After the last post, wherein I heard about how 'sporting' and 'wonderful' my husband is to let me make fun of him like that (hey, I was going for an 'artistic representation of real life', but whatever!), I thought this should help even things out a bit - and to demonstrate how he is not exactly a complete angel.
See, some people can sing...some people can dance...and my husband has his own extremely unique talent.
Vijay is a song-ruiner.
He can take any song - usually a song that you really like, constantly in your head and on your lips - and twist the lyrics spontaneously into something completely unrelated and ridiculous - so that you can never think of it in the same way again.
He will do this without warning, right out of the blue, any time, any place - though I have noticed a tendency on his part to do this mostly when driving. While deftly avoiding an oncoming truck, he will suddenly burst into tuneless song - and after a few seconds, when the dust settles and I've recovered my nerves, it will register with me that the sung lyrics had come out all twisted.
Today, we were driving home together, and I heard his version of 'Masti Ki Patshaala' from Rang De Basanti - and that's the death of that song for me. Sample:
'...Na Koi... Naada Daala...
...Na Koi...Kheenchne Waala...
...Apna to Pai-jama...
...'Lashtic ka Pai-jama...
...Apna to Pai-jama...
...'Lashtic ka Pai-jama...'
Yes, I know. It's not even remotely funny. But that is precisely my point.
I quite liked that song, and I can now never hear it again without imagining Vijay, prancing about in his gangly manner, defying his enemies to pull down his pyjamas, all the while triumphantly snapping on the tight new elastic waistband. (Clarificatory note: this is an imaginary scene - it has never happened - at least, not to my knowledge - and not yet, anyway).
I could give you more examples, but I will spare you the torture. The simple point is this:
There comes a time in every woman's life, when she discovers her significant other has a talent like this, buried deep within. At these times, it is vital for her to serve humanity by encouraging him to bury it a little deeper. It is my sincere hope this post helps achieve that in some small way.
P.S - Vijay just caught me about to post this - but after the last post, he seems beyond caring what I put on my blog about him. Being extremely fair-minded, I encouraged him to start his own blog to retaliate. He informed me, with a rather evil grin, that he is only waiting for me to go into labour -so that he can 'start his blog with a bang...and a supremely interesting video post'. This may, therefore, be the last you hear about Vijay for some time from me. Also, the word 'Help?' comes to mind.