Thursday, February 8, 2007

The Idiot Box: Understatement of the Century

No, seriously. The more I watch, the stupider I get. I can feel it happening. I can literally feel the grey cells disintegrating.

But it's so difficult to stop...the easiest thing in the world after you come home from work is to plonk onto your comfortable blue sofa, which, by now, has a gentle, comforting concave indentation in the exact shape of your bottom, and switch on the TV and wait expectantly for your life to become Jinga-la-la..

TV just has to stop for me, though. And these are some of the reasons why:

a. I know who won the Roadies on MTV. I watched the finals.

(SOB! All right! I lied! I watched the finals TWICE!)

b. I derive great pleasure from watching deluded Americans get rejected on American Idol.

(Psychotic wannabe introducing himself to judges (American Drawl): I'm like a singer..dancer..superstar..
Simon (clipped English accent): Hang on a minute they-ah. I can undah-stand you saying you're a singer and dancer. But how can you call youself a superstah?
Psycho: Oh, you can ask anyone...mah friends...mah of mah therapists...
Simon: Hang on, hang on. Just how many therapists do you have?
Psycho (unconcerned about the impression he's making): I have, like, two..

Needless to say, he was rejected within .3 seconds of starting his 'song')

c. I have watched the Friends reruns so many times that I laugh before the joke is made.

And sometimes, I don't laugh at all..but still continue to stare at the TV blankly. I just can't switch it off! It's not an option!

d. I sat and waited one Monday at 9 p.m. to watch the first episode of KBC 3 on Star Plus

And then actually discussed with other people the next day as to how Shah Rukh had performed..Ewwwww...

e. I watched 'America's Next Top model' for six continuous episodes (and even saw 'I wanna Be a Soapstar' twice)

I knew the model's NAMES. Their NAMES! Brittany..Tiffany...Blasphemy!!

f. I watched one episode of Big Boss.

There was some girl on the show called Rupali, who actually made Rakhi Sawant look tolerable. Are you hearing me? I just called Rakhi Sawant TOLERABLE in comparison to someone.
And I saw Rahul Roy on TV! After 10 years! And I know he WON!

You'd think that Big Boss was the lowest I have sunk to. But NOO...for, do not forget, while I am watching these shows, I am also exposed to around a thousand ads per day. And as a marketeer, I KNOW how damaging that can be to the brain.

I Hate TV. I Hate Tata Sky. I Hate Life Jinga-la-la. I am going to read a book tonight. That's it. I'm serious. No, seriously, I am. No wise-crack ending to this post. No, SIR. Sorry to disappoint you.

And it's going to be a good book, too.

And I suggest you also read something worthwhile instead of this blog. (Now, that , you know, I don't mean).


  1. i admit it.. i watched roadies a couple times too (eeks) and big boss (double eeks).. sigh..

    where's ganju?

  2. you know what's even more scary...i saw all these shows too...repeats included...and with no regrets....makes me a bigger loser huh? shitttt

  3. I KNEW it. Losers! Hah!

    Gits, it seems that Ganju has transferred back to his home planet. They don't have many internet connections available there, but he is thinking of trading in his his brain for one.

    We should hear from him soon.

  4. Very nice and very funny ... and I think i was partly responsible for the big boss episode ... i want maaah (clipped punju accent) credit ... Amen.

    Keep blogging

  5. Hehehe.. I'm glad I've found someone else who is like me, watching exactly all these programs, and with cpl of episodes here and there... I didn't see a single complete episode of Big Boss, but I watched the finals with all the attention that can be given (no channel surfing!)... and I also watched the finals of Nach Baliye with equal ardour! And American Idols! Its just not possible to switch inbetween when these guys are making such fools of themselves!

    Loved this post! looking forward to more, and will keep reading this blog (as I will the final episode of 'I wanna be a soapstar'!)..

  6. It is the much adored - "Love and Hate" relationship that we share with the Idiot box!!

  7. first of all - thank you for missing me gitanjali, well done - 5 points to you!

    second of all - duh duh ... hahahaha - very funny .. the comment about me ... i feel so flattered :) i have infact traded in your brain for my internet connection.

    and finally moving on to your blog ... i'm not sure i agree that TV is making you stupider. you've been pretty stupid all along :)

    ohhhh ... just kidding ... you're a genius duh duh!

  8. Rockstar Supernova, Bigg Boss and repeat telecasts of Roadies (because i always thought it was a new show till it was over)...

    my paranoia about being 40, with cats and a TV is so...extreme..that i refuse to watch TV alone. The Ring had something to do with it... am blabberin....but watching tv alone and eating alone.....TOTALLY gets me down


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