Monday, December 24, 2007

I Am So Smart

It's just not really been my week.

First, I lost my phone and all the Peanut pictures on it. That was not very nice.

The same evening, I thought I would cheer myself up by watching my newly purchased VCD of the Harry Potter 'Order of the Phoenix'. Shocking that I haven't seen it yet, I know, but I've been a bit busy raising a baby. Anyhow, I purposefully unwrapped the CD, opened up the cover, and while taking Disc 1 out, snapped it neatly in half. I gazed at the two pieces just lying there silently, taunting me with their indifference. I think my eyes may have welled up in tears.

I went over to Vijay, who was trying to take a nap, and woke him up to show him the pieces. 'Can you fix this?', I asked hopefully.

He looked at them and said slowly 'No...'

I was aghast. 'But you are an engineer. Can't you glue it together or something?'

He could see I was not to be diverted. 'Okay, leave it there, Honey, I'll try later', he said, while turning over and pulling his pillow firmly over his head.

Why are men such liars?


I was going to blog about my recent trips to the dentist but have decided it is too painful right now as the memory is fresh. However, suffice it to say I am debating with myself which has been the lowest point of the week. It could be any of the instances below:

a. When the dentist injected the anaesthetic into my gum, so that I felt nothing when he was hacking away at my teeth. No, no, that part was good. The bad part was when he instructed me to rinse my mouth out. Everything was all numb and I couldn't move my jaw properly - the long and short of it is that I missed the basin completely and spat right on the dentist's immaculately maintained wall. It was not my finest moment. Judging from the dentist's silence, it wasn't the best part of his day either.

I'm sure this happens to everyone - although Vijay claims it hasn't ever happened to him. But then, men are liars.

b. Since my temporary crowns keep coming loose for some bloody reason, I've had to make two otherwise unnecessary trips all the way across town, with my baby in tow - driving for a total of 3 hours each time, for just 10 minutes work, because only the glue or cement or whatever-it-is had to be fixed.

I am still waiting for my permanent crowns to arrive. In desperation, my dentist has given me a spatula, a square plastic mixing base, two tubes to mix together to form the glue/cement/whatever-it-is, and an instrument with a menacing hook.

An apparent admirer of my husband, he said 'Just ask Vijay to mix these together and put the crown back for you'. I was thinking 'Yeah, right. This is the stuff divorces are made off'.

And then he added 'But I'm sure this time it won't come off'. I was thinking the now familiar thought 'Why are men such liars?'

c. The second trip I made to get it fixed, my cousin Mini accompanied me, handling the baby in the dentist's office. While Peanut behaved admirably there, she now appears to hate her car seat and we had an extremely harrowing time with her bawling in the car.

I had to ask Vinod to stop the car on the way back, so that I could take her out and calm her down. It was quite hot, there was the sound of honking and traffic all around, and my nerves were rather frayed. But Peanut began to calm down as I swayed her in my arms, back and forth. Mini looked out at us from the front seat. She slowly got out of the car and approached us. By this time, Peanut was almost asleep. I started to feel calmer myself, as my big sister approached with apparent tenderness at this loving scene of mother and baby, rocking back and forth, a small bubble of peace in all the chaos of the outside world. Mini leaned in close to the two of us, and whispered in my ear to inform me 'Your fly is undone'.

d. But I have to say, it might just be this one that was my lowest moment - when my crown actually came off for the second time. I was on the phone talking to the nice lady at, booking tickets for Mini, when I felt a sneeze coming on. It was a particularly violent one that came in the middle of a sentence wherein I was informing the Yatra lady that the booking reference number was 'T for Taxi...V for Vijay...'. The force of the sneeze that arrived in the middle of a sentence, sent my crown suddenly flying across the room.

This was embarassing enough as it is, but was made worse by my lovely cousin, insisting on scrambling to retrieve it. In general, you don't want other people to be picking up bits of your teeth, temporary or otherwise, and I'm sure it's not a load of fun for them either. Anyway, the nice Yatra lady was saying, politely and charmingly 'Bless You, Ma'am'. I wanted to hit her but being reasonable, I realized it was not her fault, and anyway, she was safe on the other end of the line.

I also realize as I type this that I've made myself sound like quite an idiot. Well, the truth of the matter is, I rather am. But tell me, seriously, tell me - this stuff DOES happen to everyone, right? Right? Right? (She implored)

For now, I've had a brilliant idea, and I'm going to try using the dentist's 'base paste & catalyst paste' and other equipment to glue my Harry Potter CD together.


  1. 'tis okay. i'm also not SO smart. assuming you forgot to type in the not in the title. which would prove the point.

  2. I understand ur feelings (abt the crown)..My crown came out when i was eating chocolate..I had to store the crown carefully in a small container to ensure that it gets safely to the dentist..

  3. Well, that may not have been the best part of your day, but it was the funnies part of mine. LOL!

  4. Y, I'm glad I don't have your life yet but I sure do love getting to read about it!

    Nah, those things happen. This might cheer you up - someone I know actually broke a tooth eating pizza. Does it get weirder than that?

    As for the Potter CD... you would have snapped it in half - on purpose - after watching it. It's that bad. That's bad consolation, but, umm, does it help any?

  5. Merry Christmas to all of you...

    Well, dentists aren't too bad... this too shalst pass.

    There is a great pirated DVD shop in Colaba causeway.. if you believe in piracy! DVDs for 40bucks each... i swear!

    Have you read Ogden Nash?

    - Cuckoo

  6. Y, sometimes things dont go your way... One wonders why all bad stuff are happening in quick succession.. But lets hope, everything passes and you have a fresh start this New Year...
    And its really cool that you are able to write about all this and making me laugh, when all I would have been is Ms. Grumpy (if I were in your shoes)...
    Merry Christmas!!

    - PR

  7. Mona: Hah! I believe I am way above average smartness levels. Of course, this makes me fear for the future of the human race, but that's a separate matter.

    Timepass: As long as the 'small container' was not your stomach, it's okay. I worry about swallowing my crown a lot.

    Ro: How nice that you are having fun!

    Suki: Thanks for the heads up - actually I just watched the DVD that Vijay kindly bought for me - was definitely not as good as the previous ones.

    Cuckoo: Thanks for the tip - yes I remember a poem by Ogden about a's just that I've never felt the same way about him ever since reading his 'poem' for babies - 'A little talcum is always walcum'. WTF?

    PR: Thanks for the kind words and Merry Christmas to you too! :-)

  8. My temp crown fell off because I nibbled on some cashews and almonds one day after it was done. I had to go back and get it done again and I just told the dentist that I really didn't know why the temp crown fell off. He must have thought he didn't do a good job. Yes Y this sort of stuff happens to everyone!!!

  9. Poor you. Maybe such devastation only happens to smart people(:
    Methinks Ogden Nash wrote way before Huggies came on the scene. I, as a bona fide dinosaur, certainly love him and quote him whenever possible.
    Hope your teeth, crowns, flies and assorted other problem areas behave themselves in future.

  10. Having your fly open in public is the pits. No actually, having someone else point is out to you is even worse. I feel your pain.

  11. Yadu: Thank you!

    Dipali: Huggies? Eh? Oh, that. Well, yes, he was quite funny, no doubt. Must look him up again. I think I bought a book of his poems some time back too, actually. Let's see.

    Megha: Yesss, having your fly open, someone pointing it out to you is bad - but with your ears deafened from squalling child, crown on the verge of falling out, honking traffic,etc. - all this just adds to the beauty of that moment.

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  13. ryc: haha :)
    'tis true, the best of us have some really bad weeks.
    sigh, this means i'm back to being the only NOT SO smart one. and here i was thinking, yay, company!

  14. awwww poor Y, why do these things always happen to you?

    but as always, i loved reading abt it...

  15. I like the fact that you are responding to comments again :)

  16. actually these kind of things happen to my best friends and to the love of my life...(both are different individuls btw) my best friend and i were shopping in bandra, then south bombay..and later,as we were reaching home, I saw that her fly was undone..which means, she was shopping around the whole day with her fly was a beautiful moment for her...

  17. Yikes, sounds like one of my recurring nightmares (seriously!). At least you got through the moment unscathed. For the most part, that is. ;)

  18. That VCD thing? I'd like to say V and I've 'been there' but the truth is closer to 'are there' once or twice each day. Nowadays he just gives me a look and stalks away.

  19. Funny!. I really like the way you can make light of such situations.
    And let me tell you, I do such funny mistakes all the time too.
    Wish I could chronicle them so well too :)

  20. The lost_poet says to tell you that You. Are. A. Riot. And that he hopes his girlfriend NEVER wakes him up to ask him to glue a cd together!

    He adds that since you're female, being unzipped should not be such a big deal. lol. I disagree with him, though.

    Oh, and the Ogden Nash poem is called "This is going to hurt just a little bit". We had it in Class 9 or 10, I think. :D .

  21. oh no - we are all so smart. we just dont blog abt it to have others rub our face in it!

    the tooth thing - pregnancy is the root cause of it all. mum broke the crown chewing a boiled egg. its all the calcium the babies drain out of us.


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