Sunday, December 9, 2007

How to answer the 'Do I look FAT' question

Drawing room conversation between husband and wife:

Y: ... and I don't think this whole workout thing is working for me, because ( blah blah etc etc)
V: (Nodding along, while watching cricket on the TV out of the corner of his eyes) Uh-huh, uh-huh...
Y: (snapping) You're not listening to me, are you?
V: (suddenly attentive) Of course I am. I am, I am.
Y: You don't even care that I've become fat in the process of making YOUR child!
V: Of course I do, honey.
Y: Aha! So you do care that I look fat? So that means you do think I look fat? Is that all you care about?
V: (Starts making strange buzzing sound, avoiding eye contact, shaking his head side to side) Bzzzzzzzzzzzzz.........
Y: WHAT are you doing now?
V: (Closes eyes, still shaking head) Bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.........
Y: Are you serious? You're trying to create your own white noise to tune me out and avoid this conversation?
V: (Eyes closed, oblivious) Bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.........

(Until I get tired, give up and leave the room)


  1. Hmmm. A topic well left alone, I see!

  2. :D This is the wise response, the book of intelligent responses to womankind says you can never EVER say the right thing to answer that question :D Vijay is real smart!

  3. lol! man, i wish i have as entertaining a marriage as you two do! lol!

  4. You know here are quite a few husbands and beaus out're putting ideas into their heads! Sheesh!

  5. hehee..that's MEN for you!??!! and yeah I love your blog, its funny and great to read. And Peanut is the cutest!!

    - childwoman

  6. Gawd, Y, you and Vijay are priceless! Now here's what I'd do if I were you.

    I'd open my archives, read all those posts all over again. Spend 15 minutes laughing at each one. Do that every day: - better than any workout for the stomach muscles :D

  7. Dipali: Indeed! But slightly drastic methodology, no?

    Unpredictable: Yeah, he's a genius, my man.

    Still Searching: Entertaining for the witnesses! But yes, he's quite the clown.

    Meirz: Bzzzzzzzzzz!

    Childwoman: Will be dropping by in a bit. There is no '@' in your website address, kept trying to open it and gmail kept trying to email you.

    Suki: Okay, young lady. And have you done that tag yet? Coming by to check now...

  8. Y'know, this husband of yours is smart...

  9. oh sorry about that....its


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