning.

For Peanut.

This morning, at 4 a.m. to be precise, my baby woke up and sat up in bed next to me. I was only half-awake but noticed in the nick of time that she was trying to escape from the bed through the simple yet ingenious means of hurtling out headfirst, with the carefree abandon that only a baby who has never been allowed to fall out of a bed, can possess. I lunged out at her and caught her by the legs and she giggled loudly, clearly thinking this was a great game to kick-start the day with.

Poor Vijay woke up with a start 'Huh? Kya? Kya?'. I told him to go back to sleep and tried to convince Peanut to do the same. She shouted loudly 'Du-du. Mama, Du-du', and I settled her down again next to me and fed her. Just when I was drifting off and hoping that she was too, she detached herself and sat up again.

I groaned and asked her what she wanted now. Godi? She nodded vigorously, with her whole body, the enthusiasm clearly visible even in the darkness. I got out of bed with her in my arms and started to rock her to sleep, but she wasn't having any of it. She struggled out of my arms, in her curiously effective wriggly-worm fashion and as soon as she landed on the floor, was out the door. I followed her groggily as she headed straight into the kitchen and went for the fridge.

'Du-du, du-du' she stated loudly. Vijay, who had followed us into the kitchen, immediately decided to jump into action and warm the milk in the fridge. I told him that she didn't really want it because she had just been fed, but he was adamant and started to rattle pans around indiscriminately.

I suspected that she might need to eat something else because she hadn't had much at dinnertime. I asked her if she wanted to eat something, and she grabbed the nearest available slice of cheese out of the fridge. I then remembered that I had bought some fruit buns for her to try, and figured that this was as good a time as any, and so took that out to warm for her. Vijay, unable to resist a shot, asked her if she wanted to eat 'Makkhan-Toast' and she looked up at him and nodded her assent vigorously again. He then proceeded to rattle a few more things around, digging out the Toaster, plugging it in and so on.

She had two bites of the cheese, one bite of the fruit bun which was then spat out unceremoniously into my hand, and then cheerfully refused both the milk and the makkhan-toast offered by Vijay, much to his annoyance.

And so it went. Vijay and I stood around bleary eyed while she giggled and darted here, there and everywhere. We looked at the clock and then at each other. It was 5 a.m. and Peanut showed no signs of falling asleep.

Eventually, she did fall asleep but woke up every half hour to demand her 'Du-du' loudly, falling back asleep within a couple of minutes, each time. Vijay and I woke up each time but it took us a lot longer to get back to sleep. As a consequence of which, we didn't actually sleep at all, but still dragged ourselves out of bed only at 8 a.m. and got late going to work.

I felt like I was going to collapse in the first half of the day, but a couple of cups of coffee and some paracetamol produced by my very kind-hearted young team members resulted in my bravely lasting through the rest of the day and actually managing to do a few productive things.

And now, at 10.30 p.m., again Peanut has just fallen asleep and I am about to go to bed. Sending up a silent prayer that she will not assume that 4 a.m. is now her official wake-up-and-play time.

In other words - Midnight feasts and all other night-time adventures appear highly overrated when you get to be an adult. Oh, to be ten again. Chalo, I can live that age vicariously through Peanut.

Should be fun.

Yawn.

G'night, all.

Saturday, November 15, 2008

Phamily News! I'm a Bua!

Written by my sister - it's great to be able to outsource!
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A brand new little lady has made her entrance into the world today, far away in the UK. I am now a bua as well as maasi, my mom is a daadi as well as a naani and Peanut is a big sister as well as a little baby... well, you get the drift.My brother's sms announcing the birth of his daughter conveyed no emotion of the proud first time father. It read "Baby girl born at 11:40 am gmt via caeserian section! 3.3 kilos. Mum and baby fine."The exclamation mark is the only thing in the message that betrays any excitement - and that excitement seems directed more at the fact that it was a C-section. He's a doctor. Go figure. :)The baby is reported (by her rather biased maasi - my sister in law's sister) to be very pretty and fairer than the fairest of babies born in England. We hope to have some pictures soon. Questions like 'how much hair does she have on her head?', 'what shape is her nose?' etc. remain unanswered as yet. And she is yet to be named.We're now officially overrun with baby girls. The next generation is yet to see a boy. This baby is the fourth girl after my cousin A's two little daughters and of course, my sister Y's princess Peanut. Woo hoo to female domination!!! I hope to see the baby real soon, and especially to see Peanut with her little cousin.Happy birthday, little lady!!!
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After the sister wrote this piece, the brother did deign to send pictures and the child is a far better looking version of her parents - chubby, chinky little doll! I think she looks a lot like I remember Peanut when she was born - although Peanut's earlier pictures often make me recoil and say 'She never looked like that!' I guess Peanut was just not very photogenic in those days. Just like me! I'm much better looking in real life than in any photo.

Anyway, coming back to the NEW little beauty in our family, I almost uploaded her picture before remembering that it is my blog and I haven't asked the brother for permission. Then I figured, forget it, we'll just keep in in the family - so the rest of you just have to live without it, or else consider yourself spared, depending upon your own personal philosophy about newborn baby pics. I do understand, by the way, despite being a proud parent and bua, considering Peanut's newborn pics (shudder).

I was chatting with my sister and she asked me in all seriousness 'Now that we're buas, don't you feel we ought to be fat and jolly?'. I think we may be a bit skewed in this regard by our own Bua, but I do tend to agree.

I refuse to be fat - incidentally I'm all skinny and awesomely fit at the current moment, ha ha, show-offing done - but I can be jolly!

So, Ho, Ho, Ho everyone! May you have Merry New Babies!

Yayyyyyy! A new little person to love!

P.S - Oh and congrats to the brother and the bhabhi. Well done on producing someone far better than you, in every conceivable way. Vijay and I know what that's like! Let's resolve to try and not ruin the perfection of our beautiful daughters. Kala Teeka time!

Sunday, November 9, 2008

Peanut @ 15 months

Peanut actually gets funner (!) every month. I guess it's because this baby thing is new to me, I find it endlessly fascinating. Well, let's not say endlessly because I was pretty darn ready to go back to work after 10 months at home with her! But still - the point is that each new development is just so wondrous to me that I have a sneaking suspicion this fascination is perhaps swayed to the extreme by the fact that this particular child is mine, and that not everyone shares the same level of enthusiasm about a baby's monthly progress. However - this is my own space to be a completely starry-eyed and barmy parent, and therefore, onwards with a 15 month update.

- She is practically running around now, and let's be frank here - she's not very good at it. Yet, you have to give her points for trying. She has finally got slightly better with walking in shoes, too, and therefore I can now take her out to the park for a walk.

- Taking her to the park for a 'walk' is a bit theoretical though, because she's the sort who would rather watch the other kids from a safe distance - which means her clinging on to me for dear life. In general, she is at an embarrassingly anti-social age and I spend quite a bit of time answering well-meaning park people in a baby voice, on her behalf. You know, like

Well meaning Park Aunty - 'Oooh, Baby...how are YOU today?'
Peanut - (Looking the other way, the complete cold shoulder)
Me ( Stepping in to save the day, in a baby voice) Ooooh! I'm fine, Aunty. How are you?

It really is kind of stupid. Oh, well.

- She still continues with her fascination for older children, particularly girls, whom she calls 'Didi' quite indiscriminately, whether they are a few months or a few years older than her. In fact, come to think of it, she's not really giving the boys any attention at all, just seems to like the didis - who in turn, are very interested, gentle and sweet with her, in general. Unfortunately, though, our nice next-door neighbours have moved to Mumbai, taking their 20 month-old daughter, Sai with them ( which is understandable because it wouldn't really have made sense to leave her behind), and therefore, there is a gap in our lives which we are somehow trying to fill. I really hope we don't get nasty neighbours.

- Peanut also says quite a few things now, apart from the 'Mama', which is also used to refer to my mother and my sister. There's also 'Da-da' for Vijay, 'Pa-pa' for my grandfather, 'Bua' for my bua, 'Na-na' for my Foofaji ( wow, I have never used that word in real life and it looks funny, is it phoofaji? phoophaji? never mind). In case you've noticed, she is going to possibly grow up a little confused about these relationships with this kind of nomenclature logic, but never mind.

Oh, and Vinod, our driver, is called 'Meow' because that's something he says often to amuse her.

- Speaking of amusement, Peanut invents her own little ways to keep herself entertained. This includes stuff like climbing up and down steps a zillion times, with the K in close attendance. She also derives great pleasure from the strangest things, and it is an endless journey of discovery for us, to find those little things that are going to amuse her. For example, today, it was Vijay's knocking over the shade of a lamp that sent her into hysterics. She laughed so hard each time that we looked at each other, helplessly amused, thinking 'What's the big deal about this? It's just a lamp shade being knocked over', but it worked for her so we did it a thousand times. Of course, when we tried to turn the camera on her and then do it, she gave us a bored, quizzical look that said 'What's the big deal about this? Can't you guys come up with something better?'

- She still isn't a great eater, but certainly seems to have enough energy and to be making enough poopy to suggest that she is doing just fine, so I'm thinking I will really just be quitting worrying about it. I'm a great believer in not trying to force her to eat at any point of time but a lot of ominous prophecies from the family sometimes drive me to try a little harder than I should to get a spoonful into her - although it's quite a half-hearted effort and therefore predictably fails.

I know this has nothing to do with this post, but I have found myself doing a similar half-hearted effort thing when it comes to killing mosquitos. I do want to get rid of the damn pesky mosky but I can't quite bring myself to actually kill it most of the time. So when I do slap my hands together to kill it, I am just pretending to be aiming for it because I really actually just want to send it a message and tell it to go away and not bother me anymore - and therefore, I end up just missing it deliberately and then telling Vijay 'Damn! I missed - can you please kill it, honey?'

I had a lot more to write but Peanut is calling for me and it's time to go. I feel rather sorry to have to end this on a random mosquito note, but such is life.

Until next time.

Sunday, November 2, 2008

Old....so old....

So guess what? I think I'm burning out - and I'm not even thirty yet.

Just came back after a week's holiday in Jaipur with the in-laws. Peanut stuck to me like glue throughout the trip, refusing to go to even the K or her Daddy for more than a few minutes at a time. The one time I did manage to get out of the house for some shopping, she was apparently fine, though. What is it about my presence that makes her become so clingy and whiny? Okay, the clingy part I get because it's kind of difficult to cling to someone who isn't there, but why whiney? What is it with the whining, I ask? Where does she get it from? Oh, right. Shut up and move on, Y.

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The holiday is over, and it's back to work tomorrow - I'm telling you though, I need another holiday to recover from this one. What's that you say? I'm whining again? DAMMIT! Sorry, sorry. Let's try another thread.

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After experimenting over the past year with train travel, air travel, car travel and even boat travel (yes, once, to Murud-Janjira), I have decided that that train travel suits us best, given how Peanut behaves on all other modes of transport. Well, to be honest, actually boat travel was the smoothest but I don't see that being practical for Delhi-Jaipur travel.

Anyway, on the way to Jaipur, Peanut was an angel - to be more specific, she slept for a while. But on the way back, she was on some sort of a sugar high or something, and was keen on exploring the whole train - at one point, one of the stewards (is that what they're called on trains?) muttered to Vijay while practically leaping over Peanut 'Sir, bacche ko godi mein bithaiye na', to which Vijay muttered to his retreating back 'Bhaiiya, tumhe hi bitha doon godi mein?'. It certainly would have been easier.

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So we got back from Jaipur day before yesterday, and today just spent the day running a few errands here and there. Peanut, unfortunately, developed a high fever today - it just seems to come and go. Have been giving her doses of Crocin which brings it down for a while but then it clambers up again. Not sure what's wrong, but if she keeps it up, may need to take a little more time off to nurse her back to perfect health again.

Speaking of nursing, I am aware that I publicly declared that it is time to wean her, but now I'm publicly declaring that I don't think I will be doing it anytime soon. And not just because of the kind anonymous commentor who encouraged me to keep weaning ( Who are you, kind commentor? Are you my Raju Masi? Yes, people, I have a masi named Raju but don't worry, it's only her pet name). Anyway, the point I was trying to make before I meandered off course, was that I spoke to my boss, who has nursed her kids till they were at least two, and I think there are just too many benefits of this extended breastfeeding for both me and Peanut, and there's no real reason to rush it - plus, my visit to the paeditrician last week confirmed that she is on track with her weight gain although a little below average, and so it's okay to continue.

Of course, when she bites me at the end of a feed, I resolve 'never, never again' - the pain is just so acute at that point. Four sharp teeth digging into a rather tender part of your body. Shudder. In fact, she did it once on the train too, and my screams were audible at least twenty rows away. Vijay, grabbing every chance that he can, decided to comfort her and bravely offered her his finger, saying 'Come on, Peanut, you can chew on this'. The resultant scream was audible at least twenty five rows away.

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That reminds me, Vijay really does try hard to get some brownie points with Peanut, but as he says 'Aaj kal bilkul mujhe lift nahin deti'. I tell him to read her books to her, but she usually just snatches them out of his hands and brings them to me with a firm 'Mama' - clearly, I do it better. But Vijay makes the most of every opportunity - there is one book called 'Spot loves his Mum', which is all about the things that little puppy Spot does with his Mom. Vijay reads this one out loud without any major distortions in the story, save for the fact that he replaces 'Mum' with 'Daddy' every single time. There is also some rather undue emphasis on the Daddy part so it's -

'Spot loves his DADDY...
When spot hurts his knee, his DADDY makes him feel better...
Spot snuggles up to DADDY as he reads his favourite bedtime story...'

...and so on.

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This is a rather mish-mash post but given the paucity of time, what do you expect? I mean, what is it that you people want from me? I give, and I give, until there is nothing more left to give but still you clamour for more....okay, sorry again. I think I'm just in that kind of mood right now. I think the bit I mentioned about burning out is getting to me. I mean, a gal's got to have some time to herself, right? Why is it so impossible? Between work and Peanut, I'm just ready to completely pass out at the end of the day. I am fairly good with my exercise, and even dabble in a little yoga and meditation which gives me a good start to the day, but by the end of it, it just seems like another day has rushed by. Towards what end? Why? What is it that I am meant to be doing beyond just 'managing very well'. Have you ever got this feeling? Does it happen often? Does it go away? Does it chase you throughout your life? Well? Well?

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On the other hand, of course, there are these moments that I wouldn't give up for the world. I mean, we got Peanut this new red ball, and yesterday, Vijay and I were tossing it back and forth while she giggled and ran between the two of us trying to catch it. It struck me then that just a couple of years ago, Vijay and I couldn't have been playing this game of 'Beech ka bandar' because there would have been no bandar in the beech. And while it may seem like a slightly strange reason to have a baby, at that moment, it just seemed to fit very well, and frankly, Beech ka bandar is a lot of fun and it does make sense to have a third person in order for you to be able to play it.

It's just so strange, though if you can understand where I'm coming from on this one - We couldn't play this game two years ago - and now we can. There's a whole new person here, who wasn't there before. We created this little person, who is so much better than us in every way. This, my friends, is called evolution. And so, carrying on in the same vein, maybe someday we'll even be able to play doubles tennis - although I'm fairly sure that Peanut no. 2 is far away - until Peanut is old enough to help take good care of him/her.

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Discussing stuff like this makes me realize I'm in a slightly strange situation, which is that some people at work apparently read my blog. This wasn't the case in my earlier organization because no one but a few close family and friends read this blog at that time. Why are you work people reading me? Is it because you are genuinely interested in what I write or is it some sort of a sinister HR-driven plot to keep tabs on me? Delurk now and let me know the reason. I also know a couple of you have your own blogs but I haven't asked to read them only because I didn't want to make you uncomfortable. If you like, you can leave a comment and I'll come by and visit.

This whole blogging thing is redefining social relationships, isn't it? So many people have blogs now. Frankly, a lot of them are crap but there are also a lot of them that are such interesting reads. In fact, what I miss is not just the time required to post more frequently but also the time required to read my favourite blogs and discover new ones. I feel I'm losing touch with some of my favourites...Parul, Kiran, Sur, Sue, Tharini, Dotmom, Cee Kay, Mona...sigh. Anyway, if you guys are reading this, just to let you know I'm thinking of you!

I was going to write a lot more, but I'm going to go now - will hopefully be posting a little more frequently, even if they are just little short posts.

So that's all I have to say for now. And you?

Monday, October 6, 2008

Peanut, quit it!

It was the most blissful moment. I was lying on my side, feeding Peanut. She had just been bathed, and was smelling of baby soap and powder. I gazed at her lovingly and stroked her soft cheek, thinking this is the best part of motherhood. She raised her own little hand up towards my face, still guzzling away.

And then she brought her hand down on my face to give me a resounding slap.

It was what we marketeers like to refer to as a 'moment of truth'. I was rather shocked, but suddenly saw things with clarity - while she continued to feed, rather unfazed.

It is time to start weaning her.

No, not because of the danger of being slapped again - it's just that at that moment I realized that it's not particularly great for her to be fed by me so much - she's well over that age now. And in fact, she needs to put on weight and eat more of her solid food.

I figured I'd try to at least stop coming home at lunchtime to feed her - that would cut out at least one day time feed. In any case, while it was a pleasure to come home at lunch, it was too much of a mad rush to try and get back, feed her, have my own lunch and head back - besides, she seems to be well settled during the day at my Bua's house. So for the last two days, I've not come home during the afternoons, and she seems to be okay with it, although she apparently gets a bit restless and then pro-actively asks for 'Du-du' - the K obligingly gives her a glass or two. I try to make up for the lunchtime absence by coming back home slightly earlier in the evening. I think it may actually work out better - and I may get more time with her, overall.

The issue is with the holidays - yesterday, Sunday, she refused to eat anything and just kept on trying to lift up my shirt, which is a little embarassing, especially when she does it with company around. In general, she seems to have entered a very clingy phase, and is quite difficult when I'm around - she refuses to go to anyone else for even a minute, and is constantly going 'Mamamamamama....' - this is usually very cute, but not so much when you need to go to the bathroom.

The biggest challenge will be figuring out how to wean her from the night feed - I have been ignoring all the good advice thrown at me from various sources, and have been letting her fall asleep at the breast for the last couple of months. It was just so easy to give in to the temptation of an easy means to get her to drift off, rather than rocking her back and forth for hours, as we had to do previously. She is now extremely difficult (read: impossible) to get to sleep at nights without me and my assets. Oh, we are so going to suffer.

Do you guys have any advice on how to wean a child, one who is almost fifteen months old and extremely finicky about her favourite food? Anyone with anything to share? Anyone? Anyone except Ganju?

Although even Ganju could do better than my mother, because when I asked her yesterday for her advice on weaning, she sagely replied:

'Stop feeding her'

Oh yeah. Thanks, Mom. Could never have figured that one out by myself. It's like asking an enigmatic oracle for some advice and receiving a wise, esoteric reply which is near-impossible to figure out and interpret - only it's the exact opposite. Does that make any sense to you? I thought not. Forget it.

Either way, my family rocks.

P.S - Peanut now also tends to bite to signal to me that she has finished her feed. She appears extremely attached to this mode of communication, despite my protests. Therefore, there are four more reasons to stop feeding her sooner rather than later - two upper teeth and two lower ones. These teeth also regularly dig in nowadays right into the flesh of my thighs -ah, the unmitigated joy of motherhood.

Saturday, September 20, 2008

Can't think of a Subject. Please adjust.

Okay, first of all, the news is that Peanut has started walking. It's quite a sight because she holds her hands high up in the air and totters forward uncertainly, abandoning all pretence at grace towards the end of her sojourn, as she lurches forward and grabs at her object of desire, which is typically the sofa, or my leg. It's started. The baby has turned into the toddler, who holds on to my leg, rendering me helpless, as she turns up her face, either with unmasked adoration if I'm playing with her, or crumpled up in a plea not to leave her and go to office.

Sigh.
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The good thing is being able to leave her at my Bua's place every morning - one of the great things about staying in the same complex. There are days when she cries when I drop her off in the morning, but of late, there have been others when she looks pretty happy to be deposited in the Bua's arms. There's just no substitute for having family around. Sometimes I wonder, though - what about later, what if we decide to go somewhere else where there is no family? But then I remember that my mother is going to probably have retired then, so we can just take her wherever. Mum, if you're reading this, start wrapping up your own life. You have to admit this is quite a fair bit of notice. I'm nothing if not fair. And selfless. And all-round wonderful. And humble.

And to my brother, the expectant father, I say 'Shusssshhhh. Remember 'Bags I?'' I've bagged her!

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I have not renewed my gym membership after the first month. I think I will, but the weather has been so fine of late that I just prefer going to the park within our complex, every morning. It's really just a big garden but it's very nice and green and peaceful.

I've also discovered that I really like the feeling of openness in the mornings, rather than the stuffines of the gym. The other funny thing is that I actually prefer the company in the park - which is a bunch of old ladies and old men - to the stern and determined looking women in the gym, who are closer to my own age.

The women in the gym are strange - a couple of them are so skinny, but appear to be compulsively trying to lose weight. A few are heavy and fat and older, and I can understand why they should be there, but can't get why they treat the gym instructor Ajay as their own personal water boy ( Ajay, get me my glass from there. Ajay, pass me a tissue. Ajay, do this, do that, blah blah blah. Sheesh).

There is just one remarkably fit and good looking young woman there, but she is too hardcore for me to connect with. We were both jogging alongside on the treadmill the other day, when the lights suddenly went off and the treadmills stopped. I was just thankful it didn't throw me off balance and I wandered around in semi-darkness and lounged around, waiting for the lights to come back on. But the Fit Girl didn't miss even a beat, and went running straight out of the gym to the stairs leading up, and I soon realized she was running up and down the steps because she didn't want to break the flow of her workout.

I know, I know - she was doing the sensible thing and I was the lazy treadmill potato - but it's just that you have to see the scarily determined expression on this girl's face every morning to know you really don't want to start the day in her company.

So I think I'll continue going to the park, where the few people seem to be in a fairy peaceful and good mood. And even smile, once in a while. And where I have a good chance of running into my 92 year old grandpa out on his walk, who always greets me enthuastically and happily, almost as if he hasn't seen me in days. Just one of the key bonuses.

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Peanut has developed a fascination for the 20 month old daughter of our next door neighbour. That little girl returns her affection, but her attention is more shortlived - I suppose because she has many more friends and is generally older and more worldly wise. The other day, I was getting back home with her after picking her up from my Bua's - and as I struggled with Peanut and the lock on our door, some people arrived to visit at the neighbour's, along with their own kids. As their door opened and Peanut caught sight of her little friend Sai, she tried to wriggle out of my arms and go to her. I was reluctant to let her go over because they had company over, but Sai's mom asked me to let her come in for a few minutes. Peanut walked off into their house, holding onto the hand of Sai's mom - who signalled me over after a few minutes. I walked in to fetch Peanut.

She was just standing there in the middle of the drawing room with her back to me, looking at Sai, who was darting here and there with her visiting friends. The adults were milling about, all unfamiliar faces which I barely registered. All I could see was my tiny daughter, standing uncertainly in a room full of near-strangers, looking in awe at someone who seemed to barely notice she was there. My heart went out to her in a way I haven't felt before.

I quickly walked up to her and took her by the hand and led her back home and cuddled her, bathed her, read her a book, fed her and put her to sleep.

I have no idea why this little incident was a big deal to me, but it was. Of course, it is very likely that I'm just projecting my own discomfort around strangers and social situations onto her. In fact, she was probably fine and oblivious to any such feelings. Rule number one of modern parenting - do not project your own fears, desires, hopes or anything onto your children. But how?

Damn, this parenting thing is tough.

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Will end on a more uplifting note. My faux pas in my own mother tongue.

I entered the lift to my office the other day, and told the liftman ( and around 8 other witnesses) to take it to the 11th floor. Except that I, for some reason, chose to phrase it as 'Bhaiiya, Gyaarah Bajao'.

I have been made quite a bit of fun of, for this one. Almost beats my telling my driver to fetch my pants from the tailor with a 'Mera Pant uthana'

Vijay is no help though.

Y: Honey, what is Behuda?
V: Behuda is bekaar...inappropriate...improper...strange...
Y: Hmmm....okay, so it is Be-huda...without Huda...what is huda?
V: Good point. Behuda is 'without the haryana urban development authorities'
Y: Very funny. I'm just trying to understand this properly. Explain it in a sentence.
V: Yeh behuda kism ka sawaal hai.

Fine. Be like that.

And what's new with you?

Sunday, September 7, 2008

Dekho Baarish Ho Rahi Hai...

.....It's raining, it's raining, it's raaaaiining!

Yes, indeed, it is raining extremely cats and dogs types. Sunday night, of course, and suddenly the weekend is already over - which tends to happen when you work alternate Saturdays and consequently get only Sunday off.

So remarkably inadequate.

Sigh.

So, moving on from there, life is trundling on. Have set up pretty decently in the new house, it's been over a month here now. Our new office is a great place, very colorful and full of light. It's almost worthwhile going there on Saturdays, too. Ha ha!

Damn it, I thought I had so much to write about but suddenly I've forgotten everything, so let me just go with what's been happening at our gym.

* Almost all the machines have stopped working ( and not because of anything I did). The only thing functional currently is the Upen Patel lookalike (sort of) instructor and the other dumb-bells.

* I still valiantly go there almost every day, and Vijay joins me once in four days. The gym instructor keeps asking 'Where's Vijay? Where's Vijay?', sounding exactly like all the members of my family who rarely get to see him. I don't know why he develops such a fan base. Anyway, the gym instructor, let's call him Ajay ( because that's his name) recently rationalized to himself 'Haan, unka to office hoga na...dikkat ho jaati hai phir...'. When I tartly retorted that I work too and leave for office exactly when he does, he expressed as much shock as he had when I informed him that I work out regularly. I really don't like him very much.

* The few times that Vijay comes along, I keep seeing him just admiring himself in the mirror. When he does deign to work out on with some weights, he follows it up with all sorts of oooohs and aaaahs and 'budhapa aa gaya's. To pass the time in between, he fools around by doing things like pretending to run behind me and slowly overtaking me while I'm on the treadmill, passing me with a gleeful grin.

* Ajay doesn't seem to appreciate our clowning around. Especially things like when I was cycling on the exercycle and Vijay came and sat on a much lower cycling machine right next to me, and we looked at each other and raised our hands way up in the air and started singing 'Yehhh dosti.....hum nahiiii chhodenge...'

* The last time Vijay was on the exercycle, I decided to try his own silly line on him. I sauntered up to him and asked 'Kahan pahunche, Bhai?', but he just smoothly answered 'Ajmeri Gate'. I stood there thinking of a suitable reply but Ajay came up and started mocking me for spending only 3 minutes on the stepping machine and sent me off to do something else.

* It's very distracting when you're trying to work out and your six foot tall husband has positioned himself so that only you can see him in the mirror and starts dancing to the dhinchak-dhinchak music playing in the gym.

And on a not totally unrelated note, have you also been traumatized by Himmesh and Urmila in 'tan-tannanana-tandoori nights?'

(Shudder!)

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Everybody's a Comedian

Yes, okay, so I posted one post 4 times - by MISTAKE. Are we done with that now? 'Kay!

I don't have much time to write at the current moment, so here are the highlights in the form of Quotes of the Week:

From Vijay:

(sauntering around the gym to look at his non-existent muscles, pauses while I'm panting away furiously on the exercycle, and asks with genuine interest) -

'Kahan pahunche, Bhai?'

From Y:

( while getting ready for work in the morning, responding to Vijay's question as to whether his new semi-formal look is working for him - said with the utmost delicacy) -

'Honey, Semi Formal doesn't really mean that your top half can be in a completely formal shirt and your bottom half in raggedy jeans'

From our driver, Vinod

(getting more confident about my driving skills, loosening his grip on the handbrake while I struggle through a massive traffic jam)

'First class, Madam. Bahut Accha chala rahin hai. Nikaliye. NIKALIYE, Na! Nikaliye-nikaliye-nikaliye - SAMBHALIYE! MIRROR! MIRROR BACHHAIYE!'

From the baby, Peanut:

(said with the most adorable tilt of the head as she looks up at me questioningly, with a lilt on the second syllable)

'Ma-ma?'

You had to be there for this one, I think. I was. And it was great. Vijay has been trying to get her to say 'Pa-pa' in the exact same tone ever since.

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

Here I am!

Okay, there's been a lot that's happened over the last month or so. Such as:

- Peanut turning one year old. YAYY!! HAPPY BURDAY TO YOU....We had a party, she developed terribly high temperature, we panicked, she recovered, all is fine now.

- We shifted house - finally moved out of the good old mother's home and have been setting up our own place. And yes, no internet connection at home ( apart from no time) led to the lack of posts.

- At work, it's been crazy busy - one member of my team left, but another much valued erstwhile member rejoined so it's all working out well.

- Vijay has a terribly long commute to work as a result of the shift, and right now our driver Vinod has been taking me to office - I am continuing to come back at lunchtime for Peanut and therefore, there are many car rides in the day and I have started practicing driving on these silly potholed roads. Vinod claims 'Aap bahut accha chalati hai'. When I ask him why he holds on to the handbrake until his knuckles turn white, he continues 'Aap itna accha nahin chalati, Madam. Dar lagta hai'

- I have joined the gym along with Vijay. Our 'personal trainer' looks exactly like that Upen Patel chappy - except he's shorter, stouter and darker. So maybe he doesn't look EXACTLY like him, but close enough. Either way, he seems quite determined to earn his pay. Apart from his invaluable workout advice, he perceives one of his key responsibilities to be that of switching on the 'On' button on any machine that I approach. When denied of this right by my callous, thoughtless self-switching-on-of-said-machine, he looks extremely resentful. He punishes me by suggesting that I do '5 more minutes on THIS one' and '5 more minutes on THAT one'. He has also asked me when was the last time I worked out, and made no attempt to hide his surprise when I told him that I'm into regular jogging and aerobics. Despite that, I hold no grudges against him. Vijay,after just two days of working out, is convinced that he has developed great muscles and spends at least 40% of his time in the gym flexing his muscles and admiring himself in the mirror. Another 30% is spent on making funny faces at me in the mirror and attempting to cause me to fall off the treadmill. The balance is spent on actually working out. It's all very nice.

I've run out of time. Goodbye!

Here I am!

Okay, there's been a lot that's happened over the last month or so. Such as:

- Peanut turning one year old. YAYY!! HAPPY BURDAY TO YOU....We had a party, she developed terribly high temperature, we panicked, she recovered, all is fine now.

- We shifted house - finally moved out of the good old mother's home and have been setting up our own place. And yes, no internet connection at home ( apart from no time) led to the lack of posts.

- At work, it's been crazy busy - one member of my team left, but another much valued erstwhile member rejoined so it's all working out well.

- Vijay has a terribly long commute to work as a result of the shift, and right now our driver Vinod has been taking me to office - I am continuing to come back at lunchtime for Peanut and therefore, there are many car rides in the day and I have started practicing driving on these silly potholed roads. Vinod claims 'Aap bahut accha chalati hai'. When I ask him why he holds on to the handbrake until his knuckles turn white, he continues 'Aap itna accha nahin chalati, Madam. Dar lagta hai'

- I have joined the gym along with Vijay. Our 'personal trainer' looks exactly like that Upen Patel chappy - except he's shorter, stouter and darker. So maybe he doesn't look EXACTLY like him, but close enough. Either way, he seems quite determined to earn his pay. Apart from his invaluable workout advice, he perceives one of his key responsibilities to be that of switching on the 'On' button on any machine that I approach. When denied of this right by my callous, thoughtless self-switching-on-of-said-machine, he looks extremely resentful. He punishes me by suggesting that I do '5 more minutes on THIS one' and '5 more minutes on THAT one'. He has also asked me when was the last time I worked out, and made no attempt to hide his surprise when I told him that I'm into regular jogging and aerobics. Despite that, I hold no grudges against him. Vijay,after just two days of working out, is convinced that he has developed great muscles and spends at least 40% of his time in the gym flexing his muscles and admiring himself in the mirror. Another 30% is spent on making funny faces at me in the mirror and attempting to cause me to fall off the treadmill. The balance is spent on actually working out. It's all very nice.

I've run out of time. Goodbye!

Here I am!

Okay, there's been a lot that's happened over the last month or so. Such as:

- Peanut turning one year old. YAYY!! HAPPY BURDAY TO YOU....We had a party, she developed terribly high temperature, we panicked, she recovered, all is fine now.

- We shifted house - finally moved out of the good old mother's home and have been setting up our own place. And yes, no internet connection at home ( apart from no time) led to the lack of posts.

- At work, it's been crazy busy - one member of my team left, but another much valued erstwhile member rejoined so it's all working out well.

- Vijay has a terribly long commute to work as a result of the shift, and right now our driver Vinod has been taking me to office - I am continuing to come back at lunchtime for Peanut and therefore, there are many car rides in the day and I have started practicing driving on these silly potholed roads. Vinod claims 'Aap bahut accha chalati hai'. When I ask him why he holds on to the handbrake until his knuckles turn white, he continues 'Aap itna accha nahin chalati, Madam. Dar lagta hai'

- I have joined the gym along with Vijay. Our 'personal trainer' looks exactly like that Upen Patel chappy - except he's shorter, stouter and darker. So maybe he doesn't look EXACTLY like him, but close enough. Either way, he seems quite determined to earn his pay. Apart from his invaluable workout advice, he perceives one of his key responsibilities to be that of switching on the 'On' button on any machine that I approach. When denied of this right by my callous, thoughtless self-switching-on-of-said-machine, he looks extremely resentful. He punishes me by suggesting that I do '5 more minutes on THIS one' and '5 more minutes on THAT one'. He has also asked me when was the last time I worked out, and made no attempt to hide his surprise when I told him that I'm into regular jogging and aerobics. Despite that, I hold no grudges against him. Vijay,after just two days of working out, is convinced that he has developed great muscles and spends at least 40% of his time in the gym flexing his muscles and admiring himself in the mirror. Another 30% is spent on making funny faces at me in the mirror and attempting to cause me to fall off the treadmill. The balance is spent on actually working out. It's all very nice.

I've run out of time. Goodbye!

Here I am!

Okay, there's been a lot that's happened over the last month or so. Such as:

- Peanut turning one year old. YAYY!! HAPPY BURDAY TO YOU....We had a party, she developed terribly high temperature, we panicked, she recovered, all is fine now.

- We shifted house - finally moved out of the good old mother's home and have been setting up our own place. And yes, no internet connection at home ( apart from no time) led to the lack of posts.

- At work, it's been crazy busy - one member of my team left, but another much valued erstwhile member rejoined so it's all working out well.

- Vijay has a terribly long commute to work as a result of the shift, and right now our driver Vinod has been taking me to office - I am continuing to come back at lunchtime for Peanut and therefore, there are many car rides in the day and I have started practicing driving on these silly potholed roads. Vinod claims 'Aap bahut accha chalati hai'. When I ask him why he holds on to the handbrake until his knuckles turn white, he continues 'Aap itna accha nahin chalati, Madam. Dar lagta hai'

- I have joined the gym along with Vijay. Our 'personal trainer' looks exactly like that Upen Patel chappy - except he's shorter, stouter and darker. So maybe he doesn't look EXACTLY like him, but close enough. Either way, he seems quite determined to earn his pay. Apart from his invaluable workout advice, he perceives one of his key responsibilities to be that of switching on the 'On' button on any machine that I approach. When denied of this right by my callous, thoughtless self-switching-on-of-said-machine, he looks extremely resentful. He punishes me by suggesting that I do '5 more minutes on THIS one' and '5 more minutes on THAT one'. He has also asked me when was the last time I worked out, and made no attempt to hide his surprise when I told him that I'm into regular jogging and aerobics. Despite that, I hold no grudges against him. Vijay,after just two days of working out, is convinced that he has developed great muscles and spends at least 40% of his time in the gym flexing his muscles and admiring himself in the mirror. Another 30% is spent on making funny faces at me in the mirror and attempting to cause me to fall off the treadmill. The balance is spent on actually working out. It's all very nice.

I've run out of time. Goodbye!

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Crazy Biscuit Lady

Giving to beggars is wrong - is what I've been brought up to believe. The money doesn't go to them anyway, it's a whole industry, encouraging it is wrong, so on and so forth.

It's not easy to remember that when there's a hungry-looking little kid peering in through the car window. And of late, it was getting even more difficult for me to ignore them. Even on the occasions that I did manage to act uninterested, and cause them to give up and walk away, I would find myself peering curiously at them from behind my sunglasses. Where is that kid's mom? What is that little girl going to do when she gets older? What is that tiny boy's name?

The ones that really get to me are the Entertainers. They usually work in pairs, with one person beating on a dholak, while the other one, usually a smaller kid with painted red cheeks and moustaches, does these strange acrobatics and contortions. I watch, out of the corner of my eye, as they turn somersaults and cartwheels and push themselves through a ring.

Last week, my heart went out to one little boy and I told myself 'It's not begging' and gave him a few rupees. He grinned and ran away.

The next day, at the same traffic light, there he was again. His face lit up when he saw me, and he came running up, and started swinging his head to set his cap going - what IS that thing called, the string on top of their caps that goes round and round - anyway, he started up again, and I gave in and handed over a little money.

The third day, I could see him coming - and vice versa. He spotted me from a distance and came running over and repeated his little performance with a disarming grin. I tried to resist but couldn't - but I clearly told him that 'kal se, kuchh paisa nahin milega'.

The fourth day, he tried his luck again, but I refused to give him anything. But as the car pulled away, I felt the urge to give him something - but had determined not to give him cash. I ended up handing over my breakfast, a couple of sandwiches I had grabbed to eat on the way - without missing a beat, he asked for 'pani' but I didn't have any.

And then it struck me - I had seen my friend Abhi carry cold water to hand over to the kids at a traffic light near his home - and Vijay had bought a large number of biscuits to hand out once. I figured I would go with the biscuits.

So the day before yesterday, enthusiastically, I bought over 30 packets and kept them ready to hand out to all the kids I encountered. And I managed to give away quite a few, but somehow couldn't connect with my little Entertainer friend. Of course, almost each other kid decided to quickly bring back a friend, or a sibling, in order to get another packet, which I obliged with.

In the evening yesterday, at the traffic light right outside my office, one more kid asked for a second packet, saying it was for his brother, vaguely gesturing towards some point in the distance. The doubt must have shown clearly on my face, and suddenly he ran away, clearly to fetch him. I called out to tell him it was okay, that he could have another packet anyway, but he was already halfway across the road - I cringed as an auto screeched to a halt a few inches from him, and he scrambled up the pavement and disappeared from sight. He came back into view shortly, carrying a dirty looking little bald baby. If it was possible for me to feel any worse, I did when I saw him wiping the baby's face hurriedly as he carried him over, obviously in an attempt to make him look slightly presentable to me.

The baby's eyes were dull - he looked about a year old, but I couldn't really tell. I quickly held out another packet of biscuits and he took it listlessly - the older boy quickly took it from him, grinned his gratitude once and then walked off without a backward glance. I caught a glimpse of the back of the baby's head - it was covered in sores.

This morning on the way to work, and also in the afternoon as I returned to work after lunch, I missed out on giving to the kids because the car couldn't stop for long enough at the lights - I realized I still hadn't been able to give a packet to the Entertainer, my little performing friend, and felt quite disappointed. Especially because he spotted me again and practically jumped for joy before a big bus blocked our view of each other. Another little girl saw me and started running but the people behind my car were honking like psychotic idiots and we couldn't stop. The little girl ran a long way behind us but we were too far ahead for her to catch up.

Maybe tomorrow, though.

I'm glad I'm doing this - even though I have a sneaking suspicion I should hand out loose biscuits or at least tear the packet open so that it gets eaten and not sold. I'm quite aware of and okay with the reputation I must be developing amongst the kids. 'Here comes the Crazy Biscuit Lady - What a Sucker' is probably the essence of the refrain that goes up when I come into view. And that's absolutely fine with me.

I am quite ashamed that I haven't done anything notably charitable apart from a few random attempts here and there - including sponsoring a little girl called Shrikala from the SOS children's village in Bangalore, years ago when Vijay and I lived there. It was one of the most rewarding experiences possible, but so short-lived - after we moved to Bombay, we were too busy to get in touch with her again, and I keep planning to send her a letter or some gifts, but haven't done so due to lack of ...nothing. Excuses, excuses.

Anybody else noticed how easy it is for people like us us to just ignore people who aren't as lucky as we are? To justify it either by using some deeper philosophy of 'past life karma' or an unnecessarily indignant, sputtering 'Well, why can't they just find work'? Maybe that little 8-year old can't actually find 'work' - and would be underage anyway.

So while they are there, right in front of us, peering hungrily through the car window, everyday- what can we do to help?

What do you do to help?

And what is your view on this whole 'giving to beggars is wrong' deal?

Monday, July 14, 2008

'Allo, 'Allo!

Just came back from a trip to the hills over the weekend. Stayed with some friends of the family, who live in the most beautiful house in the world ( as far as I've seen, anyway!) and had a good time. Saw the best views, met some nice people, had some great wine, so much so that I even enjoyed watching the grand finale of 'Jo Jeeta Wahi Superstaaaar', which has quite a fan in my mother. But I digress. So anyway, walked a lot in the mountains, got followed by a stray dog, nearly fell to my death on the highly treacherous terrain, got wet in the rain, was asked to use an umbrella, refused haughtily and promptly fell ill, developed high temperature, was given many crocins and bundled up in a blanket and miraculously recovered in two hours. Took the train there and found that Peanut is overall much better in a train journey than in a plane journey. Went to visit the mother's old school in Sanawar and had bun samosas in Kasauli, only to find 'they don't make 'em like they used to'.

Oh, and also saw a rainbow. It was really bright and beautiful, could see the whole VIBGYOR. I don't know, I still get such a kick out of seeing a rainbow.

Fun. Hopefully, will post pics soon.

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On a totally separate and unrelated note, here's a link to something developed at work - in the conceptualization of which I was involved, in my own little, quiet, unobtrusive way. If you like it, forward it to hundreds of other people. Okay, at least 5. And If you don't like it, shush.

Later!

Sunday, July 6, 2008

Another Sunday Night Post

...and it's been a crazy couple of weeks, it has.

To start with, last weekend there was a hurried trip to Jaipur - went on Saturday and came back the next day itself. Reached Delhi in the evening, all tired, but still managed to make it for the blogger meet at the Mad Momma's place. That was fun, although I was only there for a short while - it surprised me that Peanut didn't actually cry as much as she did the last time we went to MM's place. Instead, she just looked around at the other kids and kept crawling here and there, skillfully managing to avoid being trampled. It was good to meet everybody, especially Suki and ~nm - and I meant to write about it earlier but if you really want to read about it, here's MM's post and also ~nm's, here and here. I notice from the latter's post that she called me very quiet,and MM's said the same thing to me before (although in her case, it's a little tough for anyone trying to get a word in edgewise...ha ha! Just kidding, MM!)...I guess they should just get to know me a little better - no one who actually knows me has accused me of being quiet!

But yes, I suppose I do take time to open up with people. I'm sort of shy like that.

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Then there's the fact that it seems we've finally found ourselves a place - will move in after a few weeks. It's actually everything that we wanted - well, almost - no wooden flooring, so that sucks (...for Vijay, not me - I'm quite happy). It was a frustrating couple of months, but hopefully, it'll turn out all worth it, and that this place does work out - the landlord's family looks pretty reasonable, too, so far. Fingers crossed, but yay!
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I also got me a new haircut - it's shorter than it has been in 12 years. I just told the parlor lady to do what she liked with it, and she did.

Vijay hates it though - although he refuses to admit it. That's pretty much in line with almost every man who's seen it in the last week - the comments from most of the men in my office range from: 'Whoa! Baaki kahaan hai?' (accompanied by fake laughter) to 'New look, eh?' ( Politely retreating after this astute observation). Most men really are chauvinists!

But all the women love it, and so do the guys younger than thirty. More importantly, I love it. Most importantly, it doesn't make a difference to Peanut!

Anyway, I've been trying to get Vijay to admit he hates it but he skilfully manages to change the subject everytime. But today, when I said my hair's growing too fast and it's already looking much longer and I may trim a bit from the back, he blurted out 'No! Tum phirse waise lagoge...'. He then bit his tongue and clammed up totally, and I couldn't get out of him what he meant by 'waise'...

He's actually been trying to grow his hair of late, and I haven't given Peanut her haircut in months too. As a result of the three of us have almost exactly the same hairstyle now. I bet we look a sight when we go visiting.

I remarked to Vijay that my hair grows so much faster than his and he smoothly, lovingly replied 'Itni achhi khaad jo hai neeche, na'...

Took me a second to get it. Yes, I married a clown. A chauvinistic clown, at that.

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By the way, I remembered another post I had written on my hair when I started blogging. Before I became a Mom. I can't believe how much things change -I actually had the time to think about and write in depth about things like that. That's the other interesting thing about maintaining a record of your thoughts like this - you can really see the changes in yourself.

This was also brought home to me by the arrival of a mysterious packet of gifts the other day. My maid handed it to me saying that someone had left it for me. I opened it to find a couple of little books and other assorted things like eyeliner and other make up items. I wondered who it could be from, and ooh-ed and aah-ed over the wonderful little book 'That's not my Reindeer' - a touchy-feely baby book. I then turned to my sister and said 'But what's Peanut going to do with eyeliner?'

She looked at me strangely and said 'I think, that could be for you'. She went on to laugh and remark how I've become 'such a Mom'.

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On the work front, I'm hoping things ease up a bit because I've got two new members in my team this week. Well, I don't really expect things to get any less crazy, but am hoping to get a chance to do a lot of new stuff that's been pending because we've just been very stretched overall. I think working in this start-up environment suits me a lot better, though - it's dynamic and interesting - and there are some people around who are really fun to work with.

Now if only I could figure out a way to stop feeling so tired. Peanut has for the last three days refused to have any solids, and has reverted almost completely to breastfeeding only - and that means waking up more often at night to feed too. Any idea why this is happening when she's almost a year old?

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Which reminds me, at the blogger meet, a couple of people asked why I claim to have weight issues, on the blog - I haven't bothered to check of late but I think I've actually lost quite a bit of weight. I think it's just been the getting out of the house that's done it - the only extra thing I do is walk up ten flights of stairs to the office every day. It's effective but a little boring.

My office shifts to its new location next month, and I was sort of hoping I would have an excuse to drop the long trudge upstairs - and then I discovered it's going to be on the 11th floor.

Fine, be like that!
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My friend Richa is in town, and she's getting married. The last of my single female friends to take the plunge. We went by to see her today, and found her getting her mehendi done by two skilled artists, while a few friends and family members thronged around her, and a totally besura but enthusiastic woman on the dholak bawled out shaadi songs deafeningly. It was great to see her - Richa, not the dholak lady, that is. But my heart went out to her because she's just not the 'traditional marriage scene' type and didn't really look like she was enjoying it all too much- and she's been sick for the last couple of days, to top it all off.

Anyway, I hope she feels better soon, and look forward to seeing her on the big day, in her Lehenga (...that weighs a ton, and is ridiculously expensive, and I don't understand why we have to do all these things, and I'm just going to get married in court, and I'm going to run away...)
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I'm almost finished with this post - and that silly Asia Cup final is over - thank God- and Vijay looks a bit sullen. Apparently, we've lost by over a 100 runs. Obviously, that's not very good, but for some reason, Vijay is still hanging around with the TV, waiting to hear Dhoni's speech. I am not sure whether it's see how the captain maintains his cool after a loss, or a 'You owe me an explanation, dammit!' thing. I just don't understand this game. Or my husband, for that matter.

And on that pleasant note - goodnight, all.

Sunday, June 22, 2008

Bits and Ends

I'm kind of tired of these bloody landlords. They act like they're doing you a goddamn favour by considering you as a tenant for their flats. I mean, hello? There's this teensy weensy little thing known as 'rent' which is payment for occupancy of their property. That makes us the customers - and the customer is always right. Right?

Wrong.

So there's snotty Mrs. L who has a whole host of requirements ' ....no less than Rs. XXXXX per month, maintenance to be paid directly, I will need two cheques, part payment in cash ( hmm, shady lady!), 3 months advance, 3 months security, 1 month extra for some work I'm getting done on the flat, yada yada yada....'

Vijay and I ( prostrating ourselves at her feet) : Oh Thank you! We're not worthy! We're not worthy!

Sigh. Cry. Moan. Groan. 'K, I'm done with this.

Hopefully the house hunt will be over soon. Hopefully.
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I have decided to start another blog - you may put this down as 'Coming Attraction'. I am thinking of basing it on Marketing, since that's what I do. Of course, as Vijay pointed out in his usual sardonic manner, nowadays even when a housewife goes to pick up alu-pyaaz, she refers to it as Marketing. Therefore, everybody is a Marketeer. I am hoping that unlike this blog, that blog actually says a few things that make sense - or otherwise, is confusing enough to impress a few people, who will in later years hire me for a high-paying consultancy-type role.

You may say I'm a dreamer. But I'm not the only one.

I will probably be inviting guest contributions, given the lack of time I seem to be giving to this whole blogging thing nowadays. Are you interested in being a guest contributor on a new, fantastic blog on marketing whose name I haven't thought of yet?

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Peanut's new name is 'Chipkushka' because she's a total Chipku with me. She's going 'Mamamamamama' all the time when I'm around and I don't really get much time for anything else. Heck, who wants time for anything else! But still. Anyway, she's learnt quite a few gestures such as 'Kangi Karo' ( touches her head and runs her fingers through her hair); 'Namaste karo' ( folds hands together clumsily); 'Taali bajao' (tries to brings hands together and misses, sometimes gets it right) and so on. She even 'scolds' me when I refuse to feed her after being bitten by her - she cries unhappily as I cover up, and waves her finger at me wildly, in an accurate imitation of my 'Don't do that' gesture.

Her latest is 'Wah' - which of course is being taught to her by her father. I mildly suggested that may be a little more useful to teach her a few signs such as 'I'm hungry' or 'I'm tired' but Vijay looked at me blankly and went back to stretching his arm out dramatically towards the ceiling and saying 'Betu, do like THIS with your hand - and say 'Wah!''

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I was a bit bored one day last week and decided to give myself a different hairstyle. Oh, all right, so I just thought I would part my hair on the right instead of the left. I did so while looking in the mirror, and immediately wished I hadn't - because there they were, irrefutable proof of the fact that I am now old - two distinctly white hair.

I couldn't believe it - I've never had white hair in my life, not even one. And almost everybody around me has some white hair - friends, colleagues, younger siblings...I've often privately pitied their premature aging and thanked the universe that my hair has stayed its original colour.

But so much for that, eh? I'm now officially old. What the early marriage, the 6 years of corporate life, the childbirth and motherhood couldn't do - the simple action of parting my hair on the right that day, has done.

I went back to parting my hair on the left, but it's too late.
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I would have liked to end this on a happier note, but I can't think of anything else right now and it's Sunday night and I'm tired and I'm just thinking about how a one-day weekend isn't really a weekend at all and how it's going to be another action packed week at work from tomorrow morning and how I have to pee right now and I'm going so Goodnight.

Thursday, June 19, 2008

Working Moms?

I usually stay far away from any remotely serious topics, and am not particularly interested in controversy - I just don't have the energy or time to deal with it regularly, anyway.

That's why I've always been a silent observer of the entire Mommy debate - the 'Working Mom' vs. 'Stay at Home Mom' thing.

I had a good long set of months to observe this debate too, when I was on maternity leave with Peanut. It was a very much-needed break for me and I focussed totally on the baby - and realized that I need to work - actually, I want to work. It's just that I needed to find the right support system to let me do it, and also, to find work that I would really enjoy. Both of these happened when we decided to move to Delhi.

Of course, when I started work after the long break, I had a lot of things on my mind as to how it would work out - I hadn't actually left Peanut for more than a couple of hours - was continuing to breastfeed her, and she was still very fussy about taking solids regularly. I thought she would continue to be on my mind all the time, and that I wouldn't be able to concentrate. I also thought that my restricted travel could prove to be an issue. As would the coming back in the middle of the day to feed her. And so on.

Well, it looks like it's all going to work out, and has been working out just fine for the last couple of months. A lot of things have helped in this regard:

- Having a boss who is a Mom of three kids and openly supportive about my needing to go home at lunchtime to see Peanut. Being able to see her in the middle of the day is a very big plus, for both Peanut and me.

- Having family around for support - even though they all work, I know my mother and sister can be called upon to come home a bit earlier than usual on the rare occasions that I get late. Oh, and Vijay too.

- Having a maid who has been with us for a quarter of a century to watch over Peanut. I can't actually imagine trusting Peanut with someone new or unknown. I suppose one would have found a way to survive without her, but I'm glad I haven't had to.

- Breastfeeding. It is very relaxing, and ensures that Peanut and I get some alone time together at regular intervals of the day - before and after work, and even during lunch. I was planning to wean her at 1 year, which is just a month away now, but I actually see no reason to now. I'd like to hear from the moms who continued beyond one year, most of the mommy bloggers I've read seem to have stopped at 1 year or earlier. 'Benefits of extended breastfeeding', anyone?

- Having work that is engaging, and ensures that I don't sit around thinking 'Why am I here and not with my baby at home, sniff, sob'. It's not easy to leave her every morning, especially when that quivering pink lower lip and those frantically flailing chubby white arms come into play. I'd hate to be pining away for her while I was at work. But it doesn't really happen - I'm always glad to be back home, but I'm never dragging my feet to work either. ( Except that post lunch sleepy time is a killer for a few minutes, of course!)

Anyway, the point I was eventually hoping to meander around to - I was slightly - okay, very - inflamed to read an article on some study in Australia or New Zealand or something - which said that a recent survey showed that working mothers are treated as 'relatively unskilled' and given far less preference in their fields of work than their non-maternal counterparts. The time they spend on maternity leave, or if they choose to take a longer break, all goes against them when they do decide to go back to work.

I don't know about this. I have myself faced some slight bias in this regard. Even though my previous company gave me an enviably long maternity leave, I know there was some khit-pit ( a better word escapes me right now) about my wanting to work flexi-time. And this, when I worked on a branch of marketing which involves a lot of thinking time, and is eminently do-able out of home. Plus, I've done well for years at work and was rated fairly highly. When I finally decided to move to Delhi and quit, I was asked a number of times to reconsider but I really didn't want to reconsider anymore. I was told I was a highly valued resource but I didn't feel particularly valued. I was asked to give an exit interview, and I was very candid in my feedback. My candour probably had the HR person's ear hurting by the end of it. To be fair to him, he was very supportive as a person, but I think it was just a larger thing, a very real thing : there is this - in varying degrees of intensity and openness - bias against working mothers.

And even though I don't really face this in my current role, I think a large part of this comes from having a boss, who by virtue of being an effective working mother of multiple children, is just very understanding about the whole deal. What about other working moms, who may not be that lucky?

In short: it kind of sucks! What's your take?

Thursday, June 12, 2008

An Important conclusion

I just came home at 7 p.m., and Peanut decided to drift off to sleep while I was feeding her. So I find myself with an unusual bit of free time and thought I'd write.



It's not been the best couple of days- both at work and at home. There's a lot going on and a whole bunch of issues to deal with. I will refrain from getting into the specifics. Let me just say this:

Everybody is an idiot. With the sole exception of Peanut.

Sunday, June 8, 2008

Can't Win 'Em All.

....or maybe it should be Can't Win 'Em At All.



The house hunt goes on without much success. We have found a couple of places we like, but the foul landlords have bene ghastly, stating all sorts of funny requirements such as - pay 6 months advance, another few months security, part payment in cash ( to avoid tax!), the payment in cash upfront for the full year, token advance (to be forfeited if we change our minds, to be refunded if they change theirs), two months rent to be forfeited as 'fine' if we move out before the year ends, yada yada yada ad nauseum. We have had to resist from flinging ourselves at their feet screaming 'We're not worthy!'



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Work goes on and it's launch time for one of the brands I'm working on, so it's been rather hectic of late. I haven't been sleeping well, and feel a little dazed of late. It doesn't help that this Saturday and the last have been working Saturdays and the one-day-weekend just doesn't work, really. You might as well be coming into office on Sunday as well.

Scratch that.

The point is, it's been quite crazy, and it's now Sunday evening again and I'm like 'Where did the day go?'. My eyes are all swollen now and burning and my head feels heavy. Just not getting time to do anything much nowadays apart from work and I think it's beginning to get to me just a little bit. On the bright side, I think the launch is hopefully going to go well. But if things continue this way and Peanut doesn't let me get proper sleep during the nights, I'm going to launch myself out my bedroom window soon. Good thing there are bars on it. And that we're on the ground floor. Damn.

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In the spirit of complete superstition, let us all say 'Thoo thoo' for the beautiful weather we've been having in Delhi. The mornings have been just magical, and while some people may say that the days are a bit muggy, I say to those people 'Try being here when you're 8 months pregnant last year'. And while that thought doesn't actually make much sense when phrased that way, I think you know what I mean. Anyway, for the weather in Delhi, here it is, one more time, courtesy Dotmom:



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Peanut continues to be a rock star. She has started swaying and clapping her hands in time with music and I refuse to be embarassed about the fact that her favourite song is 'Soni de Nakhre'. Come on, you know you love it too! Look at Govinda Go!

O Kaindi Pump up the Jam, Baby, O Jaane Jaana!
(Or something)
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I assure you I had several more brilliant things to say but have now forgotten all of them and am so tired that I'm ready to pitch forward into my laptop. Let's see what that would look like?

ujiuyifrggggggggfkj;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;

Am back!

Am gone!

Anyone up for a blogger meet in Delhi sometime soon? If interested, leave a comment, won't ya?

Wednesday, June 4, 2008

Why is it so hard to rent a place in Delhi?

We've been looking to rent a place for the last couple of months now. Are these criteria a little too stringent, you think?

*Must be ground floor or first floor only( I don't want to pant up too many stairs to reach Peanut if the lift isn't working), but yet very safe and well-protected ( a veritable fortress)

*Must be reasonable rent (But, of course)

*Must be large and spacious ( Hey, we've lived in Bombay for the last 1.5 years. Enough of feeling cramped)

*Must be in a particular colony where we have relatives (And which is notoriously prime property with hardly any empty flats)

*Must have nice flooring ( My husband has a fascination for wooden flooring. I have no idea why)

*Must have a balcony with a nice view (So what if it is the ground or first floor, we demand an aerial view of the city)

*Must have a servant quarter (I no longer remember why this is important, considering we've done very well without this all our lives)

*Must have excellent club facilities (After all, we see ourselves using the gym, swimming, playing squash and doing aerobics every day of the week)

*Must have plenty of greenery around ( We're nature lovers and Peanut deserves to grow up with a park nearby)

*Must have an easily accessible shopping complex, availability of home delivery for food and other groceries ( We're a busy lot)

WE WANT IT ALL! AND WE WANT IT NOW!

What's unreasonable about that?

Wednesday, May 28, 2008

Peanut's Such a Little...Person!

I am quite amazed by some of the stuff that Peanut has started doing. And of course, I assume you share my fascination, so here goes.

* She recognizes the term 'Get down' and actually inches backwards towards the edge of the bed to try and climb down. Of course, sometimes she decides to change her mind at the last minute and ends up hanging off the side precariously but determinedly, and has to be pushed off the edge. When she lands and receives applause, she squeals in delight, a sound that sounds like a triumphant 'A-haaaa!'. She then, in her excitement, attempts to walk away from the bed, forgetting that she can't actually walk, and has to be rescued from the imminent fall.

* If any one of the rest of us lies down in front of her with our eyes closed, she leans over and 'kisses' us on the cheek. Well, this works for her father, her masi and her nani anyway. When it comes to me trying this out, I end up getting poked in the eye. If I make the mistake of giggling, she will do it again. And again. And it's really not that funny to have someone trying to claw your eyelid open. Just when I'm about to put an end to this, she deigns to lean over and put her mouth on my cheek, often biting me hard with her gums. And it's fantastic.

* She seems to know the time that I'm about to come home, and always gets terribly excited when I ring the doorbell. The K insists that if someone else comes home around the time, the baby gets very disappointed to see that it's them instead of me. My sister told me that when she came home one day, Peanut actually put on a sulky, sullen face for a while before deciding to forgive her and play with her.

* She continues to exhibit a clear preference for me - Vijay continues to try and get her to say Papa, which is met with dogged 'Mama' in response. I am, in the spirit of fairness, attempting to teach her to say Papa now too, if a little half-heartedly.

* She dances! When she's on all fours, she'll rock back and forth. When she's sitting up or standing, she shakes her head side to side with the biggest grin on her face - oftentimes, she does this head shaking even without music, just to express her happiness with life in general. I think she'll be quite musical because she manages to beat out a fair rhythm on her katori and spoons. I even saw her daintily pick out a tune on the huge keyboard that Vijay bought for her a while back. Okay, so maybe I exaggerate here a bit. It's amusing to see her play an instrument six times her size.

* She loves reading- she listens with rapt attention to the stories that I read out and cries everytime a book is closed. This process goes on and on until I finally toss the books aside, telling her to just learn to read them herself if she's that interested.

* Like every other baby, she loves throwing things, getting a huge kick out of this and laughing loudly and wildly each time the unfortunate object reaches the floor with a satisfying, resounding clang. I've never laughed so much to see things being actively destroyed before.

Yes. I've said it before and I'll say it again - I've never met a more interesting person in my life.

Friday, May 23, 2008

She's Back and this time, She's Rambling!

...Okay, okay, quickly, gotta do this quickly. There's been so much happening but I just don't get time to blog about it. Hey what's this ओह माय गोद , नो नोट गोद, गव्द okay, sorry about that, I got excited because I saw the hindi scripting feature just now. Have I really been away that long, Blogger? How much you've changed. Sigh.

It's a beautiful Saturday morning in Delhi. One of those alternate non-working Saturdays and the possibility of a whole lazy two-day weekend stretches before me. It's been so lovely, the weather. I remember I came to Delhi just about this time last year, a couple of months before delivering Peanut - the weather was nothing like this.

I mentioned it here in this post, and it was one where I wrote about our 'awesome twosome' - our help in Mumbai, Zareena and Vinod. Well, I think I haven't really had time to mention it, but Zareena was totally broken when we decided to relocate to Delhi a couple of months back. She was very emotional when she heard about it, and was quite depressed for a few days - having become fond of all us, especially the baby.

She came with Vinod to drop us to the airport when we were all leaving, dressed in her 'outside of home' Sari, with her long hair open, looking quite tragic - no more tears while waving us goodbye, but a shaky little smile. Funnily enough, that's one thing about Mumbai that I'm really missing - having Zareena around.

I'm not missing the equally valuable driver, Vinod, though - for the very simple reason that the young man has decided to relocate and has come to Delhi to continue to be with us. That's something which I'm really glad about although I've felt slightly worried about his settling into this city - he was just so comfortable in Mumbai, had lots of contacts, stayed with his elder brother there - but he seems to be doing alright and claims to like the city well enough. In fact, in Mumbai, he had an offer from his earlier 'Model Memsahib' to come back to her, for around 50% more than we can pay him - but he decided to just stick on with us because he seems to like us. Good for us. Given how difficult good help is to find, it makes to keep the ones you can. Couldn't take Zareena with us though. She calls occasionally but apart from hearing her familiar yell 'KAISE HO, THEEK HOON MEMSAHIB, KAJAL KYA KAR RAHIN HAI, BABY KYA KAR RAHIN HAI', there isn't really that much you talk about on the phone with her.

Anyway, so life goes on and I'm quite excited because there are going to be three new babies - yes, three! - amongst my close family and friends over the next few months - that's really good because I have these visions of Peanut growing up with all of them, even though none of them are in my city so far. I guess I'm hoping that they will all converge to Delhi like we did, realizing that it's just so much better to be with family around this time.

After joining work, I've been really busy because there is so much going on and it's all very exciting stuff - I think the best thing about my new workplace is the energy that we've got going on over there - it's a whole new business, and a whole new world, but I'm able to apply the stuff I've learned over the last few years quite well - it's good to be in a place where you can make a difference and also keep learning something new everyday. But we're little short on people and so it's quite madly busy during the week. Oh, by the way, any one of you interested in working in a great Internet business, in marketing ? Let me know.

Wow, I didn't want to convert this post into a recruitment bid, so let me smoothly move on. Peanut is doing fine, she's almost 10 months old now. She has been irritating Vijay by refusing to say Papa, doggedly repeats Mamamamamamama whenever he tries to get her to say it. I try to tell him that he needn't put forth his case in the form of his own personal cheer - he sits down in front of her and chants 'Who is the best? Pa-PA...Who is the best? Pa-PA'. She watches with an amused expression and then quickly crawls over to me, going 'Mamamamama'. The other thing she's learnt to say quite well is 'Nai-nai-nai-nai-nai-nai' which is typically used when we're trying to get her to sleep at night.

I'm a lot less tired now, having recovered from a cold over the last week and deciding that I will get in some exercise every morning no matter how bad I wake up feeling. Peanut's been consenting to sleep by 10.30 p.m. and nowadays I actually can't remember in the mornings, whether she wakes up with the same frequency at night as before - so I suspect keenly that this might be why I'm feeling better rested but here I will unsuccessfully search for that anti-jinx thing and end up quickly changing the subject again.

Actually, I think I'll just post later because I can hear Peanut playing in the other room and she seems to be finding something very funny indeed. During the week, I do come back to feed her every day at lunchtime and that is really important to me - but now that my time with her is cut down on working days, I tend to cling on to her the same way she clings on to me while I'm home. And that's pretty much why the infrequency of posts.

And how are all of you? Good, I hope? Let me know if you're still there?

See you later!

I'm sure you understand.

Friday, May 9, 2008

A Regular Childhood

Aaaarrgh! A weekend post again. I am becoming a mere weekend blogger at this rate. Anyway, for some vague reason, I've been wondering what constitutes an 'average' childhood for us middle class Indians. So, I am curious to know how many people have done a bulk of these things when they were kids.

a. Peed in a pool. Fairly regularly, actually. It was just easier, you know?
b. Dressed up in white flowing robes, painted their faces white, called themselves 'Bhootneeta' and frightened smaller kids in the family/neighbourhood, perhaps unintentionally causing a lot of trauma in later life.
c. Called 100 just to check if the police would really pick up. Called them again a few more times before resting easy.
d. Pranced out of the house to play with the neighbourhood kids, your enthusiasm causing you to forget that you were only in your undies.
e. Adopted a stray cat or dog, and regularly fed them with milk and burnt cookies made in the microwave. Had your heart broken irreparably when one of them died, and no, it wasn't because of the cookies.
f. Developed a fixation for 'buried treasure', and spent hours on hot summer afternoons digging in the neighbour's garden for it. Finally found a dirty old bone and convinced you had discovered the remnants of a dinosaur.
g. Performed silly, never-ending songs at the drop of a hat. That bloody 'When you're happy and you know it, clap your hands' and others like it.
h. Refused to complete a homework assignment regarding the hair colour of your parents, on the grounds that 'my Daddy doesn't have any hair', only to have the class teacher scruitinize his head carefully at PTA and embarass him by informing him that he does have some hair left.
i. Attempted to teach yourself juggling, but choosing to do so ambitiously using eggs, and broken right on top of your mother's radio. Wiped the surface clean but still causing the mother shock when she investigated why it wasn't working by taking it apart, and discovering egg yolk inside.
j. Hidden under the bed regularly to read your mean brother's collection of books and thus forever associating the Hardy Boys with dusty darkness.
k. Rather fancied yourself a hairdresser and practiced on your sister's long, flowing locks, chopping them mercilessly and reducing her to blubbering tears. Hid in the bathroom while your Mom consoled her and tried to to fix it, trying to convince everyone that she had wanted a more stylish look and you were only trying to help.

So, tell me, is this a 'usual' childhood? How many of you have done things like this in some form or the other?