Monday, November 5, 2007

Conversations

The K and my sister:

K: Shoneee kitna chalaak hai, oh baba goh! Shabh jaanti hai...
My sister: Hmmm? (half listening)
K (conversationally and candidly): Aap log to bilkul buddhu the...

Vijay and Peanut:

V (chanting with enthusiasm): Ek dhakka aur do...saari potty nikaal do!
Peanut ( obligingly potties some more, on my hand, as I clean her up while V looks unusually happy): ....


My sister and me:

Sister (petulantly): WHY you going to Bombay? With MY baby?
Me (feeling sorry): Yeah. You'll really miss her. What'll you do when you come home in the evening?
Sister (snaps maliciously) : I'll cry. And curse you. Every day.
(Silence)
Me: Well, at least you've got a plan.

The K and me:

Me (trying to dress a wailing Peanut to go out, getting very late): Uska woh dena...
K (hovering around in readiness, not knowing which way to lurch): Kya?
Me (searching for the hindi word for 'Glove') : Woh...woh...
K ( desperately trying to help, picks up a diaper): Yeh!?
Me: (getting frustrated) Nahin...kyo bolte hai usse, yaar...uska...haath ka...
K ( triumphantly grabs the nearest rattle) : Yeh!
Me: Nahin, yaar...haath pe pehnaate hai na...
K ( finally handing me Peanut's gloves): Achha!Yeh!
Me (relieved) Thank you.
K (beaming) Belkum... (adds helpfully as I put the gloves on Peanut's hands) Isse haath ka moja kehte hai.

Vijay and me:

Me (upset that Vijay is busy working on his laptop on the weekend): I'll run away from you.
Vijay (perks up immediately, looking up with interest) Kabhhh?
Me ( still trying ) I'm serious. You'll be all alone, I'll run away.
Vijay: (pumping fist encouragingly) On your marks...Get set...

Peanut's Paediatrician and me:

Doc (wrapping up visit): Ok, Vasundhara, all the best in Bombay.
Me (for the nth time) : Umm...it's Yashodhara, doc.
Doc (surprised): Is it? Well, the same thing, Vasundhara, Yashodhara. They are the same person we worship.
Me (as docile as a cow in front of the man with the needle, while thinking 'what a load of crap'): Yes, Doc.
Doc: Now, let me give you the receipt for the vaccination. What's his name?
Me: Anoushka.
Doc (finally, after treating my baby for over 3 months, exclaims in surprise) Oh...it's a girl!

15 comments:

  1. Great writing, good way to stay in touch with you guys.

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  2. hahaha - my belly was jiggling with laughter by the end of it. i still think it is a huge concern that your doctor can't identify a baby's gender. maybe he missed the first day of class. i think you should have got your revenge by asking him how his husband is.

    oh and poor sister and poor Y (in parts). K wins most conversations but Vijay is the outright winner!

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  3. Are you sure you should be trusting your baby with a doc who doesn't know her gender?!!

    Lol, I think the get set go scenario has happened in many a households! Dont worry, you're not alone :)

    At least you also use the word "moje" and not "jurabe"! Thank God some people still speak non-punjabi hindi! lol!

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  4. Laughed my head off! As Juhi Chawla says in the Kurkure advertisement, "Kya family hai!" (which of course includes the priceless K-
    aap log toh bilkul buddhu the!)
    May I add, kya doctor hai!

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  5. Oh migosh!!!(laughs out loud)
    n I agree with Ganju...Vijay is ultimate! though K definitely gives him a lot of competition!
    (still laughing)

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  6. n yeah yeah ....a glove's called a 'dastana' right?
    google rocks!
    Admit it... you thought my Hindi rocks?right?:P

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  7. absolutely mind blowingly mood upturner

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  9. HAHAHAHAHA....
    Great piece of writing!!!
    And for your doc I can just say..i mean sing.."sab golmaal hai bhai sab golmaal hai..... :-)

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  10. Seriously... you should write a sit com based on your life...

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  11. lol... Your blog has started appealing to Multi - Generation audience. My mom likes the Vijay Parts.

    But i can really imagine G Snapping the crying and cursing part.

    Too Funny.

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  12. mail me at doiwrite@gmail.com whenever you can. I'm already at Jaipur. I will share my contact details with you over the email. I'm here till 12th morning.

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  13. I just managed a belly laugh for the first time since.. umm.. I last read your blog! :D :D

    Enjoy the trip and stay!

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Hi there. Go on, say it. Well? WELL?