There's this one cycle shop just five minutes from my home. Last year, on my birthday, my husband convinced me to buy this one pink-cycle-with-a-basket which I blew thousands on, and have used exactly four times so far.
So today, I'm pretty sure the guy saw me coming from miles away. The cash registers would have started ringing in his head as soon as my head bobbed into view. Because I don't shop often, but when I do, I go so way overboard that you wouldn't believe I'm actually an unwilling shopper.
Let me start at the beginning.
Peanut, Pickle and Papad have several cycles of varying sizes. There are six in total - but all of them very kiddy-type. Except for one cycle which is Peanut's that reasonably grown up, despite its training wheels. This naturally is the most coveted cycle in our home and there is never a moment's peace about this.
Rinki, my maid, remarks how Peanut never gets to ride that cycle when they take it to the park, and how the twins also keep fighting over it. So I had the bright idea of buying cycles for the twins. I told Peanut that the twins would now get their own 'big boy' cycles so that she could get to ride hers.
Great, she said, and wanted to come along for the shopping for the Bruddas.
On the way, however, as I should have anticipated, she decided that she was the one who needed a 'bigger' cycle because this one was for a 'Four-year-old' only and she's now 'Five-plus.'
Yeah, right, Peanut. Shut up and help me select cycles for your brothers as promised.
Twenty minutes later, we were heading home with a new Big-girl Pink cycle with Basket and Bell for Peanut. The puppy dog eyes, coupled with the fact that she's been sick, were all too much for me to resist.
Then I had another idea. Clearly, Peanut's old cycle was now going to be given to one of the twins. Which meant only that I had to buy another identical cycle to that old cycle and we would be fine. Except that I knew that I was kidding myself because there was no other such cycle that I had spotted in the shop. However, I decided I was going to buy just one more cycle and the twins would just have to learn to share or fight it out.
I reached home and while Peanut played with her new cycle, called up Rinki, who was in the park with the twins and my other maid, Kajal.
'Rinki, bring Pickle home' I instructed. 'Only Pickle.' I figured I needed only twin for size - they're identical after all.
She came home with Pickle, but as we were heading for the car, Pickle all excited at the prospect of a new Bye-cycle, who should come toddling up with Kajal but young Papad, who as Kajal put it ''had overheard Rinki on the phone'' and also wanted to go shopping. Irritated, I bunged both the twins and Kajal into the car and headed back to the cycle shop.
I told them on the way categorically that we would be buying only ONE cycle and sharing it.
Forty minutes later, we were heading home with one spankin' new red cycle with basket and bell and one spankin' new orange cycle with basket and bell. Unfortunately, they didn't have two cycles of the correct size in the same colour. Initially there was a scrap because both the twins wanted the orange bike, and then both of them wanted the red bike - eventually Pickle settled for Orange and Papad for Red.
So I ended up spending heaps of money, but at least I figured, there would now be Peace At Home.
P.S - The last hour was spent in punishing Pickle for pushing over his Orange cycle in a fit of anger, since he decided that he really wanted the Red cycle after all. And currently, he is screaming the roof down because his action of pushing his cycle over loosened the bell and he therefore now hates it beyond all reasonable measure. So here we go again. Back to square one - or you might say, we've cycled around right to the very beginning .
P.P.S - I hate cycles. Passionately.