Friday, April 11, 2008

Why You Shouldn't Ask Your Spouse For Feedback

So, I started work today after quite a few months of leave. It was a good day but hectic - and I'm too tired to write about it right now. Instead, putting up what I composed two days back. Bye!

Early morning conversation over tea.

Y: Honey, tell me three faults of mine.

Vijay (almost chokes while sipping tea): What?

Y: I'm in the mood for self-improvement. Go on, tell me my faults.

Vijay (sugary voice): You? Faults? You have no faults.

Y: It's okay, really. You can tell me. No problem. Tell me. I really want to know.

Vijay: No, no, let's talk about something else.

Y: Honey, please! Tell me - I want to work on it. You can tell me. Come on.

Vijay: Well, there's one right there, right now - you're so obstinate.

(Silence. Hurt look on my face.)

Vijay: But in a good way! Obstinacy is good. It gets things done.

Y: Hmmm. Fine. What else? Tell me another.

Vijay: do tend to be rigid.

Y: Me, rigid? Am I really rigid?

Vijay: Yes. A lot of the time. All the time.

Y: Really? I'm like that? Sort of 'My way or the Highway' types?

Vijay: Noooo....You're more like 'My way IS the Highway'. Ha ha ha.


Vijay: But rigidity can be good - it means that you don't sway this way and that - it helps you to be decisive. Yes, we need people who can make decisions.

Y: But I often change my decisions.

Vijay: Yes! And that means you're flexible and adaptive.

Y: But if I'm flexible and adaptive, how can I also be rigid?

Vijay: Because you're only rigid about one thing at a time. Then you change your mind and are rigid about another thing.


Vijay (Getting into the flow and clearly starting to enjoy himself): ...and you don't really let things go, you know. Little things - you can't let them go. You know that?

Y (Hastily): Okay, okay. That's the third fault. Fine.

Vijay: Third? Only two so far, I thought?

Y: Obstinacy. Rigidity. Not letting things go. That's three...Aren't you getting late for work now?

Vijay (Tilting his head back thoughtfully, putting his hands behind his head while stretching out his long legs): Shall I take the day off so that we can talk about this?

A very kind offer which I unfortunately had to refuse.


  1. Ack.
    Never wise to ask people to name your faults, is it? :)

  2. I get such a motherload of feedback from the husband when I ask for it - it helps that I only ask once a year MAAAYBEEE.. But I've got things like 'Can't let go', 'Control freak', 'Micro-manager', 'Impulsive', 'Impatient'-- all in a very very good way of course.

    Hope the job is going well!


  3. You are back to work? Yay!! And good luck for everything - hope everything works out fine.

    How many years have you been married? This is a lesson you learn in year 4 or 5. And it is preceeded by other lessons like never ask if you look fat in a dress, never give your husband choices if you really want him to do prticular thing, never ask your husband to tell you if the food you cooked is not good, never give your husband more than one tasks at once etc. :D

  4. Duh duh, frankly I think you've been playing the feedback game as long as I've known you. And you're the undisputed, world champion, queen of the world, best feedback giver - with a gold medal. It's just the receiving you need to work on.

    On a moderately unrelated note...

    Oh wait - I had nothing more to say. I'm just so used to saying things that don't necessarily tie in with the theme of your blog that that sentence comes automatically. I think I'm done here. Up, up and AWAYYYYYYY

    [And he trudges off quietly....]

  5. Hee've married the right sort of guy :-)

    All the best for the juggling act to follow sweets. You will do just great, I know!! Pliss to tell where are you joining on FB on chat or mail.

    Love to the princess.

  6. Y, sweetheart, you walked into that with your eyes wide open!

    The perfect woman is perfect, no need for feedback:)

  7. Hey...have been visitin ur blogs for some time now. In a word...Terrific ! Keep it goin, woman !

  8. Hehee..sounds like the negative aspects question in interviews where you have to say stuff at the same time not being too brutally honest!!

  9. Whatever got you to ask in the first place? Very, very funny.

  10. Hhahhaha..too good but whats his fault asked for it :)

  11. You've got a great style and I recall, a few days ago while reading some of your old posts I burst out into squeals, giggling in full view of a silent, grumpy open office ! I head my small team and I got stared at but its OK :)

    Set me thinking my own blog is morose. I write touchy feely stuff. In fact I jump upon my keyboard to type only when I am touchy feely ! I so wish I could capture the funny, mad moments of life like you do. I suspect I am rambling...look forward to more of you & more laughs !

  12. LOL this is really, really funny, next time give him a, CBSE style, multiple choice question.
    Question- Do I have any faults?
    a.) None
    b.) None at all
    c.) None that I have noticed
    d.) Nope you are perfect!
    Love your funny posts:)

  13. Hey Y. My first visit here and must say...I loved it! Will surely not be the last....Cheers!

  14. LOL I love the Vijay tales as I refer to them in my head. (That's what I voted on your poll too :)

  15. wow! you both are really made for each other.. Reading your posts, I started to feel that even likes can attract each other :)

  16. Hello. This post is likeable, and your blog is very interesting, congratulations :-). I will add in my blogroll =). If possible gives a last there on my blog, it is about the Home Theater, I hope you enjoy. The address is A hug.

  17. Good luck with your job... is it with a new company?

    Howz Peanut taking your absences?

  18. Showed this to the husband. He was all 'Thank God I am not the only one with a wife like that'... ;-)

  19. LOL!! Poor Y who cudn;t take up V on his generous offer!

  20. what men really need is a gumball machine of appropriate sugared responses.

    Hope the work thing's spiffy and you have fun stories to share with Peanut when you get home.

    Null Pointer

  21. YLal! Where are you? Been so long since you posted... been extremely busy? Settled into job/home? Can we meet? How's peanut? Post something!

  22. I really enjoy reading your posts!!! I could picture my husband reacting the exact same way! :)


Hi there. Go on, say it. Well? WELL?