Wednesday, September 5, 2007

What's Your Quirk? Get to Work!

This one is for all those of us who saw the movie 'As Good as it Gets' and said, of Jack Nicholson's many strange quirks - 'Hey, I do that...or something like it'.

Which means basically everyone.

Yep. This is a Tag. And you're IT.Hah! I trapped you! Now, go and reveal the manifestations of your obsessive compulsive disorder on your blog. A minimum of 5 are required. Go on then, get moving. Oh wait, read mine first.

1. I am obsessed with the numbers seven and fourteen. I do my exercises in sets of 7 or 14, for example. In fact, though the steps leading upto my home in Delhi are 6 and 13 in number, I shuffle my feet one extra time to get to my magic numbers. Every time. It started when I was a kid but now it's done subconsciously. I am realizing as I type this that I am sounding like a psycho. Oh well... let us plod on.

2. After the Mango, it is the Grape which is my favourite fruit. Wait, that's not the OCD part... wait for it, will ya? The OCD part is that I have to eat the grape in a particular way to extract maximum enjoyment from it. One bunch of grapes - the delicious green ones, not the odious black ones (and don't even get me started on the ones with bloody seeds) - is taken and each of the grapes is bitten painstakingly in half. And it is only once all the grapes are bitten through in half, that I can eye with great satisfaction my bunch of pretty green half-grapes, and then move on to relishing the remaining halves. Obviously, if you ever meet me, none of you are going offer me grapes at your homes. Sigh. It's just as well, I suppose.

3. When I need to concentrate, I have to pluck thoughtfully at my eyebrow and make a strange sort of pouty fish-lip face. It is impossible for me to type or read or write without this. I caught my sister doing the fish-lip face and realized it runs in the family. I also then realized how incredibly weird it looks. But I'm too old to change now. I really don't know if this qualifies as part of the OCD but I'm on a roll here, so don't stop me.

4. I'm obsessively editorial. I do not claim to be grammatically correct all the time, but obvious glaring errors really bug me. This is an issue in the blogging world where people are just dumping their thoughts in their own space. I have to resist the urge to correct spelling mistakes or point out that their sentences are missing specific words.(I have been an editor for school and college magazines but that's just a poor excuse for being slightly tight-arsed about this) . Still, it just wouldn't do in the comments section to say 'Hi! I really loved your post. You write wonderfully. But could you please edit your post to include a 'The' in the fourth sentence of paragraph two? Thank you.'

A note to all the wise-asses reading this- please don't make a similar comment on this post. It's predictable and not funny. Yes, that means you, Ganju. Anyway, moving on.

5. I am obsessed with trying to cut people's hair. If you have even reasonably nice, dandruff-free hair, I want to cut it. This is not a fetish. I just want to cut hair. I like the snip-snip sound and the hair pile on the floor getting larger...never mind.

Years back, Vijay let me cut his hair to show he loved and trusted me. He has nice soft, smooth hair. I cut it happily. I decided to give him steps in the back. There were 5 steps, not very even, but it felt nice to him when he touched it. He couldn't see it and I knew it looked ghastly but it was only my first attempt. However, after his friend told him 'Lagta hai billi ne noch-noch ke baal nikaale hai', and he spent the next day in office holding his hand over the back of his head, he refused to let me ever cut it again. No one lets me cut their hair so I have to cut mine sometimes. The result is not good. Selfish people, all of you.

(Poor Peanut has a full head of black hair. Here comes Mama!)

6. I cannot, cannot, CANNOT STAND being patted or otherwise touched on the head. Unless I am bending to touch your feet because you are my in-laws, or you are giving me a massage, or a haircut - stay away from touching my head. In school and college, where one is subject to the occasional company of a few immature morons, this used to be a problem. Thankfully, no one has come upto me at work in the last 5 years and touched me on the head. It would have been very difficult to explain to higher authorities why I had bitten off a colleague's fingers.

That's it! There are actually many more but I'll stop here - before the really weird stuff comes to the surface. Wouldn't want you thinking I'm totally nuts.

So go on, then. Call them fetishes, quirks, 'adorable traits', whatever - go and list them NOW.

I tag, in particular:

Ganju ( yes, yes, I know your blog is too tight-arsed for it, just do it in the comments section here)
Shome ( can you please post something to go with your jazzy new template)
Mad Momma (no, this is NOT the revenge tag)
Moppet's Mom

I would tag a couple of more people but that would be more than seven, and I'm too tired to get up to fourteen just now.

But whoever reads this - consider yourself tagged. Don't try and sneak off quietly without fulfilling it. Whoever does that is a rotten egg! Nyah nyah!

Edited to add: Goshdarnit, Dagnabit, Bloody Hell, *%&# and $^&%*!# !!! I just realized I did only SIX quirks for myself...this is going to kill me....yaaaaaaarrrrghhhhhhh....


  1. hahahaha - all right fine, i will spare you from any corrections, largely because i didn't spot any mistakes :) as for my 'tight-arsed' blog, do you realise that you have used the phrase 'tight-arse' twice in this blog of your's and you have stolen it from meeeeee!

    and finally, am actually thinking about taking this tag on - but will do so later - either here or on my blog. but i'm struggling. you see i'm so 'well adjusted' i'm not sure i have any quirks :)

  2. "Ummm... can I get back to you on this one?"

    Got a post or two planned before this. :)

  3. And you used only FIVE swear words - ok SIX if you count bloody hell as two words. Methinks your 7 or 14 quirk is a fake! :-p

    The editorial quirk I can believe - because I'm like that too. Am off today for a short vacation - back next week and then will get to work on the quirks.

  4. you think your grape quirk is weird, mine's weirder. i have to, i mean HAVE to, peel the grape first, then bite in half, get the seeds out and then, mmmmm.
    yeah, and i can't stand to patted on the head either, or my hair touched. i HATE it.
    haha, gotta tell you though, the worst OCD thing i have has to do with candies that come in little packets. i can't stand to just tear them open, no, i have to use scissors to make a neat diagonal cut and then, sort by colors before i eat them. this includes smarties, skittles and m&ms.

  5. All possible work neglected and tag completed. Thanks for putting me way behind schedule:)Any excuse for not doing the housework!

  6. why would a charming young lady like you be vengeful? does not suit you at all :p will do. am way behind on all the tags and also going on vacation tomorrow. so even if i'm a little late, fear thee not fair maiden - i shall deliver

  7. hahaha... I love green seedless grapes best too, and I too eat it in a particular way (although not like yours)

    I'm also obsessively editorial, and that comes from having been an editor in a past life :)

    Came to your blog from Sue (Sunayana Roy, also discovered only today). Love the humour. Going to read your back posts now.

  8. haha
    well...I decided not to be a rotton egg [:D]
    though it took me these many days to come up with 5 quirks( am I a gem or what:P)

  9. hehe liked this post....

    i might do it blog has been long dead!

    i so agree with u on the grammar stuff and wanting to tell people to correct some errors :)

  10. hmm.. would my tendency to go back to "1" after every "16" while counting count as a quirk? Too used to "teentaal" I reckon!


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