Me (all enthu): I'll set my alarm and wake you up.
(Morning) I roll out of bed with great difficulty and find Vijay has disappeared. He's out in the drawing room playing on his phone.
Me: Up already?
Vijay (looks up bleary-eyed): Couldn't sleep from four thirty a.m.
Me: Wow, you were really looking forward to the game, huh?
I run about getting ready and head over to the balcony and fetch the rackets: Let's go!
Vijay (glancing over for a millisecond): You've got out the tennis rackets. The squash ones are the longish ones, yaar.
Me (indignant, already running back to do the switch): As if I didn't know that! You think I'm a fool or something?
On the way to the court, Vijay complains about a backache and staggers along as I bounce all the way.
I pause for a moment, concerned: Are you sure you're up to playing today, honey?
(Inner voice: I'm going to WIN today)
Indeed, it looks like today Vijay is hardly on top of his game. His shots don't have their usual sting and he's slower to return mine. I place the ball cleverly towards the front of the court, causing him to stumble and miss as he reaches out.