Tuesday, July 24, 2007

Yay! It's Judgment Day!

There has been a bit of a discussion around a 'Judgmental Tag' recently - well, alright, it's a bit old now, but still - I found it on the Mad Momma's. Since she said she 'tags everybody' and since, when I last checked, I was included in the list of 'everybody', I have decided to take it up very diligently.

Hmm. So, Whom do I judge? Oh, yes...

* I judge people who not only are fussed about saying things like 'Whom do I judge' instead of 'Who do I judge', but also painstakingly correct other people for little things like this. Bloody Painful Nitpickers. ( Aah...and yet...and so very me!)

*I judge Aishwarya Rai for having a small head like a pin, and for choosing to jerk it freakishly back and forth like a stricken zombie puppet on steroids, while prancing around to a sickeningly sweet and cheery song like 'Barso Re, Megha Megha..'- and I judge whoever choreographed and directed that song for inflicting it upon me.

*I judge the marketers and advertising agencies who unleash their idiocy on the innocent, unsuspecting public. Just one little example - the slogan for Jobstreet.com is 'Real companies. Real Jobs.' Ummm, sure thing! As oppposed to the imaginary companies and imaginary jobs offered by other job search sites?

*I judge Himesh Reshammiya, Annu Malik and Bappi Lahiri. For what? Don't make me laugh.

*I judge those old acquaintances who send me 'friend requests' on Orkut- but do not send a single scrap of greeting. Yes, it's been ten years...yes, I think I do remember you...But why are you just trying to increase your 'friend' list without establishing any real contact?...and even after I accept your request, there is no further word from you. Sheesh! Social networking, pah.

*I judge the people who gleefully give away the end to movies and books, to spoil other people's fun. Such as those who stood outside theatres yelling 'Kajol is the murderer' after whatever that movie was ( I never saw that movie, never planned to, never will, but that's not the point). These people are just scumbag losers without lives, dripping their evil slime all over the place.

*Finally, and most importantly - I judge anybody who tries to sing Bohemian Rhapsody in public. Give it up! You can't do it! You sound like an idiot! Period. (You may do this in the privacy of your own bathroom, however - I often do).

Wow, a leetle more vitriol than I thought I would come up with. Ooh, ooh...reminds me - should go read HP 7 now before some lunatic gives the end away.

I tag Shome and Ganju with this. Go on, let's hear it, then! And remember- you don't have to take it as seriously as I have (Wink, wink, smile - Oh, I forgot to mention I judge those who overuse smileys outside of SMS and chat...dammit!)


  1. re Bohemian Rhapsody...yeah
    Realized that the hard way...
    sang it in front of my mum once!!! Can still visualize her horror stricken face when I croaked the part about poor boy whom nobody loves and who's just killed a man!

    Meera bhajan are safer!!!mom-friendly lyrics n easy to sing , me thinks

    Mama mia,mama mia,mama mia let me go

  2. I totally agree with the orkut thing, and def agree with judging people who give away the suspense at the end of a story! Totally hate such a@@es!

  3. True. True. To the songlist of Aishwarya Rai's freakish jerking movements (head only! head only!) you can also add "Crazy kiya re", the Dhoom song. Her head bounces like crazy... maybe that's what the song is about.

    Rock on, Y. Write a book.

  4. Er... the Bohemian Rhapsody one - been there, done that. And in my defence, I was very drunk! And it was Shome's idea (yes! we tried to sing it as a duet)

  5. errr..not enough vtirol. you let me down :p

  6. Ha ha ha. I didnt know you had such a good sense of humour. I guess it all the effect of being a non-marketeer for the time being.

  7. Emgi,Rohini - (Gasp) Shame, shame! Rohini, please do not blame either drunkenness or Shomeness for this lapse.Just try and feel 'real remorse'!

    Still Searching, Stuti- exactly!

    Mad Momma - be like that and :-P yourself!

    Rahul - thank you. Is that like, Rahul Sachdev, my dear agency man, by any chance?

  8. oh wow! what an honour!! have i really been tagged. i feel so special! bah to you - duh duh!

    anyway - i have decided to un-tag myself here. my blog is too tight-arsed to deal with tags at the moment! so what do i judge, who do i judge ... where do i begin?

    - i judge the evil corporations of the world who destroy people and places in their wake - just to make a buck. bah to you i say!
    - i judge governments that fall prey to manipulation of evil corporations and governments that think that the middle east is a play station and "war" is the newest game.
    - i judge men who don't wash their hands after peeing. not only do i judge them i never go within 20 feet of them.
    - i judge fair-weather cricket fans who love the indian cricket team when we're winning but hate the players when we start to lose.
    - i judge people who use words like "wanna" and "frenz" - in general i judge people who are keen to forget where they come from.
    - i judge all of south india for not being able to make a dosa as yummy as sagar in delhi!
    - oh and i judge yellow daal for being so boring.

    i could go on forever - but i think i'll stop now!

    PS: i also judge people who tag me on their blogs. the implicit assumption is that i have nothing better to do with my life, and i hate the fact that they're right.


Hi there. Go on, say it. Well? WELL?