The K and my sister:
K: Shoneee kitna chalaak hai, oh baba goh! Shabh jaanti hai...
My sister: Hmmm? (half listening)
K (conversationally and candidly): Aap log to bilkul buddhu the...
Vijay and Peanut:
V (chanting with enthusiasm): Ek dhakka aur do...saari potty nikaal do!
Peanut ( obligingly potties some more, on my hand, as I clean her up while V looks unusually happy): ....
My sister and me:
Sister (petulantly): WHY you going to Bombay? With MY baby?
Me (feeling sorry): Yeah. You'll really miss her. What'll you do when you come home in the evening?
Sister (snaps maliciously) : I'll cry. And curse you. Every day.
Me: Well, at least you've got a plan.
The K and me:
Me (trying to dress a wailing Peanut to go out, getting very late): Uska woh dena...
K (hovering around in readiness, not knowing which way to lurch): Kya?
Me (searching for the hindi word for 'Glove') : Woh...woh...
K ( desperately trying to help, picks up a diaper): Yeh!?
Me: (getting frustrated) Nahin...kyo bolte hai usse, yaar...uska...haath ka...
K ( triumphantly grabs the nearest rattle) : Yeh!
Me: Nahin, yaar...haath pe pehnaate hai na...
K ( finally handing me Peanut's gloves): Achha!Yeh!
Me (relieved) Thank you.
K (beaming) Belkum... (adds helpfully as I put the gloves on Peanut's hands) Isse haath ka moja kehte hai.
Vijay and me:
Me (upset that Vijay is busy working on his laptop on the weekend): I'll run away from you.
Vijay (perks up immediately, looking up with interest) Kabhhh?
Me ( still trying ) I'm serious. You'll be all alone, I'll run away.
Vijay: (pumping fist encouragingly) On your marks...Get set...
Peanut's Paediatrician and me:
Doc (wrapping up visit): Ok, Vasundhara, all the best in Bombay.
Me (for the nth time) : Umm...it's Yashodhara, doc.
Doc (surprised): Is it? Well, the same thing, Vasundhara, Yashodhara. They are the same person we worship.
Me (as docile as a cow in front of the man with the needle, while thinking 'what a load of crap'): Yes, Doc.
Doc: Now, let me give you the receipt for the vaccination. What's his name?
Doc (finally, after treating my baby for over 3 months, exclaims in surprise) Oh...it's a girl!