My husband realises at the last minute ( as usual) that he has very limited time to submit some bank documents at the office. So he calls up the bank and requests the Call Center representative for the same.
Vijay: ...so that will be the Interest Certificate along with the Repayment schedule. Right?
CC lady: Yes, Sir. You will receive the Interest Certificate within 2 days and the Repayment Schedule within 15 working days...
Vijay (shocked): Hang on, Hang on...I have only five days left to submit everything. Why will I get the Repayment schedule within 15 days?
CC Lady: Sir, actually that's our system.
Vijay: What's your system?
CC Lady: The Interest Certificate will be sent by Courier and the Repayment schedule by regular post.
Vijay: But why?
CC Lady: Usually, people require Interest certificate more quickly, so that's our system sir.
Vijay: But...but...I need them both at the same time.
CC Lady: Sorry sir, but I can't help you. That's our...
Vijay: System, system, I know. (Inspired) But tell me. Can't you just send both documents to me by courier?
CC Lady: No sir. That is not something we can do.
Vijay: Listen . Do they come from separate sources or something?
CC Lady: No, sir. They are both taken out at same time from the computer.
Vijay (slowly): So you're telling me the guy who takes the printouts will put them into separate envelopes for despatch through two separate sources?
CC Lady (pleased that he's finally getting it): Exactly sir.
Vijay (taking a deep breath): So why can't he just put them in the same envelope?
CC Lady: That would not be possible, sir. It's the system.
Vijay (trying to turn on the charm): Look Madam. Can't it just be something between you and me? As an exception - you just tell that dude to put the Repayment schedule into the same envelope with the Interest Certificate and send both by courier?
CC Lady (aghast): No, sir.
Vijay (getting desperate): No one else has to know! And if he likes, he can quietly send me an empty envelope through regular post also....dheere dheere woh bhi pahuch jaayega...
(Ad infinitum. In short: I really don't know who to feel more sorry for when I hear Vijay speaking to customer care representatives).