Friday, August 10, 2007

Baths, Massages and Arguments

Y (Wearily) We need to bathe and massage Peanut properly this evening. She may sleep for a few hours at night then.

Vijay: Sure! I'll do it!

Y: WE will do it. But this time, I think we should reverse the order. We should bathe her first and then massage her. It will help her sleep better.

Vijay: (Scoffing sounds) Why? That's not how we do it.

Y: And who is this 'we'?

Vijay: Uhhh...it just doesn't make sense. See, first we should massage her, then we clean off the oil with a sponge bath.

Y: But I've checked -it says everywhere I've read that we should be massaging her after the bath.

Vijay (challengingly): Where have you read this?

Y (soft voice): On the Johnson's Baby Oil bottle ...(louder voice) but I'm sure I read it elsewhere too. Anyway, it makes sense, doesn't it? A bath is invigorating, a massage is relaxing...so we massage her later.

Vijay (argumentative tone): But I always feel sleepy after a bath.

Y: What's wrong with you? Don't you bathe in the morning to get fresh?

Vijay (sagaciously): Bathing makes you only momentarily fresh. I am always sleepy by 11 a.m. in office.

Y (Withering look): Hmmm. Don't be so silly, please.

(Silence.

As always, Only momentary)

Vijay (Having thought about it for a bit) Look here, Y. Water makes you tired. After all, don't you feel tired after a swim?

Y (now losing it): Stop. Are you really going to equate a half hour swim with a 5 minute sponge bath?

(Vijay retreats while Y prepares the bath and massage material, both in a sullen mood. A few moments later, Vijay re-enters the battlefield with gusto, playing his final trump card)

Vijay ( Spits out, in his 'I'm the man of this house' voice): I want one more baby!

Y (Stares dumbfoundedly, cannot get any words out): ...

Vijay: And I will do whatever I want, my way, with that one. Come on, then!

(And for once, the husband has the last word. What can you possibly say to a man like this?)



This is Peanut about to be sponged. She looks most bemused while her father sings, as untunefully and loudly as ever:

'Har Har Gange...

Pandit Ji, Nange...'

9 comments:

  1. The old, old way was to vigorously massage the baby first, kneeding her and twisting and bending her limbs, roast her in the sun for a bit, bring her indoors to cool down a bit and then bathe her.

    Sounds rather like cooking meat, would you say?

    We don't do the sun thing much these days, but I doubt if five minutes of soaking in Vitamin D would do any harm.

    I used to massage them out in the sun, (about 10 minutes) bring them in and bathe them in hottish water.

    Johnson Baby Oil is a good mosturiser for after the bath, so your baby gets another 2-minute (very gentle this time) massage. That really relaxes her.

    But you'll discover what's right for your baby, all on your own, in your own time, so don't worry.

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  2. Another baby? For Dad to handle exclusively?
    Flabber was never so gasted

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  3. We also oiled,sunned, and then bathed the offspring. Used to use baby lotion afterwards, sometimes- not always.
    Evening baths I guess could be followed with a baby lotion massage.
    Such tiny babies usually don't/can't sleep through the night- they are usually hungry or wet or worse at frequent intervals. Just try and sleep whenever Peanut doeszzzzzz.

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  4. hahahaha - most amused at vijay's idea. two parents fighting over how to best raise peanut. she's lucky i guess - even if you are one of the two :)

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  5. oil and massage.. roast in the sun.. then bathe.

    but we bathe our babies at night after a good old massage and then put some lotion and thats when they pass out. so do we.

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  6. Hahaha! I cant get over how Vijay has so many inputs on these little things which, according to old fashioned thinking, are a woman's "domain"! Its too cute and very funny! I love the child division idea! You do what you want with this one, and I do what I want with the other! :) So logical, eh?! :)

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  7. If you want to massage after bath and Peanuts sweats as much after oiling as The Bhablet does, I suggest a baby powder massage. Lotion seems to rub in too fast, and if I put in lots he sweats anyway.

    Powder works very well for a post-bath, pre-bedtime massage.

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  8. Well, two kids and several baths later, massage - bath - feed is the best order for a peaceful nap. Looking forward to seeing you all this evening.

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Hi there. Go on, say it. Well? WELL?