Saturday, March 14, 2015


Call me lazy if you will, but I think this compilation of Facebook posts makes for a weekend blog post ;)
Follow if you want to see me through the week!

1. Me: 'Will you stop THAT! ...Fickle, don't Piddle!'
Peanut: 'What, Mama? You said Fickle, don't...'
Me: (quickly) ' I did NOT...I said Pickle, Don't Fiddle!'
Papad: (all innocent) what does Piddle mean, Mama?'

2. Me: 'You guys are ready for school so early? That's awesome!'
Pickle: 'Ya, and I did Potty awso!' ( Chorus of 'Me too'! 'Me too'!)
Me: 'Well, that's great...all of you have done, um, Potty in the morning...that's very good.'
Papad: 'I did it FURST!' (Chorus of 'No, Me first! ...I was first!')
Me: 'Now, wait, stop doesn't matter...listen...'
Peanut breaks the impasse with the announcement 'Well, I did the MOST!'
(Stunned silence.)

3. Me (singing Papad to sleep, a Beatles song): ''If you don't take her out tonight, she's going to change her mind...''
Papad (sleepily): Mama?
Me (interrupting my musical flow): Um, yes, Papad?
Papad (slurring): Uska Mind kyon change karenge?.. Naya dimaag kaahan se aayega?

4. My desperate attempt to keep my three kids indoors this cold, wet Holi.
'Hey, who wants to watch the DuckTales theme song on Youtube!'
'Me!' 'Me!' 'Me!'
(After 1.5 minutes, I realise this is not going to work and get another idea)
'Who wants to watch an ENTIRE EPISODE of DuckTALES?'
'Me!' 'Me!' 'Me!'
As they settle back happily for 15 minutes and I press the play button, Papad leans over to his twin brother and I hear him whisper out of the side of his mouth.
' you know what is apisode?'

5. Taking the twins to the doctor this morning, along with my maid Rinki.
We're driving along the highway, and I say, pointing to the Airtel Office.
'Look, there's Daddy's old office'
Pickle and Papad are very interested and peer out the window. 'That rainbow one?'
'That's right' I affirm. 'And now, coming up on the right is Mama's new office.'
'Micromax!' Papad shouts excitedly as he sees the logo that he recognizes from my I-card.
'Correct.' And then as we speed along, I spot an old building to the left, next to Signature Towers. 'And that's the Unilever office. You know Mama and Daddy used to work in Unilever?'
They process this piece of information as they stare at the building.
After a few seconds, I announce. 'And there, on the left that's Mama's old office, at Hindustan Times...'
My maid Rinki can no longer hold herself back. 'AAP LOG KITNA OFFICE CHANGE KARTA HAI?'
I mumble something in embarrassment. Vijay spent 12 years in Levers and now 5 years in GSK. I did 6 years in Levers and almost 5 in HT. And yet, we now look like flighty job-hoppers to our maid who's been helping raise the kids for the last 5 years.
It's just that damn highway.

6. Itna Shtylish Lag Ke Kaha Ja Rahe Ho? Jumba class?
(I'll take that as a compliment, my ghaati 4-year old. And no, I'm going to the office)


Hi there. Go on, say it. Well? WELL?