Wednesday, April 30, 2008

It's all about the Numbers

So, I had no idea, absolutely no idea when I wrote this post a few months back- how soon I would hit this landmark - It's my 200th post!

You can't see them all because I've taken off quite a few, but just believe me when I say it's my 200th post. Pretty cool, huh?

The other interesting number game is called 'Y's incredibly boring and unnecessary update on her pregnancy weight gain and post pregnancy weight loss'.

The deal is this:

a. Put on obscene amounts of weight during pregnancy - go from 56 kilos to 80 kilos - 8 kilos higher than recommended by your doctor. Not good.
b. Give birth - and lose 6 kilos in one day. Pretty good.
c. Breastfeed and don't sleep at all - and lose 8 kilos in a mere two months. Very good.
d. Stay at home with your baby, feed and take care of her, obsess about your weight, work out everyday - and don't lose a single gram for seven bloody months. Not so good.
e. Join work but continue to run home to feed the baby - and lose 2 kilos in two weeks. Very, very good. Indeedy.

Yeah. I know I said I wouldn't talk about my weight anymore. I even tried to inspire a revolution, the 'No-talky-about-my-weighty-booty' movement - but barely a couple of you agreed. So really, if you think about it, it is kind of all your fault that I'm back to obsessing. Your fault. As usual.

But yay! 200 posts! Thank you, thank you. You've all been wonderful.

Air kisses, Mwah, Mwah.

Saturday, April 26, 2008

Aaaaaaah! what I say as I settle down at 1 p.m on a Saturday afternoon and begin to write this.

The last ten days have been quite crazy - I joined work after a loooong break and it's taking some getting used to, leaving Peanut behind for hours in the day. The good news is that my work is really interesting and I am working with some very nice people. There isn't any of the politics, political correctness, and very little heirarchy - it's almost like a start-up. The work content itself is a refreshing change from what I've been doing before, and yet, there are enough similarities in the job profile for me not to feel totally out of my depth, despite the fact that there is so much going on.

One big worry on my mind was whether I would have, uhh...'lost my touch' - you know, whether the last few months of being at home would have somehow made me less sharp or just, you know...'out of it', somehow. But as some kind commenter told me a while back, it's like swimming or cycling - you never really forget it, and you just sort of fall back into it. So it's taken me very little time to get into the action and the job - the only thing is that I have so much to read and learn about this new field -which incidentally, if you're interested, has involved a shift from FMCG to the online world - and I just don't seem to get enough time to do it at all.

Of course ,a bigger worry on my mind was the question of whether I was ready to go back to work. The last few days have told me that I'm definitely happier going to work - I just am not cut out for staying at home. Sure, if I could get a chance to do what I do from home, that would be great - but the line of work I'm in, that's not really a possibility, apart from the odd day here and there. I do miss seeing Peanut, but the good thing is that I get to go home and feed her during lunch - so even though it's rather hectic for me, I am assured that she is okay and happy, and get to snatch a few moments with her - coming as it does in the middle of a hectic workday, it's a welcome break and puts things in perspective nicely.

And as for the biggest worry, which was about how Peanut herself will manage - I think she's actually quite okay. The first day that I left in the morning at about 9 a.m. - after rushing through the unfamiliar process of getting ready for work and feeding her - she watched me leave without much emotion - I guess she didn't really know what was happening. I was a bit tense that day and came back at lunchtime - I saw that she was playing quite happily until the time that she saw me, when she promptly burst into plaintive tears. I fed her and played with her for a bit while having my own lunch - the overall process took me about 40 minutes, and then it was time for me to go again - but this time she started wailing as she watched me walk out the door. I came back to hug and kiss her and told her I'd be back again in a few hours, but she continued to cry because I didn't take her from the K into my own arms. I left, resisting the urge to turn back, having read that it just becomes harder if this goodbye scene is prolonged.

So, surely enough, she seems to be doing fine. I am told that she is actually fine while I'm not around - eating, playing, sleeping. I am lucky to have the K - at least I know that she loves the baby and looks after her very carefully. But I do think it's necessary for the baby to have other people around through the day because Peanut is a fairly social kid (once the faces around her become familiar) - and that may start happening in a month or so when we move out of my mom's place ( where we are getting quite spoiled because it is so comfortable). I hope to be able to leave the baby and the K with close relatives who live near the area we are looking at, and are at home through the day - unlike my hard working mother and sister and husband, who come home way after I do. Let's see how it all pans out.

So my routine has been a little crazy and more than a little tiring. Wake up at 6.30 a.m., have tea with the husband and the baby in the garden, usually go for a jog in the nearby park, and then rush through getting ready, eat breakfast , feed the baby and leave, usually forgetting something or the other in the house. Get to work by 9.30 a.m., wait impatiently for the lift to the 10th floor, occasionally get annoyed and just walk upstairs, nearly collapsing and resolving never to do it again and admiring my boss for doing it everday ( a lady who has been through childbirth multiple times - and looks very good, very fit and much younger than her actual age). I get into my workspace and dive right into things. At around 1 p.m., I'm off home and back usually by 2.30 p.m. - of course, I've discovered that the people in my office rarely take a lunch break, preferring working lunches or just eating at their desks - but even though my 'break' is quite hectic (because I have to get down the stairs, go home, feed a rather uncooperative Peanut who is excited to have me back and too distracted by the buttons on my shirt to feed properly, have my own lunch a little too quickly, come back and get back up those damn stairs) - It's quite useful to get out of the office for a chance to clear my head.

By the time I get back to work, the sleeplessness of the previous night (yep, Peanut is still waking up for night feeds) and the resultant tiredness starts to creep in, but I manage to hold it at bay for a while with a cup of tea or coffee. Working for another four hours or so, I then pack up quickly and leave, usually forgetting something or the other at my desk.

It's 7 p.m. by the time I get back. By this point, it seems Peanut begins to get quite fidgety and gets disappointed if someone else rings the bell and walks through the door. I get back and she's suddenly all smiles, and gets a really smug look as I take her in my arms at the door and walk around the house. She is really clingy with me nowadays, expressing a clear preference for my company and getting very upset when I leave the room. It's really hard to explain to a 9 month old in diapers, the concept of 'bathroom break'.

I went to our Delhi Paediatrician today in order get Peanut her measles shot, and was pleasantly surprised to see that unlike a few months go, he actually remembered that she is a baby girl. He asked about my routine in terms of feeding her and seemed to think that I need to make some changes, which I actually agree with but am not sure how to implement. Basically I feed her at 9 a.m., which should ideally be breakfast time with some solid food like cereal - and then I get back at 1 p.m. to feed her, which is actually lunchtime for her (and all the rest of us!) and should be something like khichdi. Hmmm. Will have to figure this one out. He was of the opinion that it's time to start giving her the food that we eat in the house, with spices adequately lessened. He also said that we should be putting her to bed at 8.30 p.m., at which point I could not stop myself from laughing bitterly and scornfully.

Getting back to rambling about my routine ( Come on, admit it, you want to know. You've missed me!), after feeding and playing with Peanut for a while, it's time for me to massage and bathe her. The massage is not as enjoyable a process as it was a few months ago as Peanut wriggles around and tries to escape, or just keeps attempting to grab and lick at the bottle of oil. So I make it quick and bathe her, which she seems to like quite a bit. The K usually helps in terms of holding the baby while I do the water-pouring and the soap-lathering. The holding bit isn't all that necessary and I bathed her once without the K and it was fine, but the K was so downcast after this that I just decided it's better to let her help me!

Vijay comes home fairly late, maybe around 8 p.m. on average and then it's baby-and-Papa time. A lot of this time consists of Vijay looking adoringly at her and consistently repeating 'Pa-pa-pa-pa-pa', and Peanut looking around furtively and going 'Ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma'. I have absolutely no doubt that while we're both away, the K is trying to to teach her to say 'Ka-ka-ka-ka-ka-ka'.

Dinner time, conversation, diaper change, feeding, rocking Peanut in an attempt to get her to sleep before 11 p.m., and the few precious hours just fly by, and at the end of the day I try and read a few pages of the Thornbirds. It is the most amazing story - I discovered it only recently, having watched the entire television miniseries on DVD in just two days before I started work. When I was a kid, it was just one of those boring things my parents liked. I know I'm getting old now. Anyway, my grandmother told me that the book was even better and when I couldn't find it in Oxford Bookstore, she managed to dig out a copy that my mom had presented to my grandpa in 1984. Imagine that. And she was right, it is better than the TV version, as is usually the case.

Anyway, so that's my day nowadays and it really doesn't leave much time for blogging. Some Saturdays are working (eee-yuck!) but others, like today, aren't. And thus, here I am, telling you that I'm still around, everything is fine, and I will catch up with all you bloggy people in Delhi once things settle down a bit. Next few weekends are likely to whiz by in a blur of house-hunting and rejecting until I finally sit on Vijay and grimly twist his arm behind his back until he says 'This one looks good! We'll take it!'

So that's it for me. And you?

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Riddle-me-Ree, Who can she be?

Greetings wonderful MTBs!!!
and good work to all of you!
For having solved the riddle before
I give you all this clue.

This time its not a letter
nor is it a number clue
This time its just a good old blank
which means no clue for you!

Booooo! you say with spirit..
Yaaay! we say in throng!
For it is part of the thrill of the chase
which leads to the next little song!

“I’m a Natural, says this lady in The Big Apple, you see
She speaks to her good ole cuppa tea
And gallivanting with both her young ones
Is something she loves tons and tons
Losing Moby, Need to lose weight – she implores
Radio City Music Hall – she just adores.”

Solve it and you get your lead
Misguess, and you lose your speed
Solve it slow but solve it now
And before you go, take a little bow

Go to 'Comments' and leave me a clue
Tell me which blog you are off to.
Good luck! Good luck! Be on your way.
You have your work cut out for the day!

Friday, April 11, 2008

Why You Shouldn't Ask Your Spouse For Feedback

So, I started work today after quite a few months of leave. It was a good day but hectic - and I'm too tired to write about it right now. Instead, putting up what I composed two days back. Bye!

Early morning conversation over tea.

Y: Honey, tell me three faults of mine.

Vijay (almost chokes while sipping tea): What?

Y: I'm in the mood for self-improvement. Go on, tell me my faults.

Vijay (sugary voice): You? Faults? You have no faults.

Y: It's okay, really. You can tell me. No problem. Tell me. I really want to know.

Vijay: No, no, let's talk about something else.

Y: Honey, please! Tell me - I want to work on it. You can tell me. Come on.

Vijay: Well, there's one right there, right now - you're so obstinate.

(Silence. Hurt look on my face.)

Vijay: But in a good way! Obstinacy is good. It gets things done.

Y: Hmmm. Fine. What else? Tell me another.

Vijay: do tend to be rigid.

Y: Me, rigid? Am I really rigid?

Vijay: Yes. A lot of the time. All the time.

Y: Really? I'm like that? Sort of 'My way or the Highway' types?

Vijay: Noooo....You're more like 'My way IS the Highway'. Ha ha ha.


Vijay: But rigidity can be good - it means that you don't sway this way and that - it helps you to be decisive. Yes, we need people who can make decisions.

Y: But I often change my decisions.

Vijay: Yes! And that means you're flexible and adaptive.

Y: But if I'm flexible and adaptive, how can I also be rigid?

Vijay: Because you're only rigid about one thing at a time. Then you change your mind and are rigid about another thing.


Vijay (Getting into the flow and clearly starting to enjoy himself): ...and you don't really let things go, you know. Little things - you can't let them go. You know that?

Y (Hastily): Okay, okay. That's the third fault. Fine.

Vijay: Third? Only two so far, I thought?

Y: Obstinacy. Rigidity. Not letting things go. That's three...Aren't you getting late for work now?

Vijay (Tilting his head back thoughtfully, putting his hands behind his head while stretching out his long legs): Shall I take the day off so that we can talk about this?

A very kind offer which I unfortunately had to refuse.

Thursday, April 10, 2008

Why A Garden Is Fun

...a father can have an early morning picnic with his baby, before running away to work!

''I had you!''

My mother was reading a story in the paper aloud today, in shock - something about a 2.5 year old girl being dropped off by her school bus at the wrong bus stop, a couple of kilometers away from her home, and wandering around lost and scared. Thankfully, she was returned home safely after a shopkeeper spotted her passing his shop several times, and her father's number was found in some diary in her bag, or something like that. I barely had time to wonder what a 2.5 year old was doing in a school bus in the first place, when I suddenly had a flashback.

I wrote a post about early memories earlier, but omitted to mention this one which is also a vivid early memory - it was one of my first days in the 'big school'- and at the end of the school day, ''Nisha Ma'am'' escorted me to my bus to be dropped home. I was fine as long as she was around, because she was a very nice lady - but started to panic when she started to leave me, after depositing me in my seat in the bus. I think she then asked an older kid who looked absolutely gigantic to my 4 year-old self, but was probably just a regular skinny kid in the 10th class or something - to sit next to me, take care of me, and make sure I was bunged off at the right stop.

I remember how scared I was, blubbering with tears at all the noise and unfamiliar faces around me - and also remember how the fear eased up over the course of the short bus ride as that boy chatted with me and told me stories. My tears dried up and I became quite absorbed in what he was saying and soon I was at my bus stop and he helped me get off the bus and waved bye to me cheerfully. I was picked up by our maid Saraswati at the bus stop, and life was looking pretty good to me again.

I don't remember seeing ever seeing or recognizing that boy again, but he sure made a difference to me. Bus rides were never a problem again for me.

So anyway, I was thinking about all this, recounting the incident out loud to my mother and sister, and then I asked my sister about whether she had any such early memories, about the trauma of being a small kid going to a big school for the first time.

I was slightly irritated by her breezy answer 'Nope!'

All my irritation disappeared when she elaborated further on this with a highly matter-of-fact 'I had you, na!'

And it's true. I've bullied her, fought with her, made her run around for me far too much - and still do all of these things. But it's kind of good to know that when she thinks back to her earliest days, she remembers me looking out for her and says in all simplicity 'I had you, na!'

P.S - I've written this post for somebody I know who is expecting her second child soon, and has had some mixed feelings about the timing, finances, and overall practicality. Don't want to downplay any of those things, they are realities. But it's also a reality that there's nothing like having a sibling you can always count on. And of course, you know this already, but it's nice to remember it sometimes, anyway - right?

Monday, April 7, 2008

A Visit to the Mad House for Tea

She's not kidding when she calls herself the Mad Momma!

So, Peanut and I went to visit the Brat, the Bean and their mother yesterday.

We landed up at her place after numerous phone calls to Mad Momma - I had carefully noted the directions on my laptop and happily left them behind. I put her on speakerphone in the car, and she told the driver where to go. He couldn't understand her because she spoke too fast and I wasn't really listening, so we went around in circles a few times.

Finally, we reached the right location. I knew it was the right location because she had said there was a water tanker parked right outside the gate. I also knew it was the right location because the MM was hanging half-off her balcony looking out for us, and screaming 'Hi!'. I looked up in disbelief and realized I would have to walk up 3 floors. I resolutely chugged along upstairs and then pandemonium reigned.

Peanut, who had been asleep in the car, was grabbed by MM, who was very excited to see her and chattering away nineteen to the dozen. The clingy Peanut started to pout and cry, and was promptly handed back to me to be admired from a distance. The Brat was called in to see the baby, and he came in curiously to look at her. He was very gentle with her and she seemed to take to him immediately because when he leaned forward to look at her, she leaned forward to bump noses with him. It was incredibly cute and although they did it twice, I couldn't get a picture.

But then he went off to fetch the Bean, and she came tottering into the room at full speed and the most brilliant grin. She is even cuter than I had thought she would be, and the room lit up every time she entered it, which she did numerous times, toddling in and out to explore everything.

Both the Brat and the Bean were quite fascinated by Peanut. They kept coming up to her and touching her and sharing their toys and biscuits with her. Think of it - the Bean, who is barely 4 or 5 months older than her, was feeding her a biscuit whenever she got the chance. I haven't actually seen anything as cute as this before. Peanut accepted their generosity with more greed than grace and even when the Bean tried to touch her face later, Peanut opened her mouth to eat her finger.

We had a really good time talking, and I ended up staying an hour longer than planned. My heart skipped a beat everytime I saw the Bean running hither and thither, falling down, spinning in circles to the point of complete giddiness - and at one point, running straight into a door at full speed and being knocked backwards, right off her feet, by the force of the impact. I was on the verge of panic but the MM just deftly grabbed her, and rubbed her head and whatever squeals were emerging from the Bean were quickly subdued. It was at that moment that I realized that Peanut is really sensitive because we fuss over her so much everytime she has even the smallest of accidents. Something must be done about this. I have absolutely no idea what and how that something is, though.

The Brat is a really sweet and gentle kid, but the Bean is a riot. Occasionally, she would walk upto MM and try to fling one of her toys at her. Except that it would fly out of her hand at the wrong moment and arc backwards instead - this looked very funny, but would probably not be so to anyone unfortunate enough to be behind her at this point. An enterprising baby, she was eyeing Peanut's sippy cup of water and somehow later managed to get it from the bag and was found nonchalantly drinking 'Dudu' from it. She also wore my sunglasses, which were deposited ceremoniously on her nose by the Brat, and went tottering around half-blindly, looking hilarious.

Anyway, Peanut ended up getting quite cranky and overwhelmed. The Bean whacked at her one point - that itself didn't bother her much, but when the MM yelled at the Bean for it, Peanut started to cry.

Later, she had calmed down and we were enjoying the unusually beautiful weather out on the balcony when MM noticed the Bean attempting to eat an unidentified black object. MM forcibly extricated it from her mouth, and Beanie went away squealing in resentment. In a bit, the Brat appeared at the door, waving his finger at MM and informing her that she is not to yell at the Bean. MM tried to negotiate and told him, in that case, he should tell the Bean not to eat dirty things. He maintained his threatening pose for about a second longer, and then suddenly grinned broadly and screamed in excitement. This threw Peanut off and she started to cry all over again, much to the mortificaton of poor, innocent Bratty.

And so it went.

We finally packed up and left. It was really great to have met them and I know we'll do it again. Of course, the overwhelmed Peanut was a real joy on the way back in the car (not).

I was thinking about it. A few months later, will Peanut be anything like the Bean? Running around, slamming into doors, eating mud, trying to climb up onto the balcony railing, alternating between feeding someone lovingly and attempting to smack the living daylights out of them, asking for 'Godi', and in general, being full of beans (!) and causing joyous havoc everywhere she goes?

This visit has been a real eye-opener for me. As much as I've complained about the nine months of pregnancy and various difficulties and existential issues in last nine months after Peanut has been born - it's probably been what you might call a cakewalk, compared to what is to follow.

Yep, the next couple of decades are going to be great fun. I think I'll just have to take it in nine-month intervals then. I can do this. I can do this.

HOW WILL I DO THIS? I need a smoke. Except that I don't smoke. A drink. But I'm not drinking while feeding Peanut. I need chocolate.

Edited to add: Had to remove the pictures as I really don't feel comfortable having them up for long on my blog anymore!

Friday, April 4, 2008

Conversation with Chatty AD

I know, I know, I just said posting would be sporadic. I can't help it if Vijay's flight is delayed due to the rains. Beautiful rains!

The phone rings, and I see it is an old friend of mine, AD. He was to pick me up the previous day for a meeting with another friend, N - who has just had a baby boy around a month back. For some reason, I had missed a couple of his calls (as usual-heh heh), so I prepare myself for the inevitable and pick up.

Y (sweetly): Hi!
AD (rudely): Why don't you ever pick up your phone?
Y: Why didn't YOU pick up your phone when I called?
AD: Nonsense. You called only once, I called twice. I was supposed to pick you up, na.
Y: Yes, why didn't you pick me up?
AD: Because N decided she didn't want to meet us.
Y: Oh.
AD: Yes, she's just had a baby, you know. She was having one of those know what I'm talking about...what do you call them?
Y (Helpfully): Bad hair days?
AD: No, yaar. Silly. Those days...oh, I don't know. Anyway, she didn't want to meet us. Especially you.
Y (Aghast): Why, why me?
AD: Because you two haven't met for so long, na. If I go over, she can just leave me to my own devices and go and do her own thing. But if you go, she'll have to actually talk to you. It's an effort to make conversation, na.
Y: You obviously haven't been in a room with two women who've just had babies. There's plenty to talk about.
AD (muttering) Maybe I shouldn't be there for this meeting, then. Anyway, don't change the subject. She said why don't WE come over to YOUR place today.
Y: Haan, so come, na. Come today. Just land up this evening. It'll be nice. We can hang out here only. Oh wait - what about her baby, can she bring him out?
AD: Aha! That's the point. You've realized it very fast, after five minutes. You wouldn't get to meet the baby. Do you really want to meet the baby?
Y: Of course, what did you think?
AD: Haan, I thought so. But she was just in the mood to get out of the house, you know. So she agreed rather reluctantly to have us come over.
Y: But why can't she come over here, along with her baby?
AD: Oh, he's too small, yaar. Or maybe she can't manage him alone or something. I'm sure you know what that's like.
Y (hackles raised): What does THAT mean? I was managing Peanut completely on my own till she was around 3 months old - only then the K moved with us to Mumbai.
AD (interestedly): I guess you're just better with children than N, eh?
Y (backtracking): Wait a minute. I never said that. Why are you putting words into my mouth and trying to cause trouble?
AD (reassuring) : Don't worry, yaar. I would never tell N that you said that.
Y : Good, good. Wait a minute...I DIDN'T say it!
AD: Ha ha. Achha, by the way, I had a great idea. Since you're moving here, why don't you just get a job at Coke? It's a great place, dude.
Y: I don't WANT to work there.
AD: What are you saying? I love Coke. It's my favourite drink. And I have a friend there - they have great parties. I suggest Vijay joins Coke, then.
Y: He doesn't want to work there, either. He's already found a job.
AD: But their parties, dude. It's all Coke at their parties, you know? Coke Mugs, Coke T-Shirts. Everything Coke...
Y: ...and to drink?
AD: Coke, yaar, Coke!
Y: ...and rum?
AD (in a reverie, barely listening): Yeah. I love Coke.
Y: Why the hell don't YOU join them, then?
AD: Because they wouldn't take me. I have to be able to do something for them. I can't just go to them and say 'I love Coke', give me a job.
Y: This conversation is getting completely ridiculous.
AD: Why, yaar? You're being most ungrateful. I'm only trying to solve your problem.
Y: But I don't HAVE a problem.
AD: Just tell Vijay about the parties, okay? It may sway his decision.
Y: (resignedly) Okay, I will do that.
AD (changing track): IIMs are raising their fees, you know. H is damn happy.
Y: Why would your friend be happy about such a thing?
AD: Oh, because he is abroad doing his MBA, na? He was always upset about the fact that everyone else does it for much cheaper, here. So now he is very happy that all the other suckers also have to pay a higher price. Ha ha.
Y: He's YOUR friend. Can't expect anything else from him.
AD: Hai, na? Achha, don't change the subject. So when are we meeting N?
Y: Anytime, yaar. Anytime... I thought we were meeting today.
AD: Let's meet next week instead? That will give N some time. But she's damn erratic nowadays, you know, so we're going to have to live with it.
Y: (totally confused about the plan) Ok. Fine.
AD: Ok, then! I'll call you later.

I put the phone down, my head spinning.

And they say we women talk too much.

Thursday, April 3, 2008


My mother's new place has two helpers who are a married couple, Dissamber the Cook and Parvati the Cleaner. Dissamber's real name is Neelambar, but since the K has been calling him Dissamber in all innocence, and I rather fancy it, I too refer to him as such.

Dissamber and Parvati are about to become first-time grandparents and are very nervous and excited about it. Their daughter is at her in-laws and they know it's going to happen sometime soon and are just awating her call.

I asked Dissamber to make me a hard boiled egg earlier this morning and as I sat down at the breakfast table, Parvati was pottering around cleaning.

The K walked in and proudly announced, as a way of making conversation 'Parvati Nani Banega'
I misheard this and was surprised 'Ban gaya? Ho gaya?'
Parvati shook her head saying 'Nahin, nahin...abhi nahin'.
Dissamber heard the confusion and popped his head out of the kitchen and said 'Haan....ban gaya, na'
I swooped to congratulate the hapless Parvati 'Arrey, Waah! Itni Jaldi?' ( For want of anything better to say)
Parvati looked at Dissamber in mute disbelief and confusion. Pandemonium reigned.

It was then clarified that Dissamber was talking about my hard boiled egg. The excitement died down quickly. But it was a fun 30 seconds there.


Peanut is going nuts with excitement these days. Her Nani and Masi come home late after work and that's the time when she goes wild, lurching here and there between them and playing - so much so that her sleep cycle is all screwed up and last night she slept at 1.30 a.m. Anyway, I was watching in fascination as she threw her own toys away and went instead for things like my mother's necklace, the cover of her cellphone, her watch, her bangles. She dropped them all one by one within around 30 seconds.
'She has such a short attention span' I observed 'The attention span of a ....of a....'
My sister put an end to my struggle and interjected helpfully ' ...of a 7-month old baby?'
Correct. Couldn't have put it any better myself. Pathetic but true.
Vijay is arriving today, having finally packed up all our stuff in Mumbai, and getting it loaded and Delhi-bound.
He asked me to think of any other pending thing, and after racking my brains, I realized that that idiot Kunal Internet - the guy who took Rs.500 from me for a Reliance Internet connection and never delivered - still had my money! I suggested to Vijay that he beat him up and get the money back.
His eager reply 'Should I hire a few goons? Pay them a few thousand? And do the needful?'
Very funny. And they call me the sarcastic one.
For some arbitrary reason, Vijay had booked himself on the night flight. But all the work there has been finished in good time, so much so that he doesn't have a TV to watch, or a sofa to sit on, or a bed to sleep on. All empty. All gone.
Me: So why have you booked yourself on the 8 p.m. flight, then? Are you planning to wander around Chowpatti and say goodbye to everyone you meet?
(Ok, so maybe I am unduly sarcastic)
Vijay (after a brief silence, adopts his favourite dialogue): Dekho. Isse naseehat nahin, mashwara samajhna...
(It always gets to me)
Me: Heh, heh. Ok, ok, sorry. But why don't you get on an earlier flight?
Vijay: Honey, I checked and the Jet flight was full - and the others have only limited seats...
Me ( Grabbing the opportunity for a PJ): So tell them you are very thin, a limited seat will do...ha ha ha ha...
Me: Ha ha?
Vijay (Unnatural, forced guffaw) HA HA HA HA HA..... Ha.

And despite that, he has been motivated enough to take an earlier flight and we are all very excited about this. It reminds me of the early days when Peanut was born and I was in Delhi, and Vijay was coming only on weekends from Mumbai to meet us. After today, we're hopefully going to be all together, at least for some time. So yayyyy! And we're going to get busy looking for a house and stuff, so maybe blogging will be a bit sporadic from now on. But yayyyyy!

It's Just So Fitting Somehow...

...that just over a year ago, I wrote this.

And now I actually have a new little person to share my obsession with mangoes.

Yep, Peanut has been given some today and has proved to just lurve it. Considering how many mangoes I ate during my pregnancy, this is hardly what you might term a shocker.

In fact, now that I think back, neither is the fact that I put on 24 kgs instead of the recommended 14...

But there I go again! And while this was certainly not the point of this post, I must say this. I have been reading lots of women bloggers in the last few months and I can tell you this, ladies - we all DO obsess about our weight. The stereotypes about us are all just being proven true by us, time and time again. Some of us write posts about our struggle with weight loss, which is fine. Some write about the successes, which are nice to read ( You B****es...just kidding!). But a lot, and I mean, a lot of us, make numerous references to our weight, usually in self-deprecating terms. Even when we're trying to be funny, what we really want to hear is 'Oh, you're not fat' or 'You look like you've lost weight, actually' - oh, bah! What pathetic attempts at fishing for compliments. And of course, I'm as guilty of it as the rest of the people I'm talking about.

I don't know about you all, but I'm getting a little tired of it myself -the truth is, I think I look pretty good. And even if I didn't, I don't think regular jabs at myself would help my self-esteem any. Therefore, I'm putting an end to this, at least over here.

So rejoice, peoples! You will no longer hear this person rambling on and on, moaning endlessly about her weight. Come on! Who else is with me? We can call it the 'No-Talky-About-My-Weighty-Booty' pact, or something equally elegant. So WHO ELSE IS WITH ME!? SING OUT!


I feel so much better. I'm going to go have meself another mango now.

Oh, and also - does anyone have any gyaan on how much mango is okay to be given to an 8-month old?

Wednesday, April 2, 2008

Don't Ask, Okay?!

The most annoying question before I had my baby was always 'So when are you going to give us the good news?'

There are now a new bunch of questions regarding the baby, that are really annoying - although they are not as obnoxious as the 'good news' one and are usually asked in all innocence - but still !

* Is she sleeping through the night yet?
Answer: NO! Babies do NOT sleep through the night. Anyone who says their baby sleeps or slept through the night is either demented with old age or just saying it to annoy me. I have not slept more than 3 hours at a stretch since my last trimester. That's almost a year now. And I'm used to it now so it doesn't bother me as much as before. So don't ask!

...and then there's...

*Has your baby lost some weight? She's looking thinner...
Answer: NO! Why do people even ask this question? Why can't you bloody say that I'M looking like I lost weight? SHE is putting on weight like any regular, average baby. She's just getting taller and that's why she looks thinner. Okay with you? Good. Then don't ask!

....and my personal favourite....

*So what do you do at home the whole day with the baby? Don't you get bored? It's like the end of your social life, right?
Answer: Dude, go have a baby before asking this question. It's been many months and I haven't been 'bored' a single day. It's a different matter that I have felt ready to go back to work for some time, and will start soon. It doesn't mean that it's boring to stay at home with my baby. She's the most fun person I ever met. And I'm meeting a lot more people through her nowadays. My social life is just beginning! So no asky-wasky, okay?

Phew! That's it. I'm sure there are more but I don't feel like ranting on and on. BUT I'm really interested to know - what are the questions that really get to YOU? The ones that cause you to inwardly groan while you smile politely and deliver a stock answer? And the ones that just make you want to deliver a Zidane-style head butt to the person who asked?

Do tell, do tell. I'm listening.