7.30 a.m. - Hotel Alarm rings. Too early. Can sleep for another five minutes. Meeting at 8 somewhere in hotel itself, no problem.
8.00 a.m. - Just re-woke and remember now meeting was to start at 8 and NOT 8.30 a.m. Rush, rush, rush.
8.15 a.m. - All ready! Hair wet, no time to dry but must prioritize breakfast. Dash out of the room, into the lift.
8.17 a.m. - Stupid lift was going up, I had to go down. Dropping random Japanese guys to 44th floor before heading back down to Lobby for breakfast.
8.18 a.m. - Lift unfortunately opens for at floor 3, the meeting floor. Few people waiting. One recognizes me, waves as if to say 'this is the floor, get off'. Quick decision to pretend I don't see, gaze at the top of the lift thoughtfully, and carry on for breakfast at Lobby.
8.20 a.m. - Aah, breakfast. Aah, Coffee.
8.30 a.m. - I am Ready! I am in the Meeting Room! On time! Meeting was predictably late in starting. Give dirty, offended and superior look to those walking in after me.
8.35 a.m. - Agenda is being discussed. Sounds exciting. I am going to be a Part of Something Big. Have been told that this will be a chance to see how decisions get made in Large Global Organisations. Pen poised elegantly (or as elegant as you can be with clammy hands and wet hair) over my notebook, ready to commit anything important to paper. A certain breathless anticipation takes over, which combined with the effect of the coffee and the air conditioning, gives me goose pimples and a certain pleasant buzz in the head. I am READY.
(Fast forward to 4 hours later)
12.35 p.m. - They LIED. They said lunch was at 12.30. It is now five minutes PAST. And that is not the only thing they lied about. They lied about it being Value Adding and Great Learning for me. For the past four hours, everybody has been talking about some technical aspects of the product where I understand nothing, want to understand nothing and have nothing to say. Why am I here? Why? Why? Why?
12.40 p.m. - The conversation has now dwindled down to two people who are arguing about something that nobody else seems to understand. I just heard one guy say something like 'If we use mono-chromatic layer versus bi-chromatic- layer, then there is a depth issue in the template creation and the machine capability issues impact the production timeline of the back labels'
Also, there are fourteen other laptops open with people pretending to furiously take notes, while playing Freecell or Minesweeper or browsing the Internet. Is anybody in this meeting reading my blog right now?
12.45 p.m. - I AM BLOGGING FOR GOD's SAKE!! And NOBODY HAS NOTICED!! I give up. My life is meaningless. It is a meaningless stream of endless meetings. Yaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhh.....