Monday, November 19, 2007

I'm Fighting A Losing Battle

Night-time

Y: ‘Vijay, please give me my shorts – I was going to wear those to sleep’
V: ‘These are MY shorts, you know’
Y: ‘Don’t argue – you know none of my shorts fit me anymore – gimme!’
V: (ignoring me,in sing-song voice to Peanut) ‘Bitiyaaa… Mama is talking to you – she wants to wear your diaper…give it to her’
Y: ‘ Listen, please don’t be silly….just give me my diaper now, okay?…DAMMIT’

Household chores

Y: ‘Vijay, why have you got the electrician to put lights that are not matching in the drawing room?’
V: ‘Arrey! I wanted it to be in line with our theme’
Y: ‘Oh? And what is our theme?’
V: ‘Lights…that… do not match’

Just Lounging around

Y: ‘Vijay, what is the origin of the word Beishak…Be-ishak? Without ishak?’
V: ‘No…the word is Be-shak…as in, without a doubt’
Y:‘Are you sure? I always thought it was Be-ishak’
V: ‘No…Be-shak.. ‘Be’ means ‘without’…on the other hand, Ba-kaida means ‘According to the kaida, or law…or ‘as a matter of course’…or ‘of course’…and Berozgaar is ‘without a living’…got it?
Y: ‘Got it!’
V: ‘Good. Then don’t ask me if Bekaar is ‘without a car’.

Calling the doctor

Y: ‘Vijay, give me the paediatrician’s details’
V: ‘Here, it’s written here’
Y: ‘Eh? Are you sure that’s his name?’
V: ‘That’s what our doc wrote’
Y: ‘Ok, fine…(dialling)…Hello? May I speak to Dr. Ugli please?’
(Silence)
Doctor’s wife in annoyed tone: ‘I think you mean Dr. Ugre, don’t you?’
Y: ‘ Ummm…sure…that’s what I said…sorry…I’ll call back later!...VIJAY!’

Taking care of baby

Y: ‘Vijay, please cut Peanut’s nails now’
V: ‘No way! We should do it only when she is sleeping’
Y:‘Yaar…listen…I’ve tried that before…and she wakes up, so there’s no point’
V: ‘Then we will try again later’
Y: ‘Arrey, but if she wakes up every time we try, and we are to do it only when she’s sleeping, then when will we ever cut her nails?’
V:‘Never!’
Y:‘ Vijay, please don’t be silly. Just cut them’
V: ‘Yes, Matron!’

Dinner conversation

Y: ‘Did you notice the entire place is sparkling clean and all the books are sorted?’
V: ‘Yes, I did…you’ve changed so much, honey’ (Y beams proudly as the K comes in)
K (mournfully) Raita to kharaab ho gaya, microwave mein…
V ( in total disbelief): Microwave mein? Raita kaun garam karta hai microwave mein?
Y (shamefacedly interrupts) Actually, I asked her to do it
V: WHY?
Y: Because it was frozen.
(Pause)
V: And why did you freeze the raita?
Y: It was room temperature…I like raita cold…so I thought I would put it in for two minutes and then forgot…
(Silence)
Y: So I guess I haven’t changed that much, huh?

Pleading for internet

Y: I need internet…I want internet…
V: Hmmm….ho jayega, honey.
Y: Tumhe nahin pata…mujhe bahut jod se blog karna hai
V: Logon ko ‘Bahut Jod Se’ susu karna hota hai…par tumhe blog karna hai ‘bahut jod se’…sahi jaa rahe ho…

16 comments:

  1. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha...

    That's all I can say for now. Will ocme back when the fit of laughter subsides...

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  2. :giggle:
    :snort:
    :full-scale explosion of guffaws!:

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  3. ....diabolical laughter...ending in me rolling on the floor...

    No offence Y, but V rules...kya chance pe dance karte hain...tell me honestly, do you guys plan such conversations or it comes naturally (Be - Kaar...too too much)???

    Im sure peanut will be thinking to herself (if not saying it...) "My parents are the coolest"...hope more dialogues are to follow.

    ...followed by another series of uncontrollable laughter....ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!!

    Saurabh

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  4. hahahaha!! But btw, ahem, it's "bahut joR se", not "bahut jod se"... hmmmm, your hindi is tops Y, BEISHAK!!!

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  5. hahahahahahaahhah.... dr.ugli....hahhaa.... you ppl have got a very good sense of humour. "made for each other " couple :)

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  6. Y, your hindi has improved dramatically

    :p

    Peanut pictures!!! I'm not letting Vijay (hilarious though he may be) sideline MY baby!!!

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  7. jod?arre,its zor!! Bbay jaate hi Hindi ki vaat laga di?

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  8. *guffaws*
    be-kaar!!!!
    V is too funny!

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  9. Hahahaha! I was laughing through the entire post! Simply hilarious conversations you guys have! :D

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  10. Seriously, you can create a highly entertaining sitcom out of your daily conversations...

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  11. LOL! This is why I think you'll do great with this tag.

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  12. That's hilarious. Dr. Ugli? OMG, I wonder what the expression was on the doc's wife's face :) (or yours!)

    Surfed in from the mad momma's and enjoyed reading a few of your posts.

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  13. LOLL!!!! I think calling the doctor took the cake. The man is smooooth!

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