Y (Wearily) We need to bathe and massage Peanut properly this evening. She may sleep for a few hours at night then.
Vijay: Sure! I'll do it!
Y: WE will do it. But this time, I think we should reverse the order. We should bathe her first and then massage her. It will help her sleep better.
Vijay: (Scoffing sounds) Why? That's not how we do it.
Y: And who is this 'we'?
Vijay: Uhhh...it just doesn't make sense. See, first we should massage her, then we clean off the oil with a sponge bath.
Y: But I've checked -it says everywhere I've read that we should be massaging her after the bath.
Vijay (challengingly): Where have you read this?
Y (soft voice): On the Johnson's Baby Oil bottle ...(louder voice) but I'm sure I read it elsewhere too. Anyway, it makes sense, doesn't it? A bath is invigorating, a massage is relaxing...so we massage her later.
Vijay (argumentative tone): But I always feel sleepy after a bath.
Y: What's wrong with you? Don't you bathe in the morning to get fresh?
Vijay (sagaciously): Bathing makes you only momentarily fresh. I am always sleepy by 11 a.m. in office.
Y (Withering look): Hmmm. Don't be so silly, please.
As always, Only momentary)
Vijay (Having thought about it for a bit) Look here, Y. Water makes you tired. After all, don't you feel tired after a swim?
Y (now losing it): Stop. Are you really going to equate a half hour swim with a 5 minute sponge bath?
(Vijay retreats while Y prepares the bath and massage material, both in a sullen mood. A few moments later, Vijay re-enters the battlefield with gusto, playing his final trump card)
Vijay ( Spits out, in his 'I'm the man of this house' voice): I want one more baby!
Y (Stares dumbfoundedly, cannot get any words out): ...
Vijay: And I will do whatever I want, my way, with that one. Come on, then!
(And for once, the husband has the last word. What can you possibly say to a man like this?)
This is Peanut about to be sponged. She looks most bemused while her father sings, as untunefully and loudly as ever:
'Har Har Gange...
Pandit Ji, Nange...'