A Visit to the Mad House for Tea

She's not kidding when she calls herself the Mad Momma!

So, Peanut and I went to visit the Brat, the Bean and their mother yesterday.

We landed up at her place after numerous phone calls to Mad Momma - I had carefully noted the directions on my laptop and happily left them behind. I put her on speakerphone in the car, and she told the driver where to go. He couldn't understand her because she spoke too fast and I wasn't really listening, so we went around in circles a few times.


Finally, we reached the right location. I knew it was the right location because she had said there was a water tanker parked right outside the gate. I also knew it was the right location because the MM was hanging half-off her balcony looking out for us, and screaming 'Hi!'. I looked up in disbelief and realized I would have to walk up 3 floors. I resolutely chugged along upstairs and then pandemonium reigned.


Peanut, who had been asleep in the car, was grabbed by MM, who was very excited to see her and chattering away nineteen to the dozen. The clingy Peanut started to pout and cry, and was promptly handed back to me to be admired from a distance. The Brat was called in to see the baby, and he came in curiously to look at her. He was very gentle with her and she seemed to take to him immediately because when he leaned forward to look at her, she leaned forward to bump noses with him. It was incredibly cute and although they did it twice, I couldn't get a picture.


But then he went off to fetch the Bean, and she came tottering into the room at full speed and the most brilliant grin. She is even cuter than I had thought she would be, and the room lit up every time she entered it, which she did numerous times, toddling in and out to explore everything.


Both the Brat and the Bean were quite fascinated by Peanut. They kept coming up to her and touching her and sharing their toys and biscuits with her. Think of it - the Bean, who is barely 4 or 5 months older than her, was feeding her a biscuit whenever she got the chance. I haven't actually seen anything as cute as this before. Peanut accepted their generosity with more greed than grace and even when the Bean tried to touch her face later, Peanut opened her mouth to eat her finger.


We had a really good time talking, and I ended up staying an hour longer than planned. My heart skipped a beat everytime I saw the Bean running hither and thither, falling down, spinning in circles to the point of complete giddiness - and at one point, running straight into a door at full speed and being knocked backwards, right off her feet, by the force of the impact. I was on the verge of panic but the MM just deftly grabbed her, and rubbed her head and whatever squeals were emerging from the Bean were quickly subdued. It was at that moment that I realized that Peanut is really sensitive because we fuss over her so much everytime she has even the smallest of accidents. Something must be done about this. I have absolutely no idea what and how that something is, though.


The Brat is a really sweet and gentle kid, but the Bean is a riot. Occasionally, she would walk upto MM and try to fling one of her toys at her. Except that it would fly out of her hand at the wrong moment and arc backwards instead - this looked very funny, but would probably not be so to anyone unfortunate enough to be behind her at this point. An enterprising baby, she was eyeing Peanut's sippy cup of water and somehow later managed to get it from the bag and was found nonchalantly drinking 'Dudu' from it. She also wore my sunglasses, which were deposited ceremoniously on her nose by the Brat, and went tottering around half-blindly, looking hilarious.



Anyway, Peanut ended up getting quite cranky and overwhelmed. The Bean whacked at her one point - that itself didn't bother her much, but when the MM yelled at the Bean for it, Peanut started to cry.



Later, she had calmed down and we were enjoying the unusually beautiful weather out on the balcony when MM noticed the Bean attempting to eat an unidentified black object. MM forcibly extricated it from her mouth, and Beanie went away squealing in resentment. In a bit, the Brat appeared at the door, waving his finger at MM and informing her that she is not to yell at the Bean. MM tried to negotiate and told him, in that case, he should tell the Bean not to eat dirty things. He maintained his threatening pose for about a second longer, and then suddenly grinned broadly and screamed in excitement. This threw Peanut off and she started to cry all over again, much to the mortificaton of poor, innocent Bratty.


And so it went.



We finally packed up and left. It was really great to have met them and I know we'll do it again. Of course, the overwhelmed Peanut was a real joy on the way back in the car (not).

I was thinking about it. A few months later, will Peanut be anything like the Bean? Running around, slamming into doors, eating mud, trying to climb up onto the balcony railing, alternating between feeding someone lovingly and attempting to smack the living daylights out of them, asking for 'Godi', and in general, being full of beans (!) and causing joyous havoc everywhere she goes?

This visit has been a real eye-opener for me. As much as I've complained about the nine months of pregnancy and various difficulties and existential issues in last nine months after Peanut has been born - it's probably been what you might call a cakewalk, compared to what is to follow.

Yep, the next couple of decades are going to be great fun. I think I'll just have to take it in nine-month intervals then. I can do this. I can do this.

HOW WILL I DO THIS? I need a smoke. Except that I don't smoke. A drink. But I'm not drinking while feeding Peanut. I need chocolate.

Edited to add: Had to remove the pictures as I really don't feel comfortable having them up for long on my blog anymore!

Conversation with Chatty AD

I know, I know, I just said posting would be sporadic. I can't help it if Vijay's flight is delayed due to the rains. Beautiful rains!

The phone rings, and I see it is an old friend of mine, AD. He was to pick me up the previous day for a meeting with another friend, N - who has just had a baby boy around a month back. For some reason, I had missed a couple of his calls (as usual-heh heh), so I prepare myself for the inevitable and pick up.

Y (sweetly): Hi!
AD (rudely): Why don't you ever pick up your phone?
Y: Why didn't YOU pick up your phone when I called?
AD: Nonsense. You called only once, I called twice. I was supposed to pick you up, na.
Y: Yes, why didn't you pick me up?
AD: Because N decided she didn't want to meet us.
Y: Oh.
AD: Yes, she's just had a baby, you know. She was having one of those days....you know what I'm talking about...what do you call them?
Y (Helpfully): Bad hair days?
AD: No, yaar. Silly. Those days...oh, I don't know. Anyway, she didn't want to meet us. Especially you.
Y (Aghast): Why, why me?
AD: Because you two haven't met for so long, na. If I go over, she can just leave me to my own devices and go and do her own thing. But if you go, she'll have to actually talk to you. It's an effort to make conversation, na.
Y: You obviously haven't been in a room with two women who've just had babies. There's plenty to talk about.
AD (muttering) Maybe I shouldn't be there for this meeting, then. Anyway, don't change the subject. She said why don't WE come over to YOUR place today.
Y: Haan, so come, na. Come today. Just land up this evening. It'll be nice. We can hang out here only. Oh wait - what about her baby, can she bring him out?
AD: Aha! That's the point. You've realized it very fast, after five minutes. You wouldn't get to meet the baby. Do you really want to meet the baby?
Y: Of course, what did you think?
AD: Haan, I thought so. But she was just in the mood to get out of the house, you know. So she agreed rather reluctantly to have us come over.
Y: But why can't she come over here, along with her baby?
AD: Oh, he's too small, yaar. Or maybe she can't manage him alone or something. I'm sure you know what that's like.
Y (hackles raised): What does THAT mean? I was managing Peanut completely on my own till she was around 3 months old - only then the K moved with us to Mumbai.
AD (interestedly): I guess you're just better with children than N, eh?
Y (backtracking): Wait a minute. I never said that. Why are you putting words into my mouth and trying to cause trouble?
AD (reassuring) : Don't worry, yaar. I would never tell N that you said that.
Y : Good, good. Wait a minute...I DIDN'T say it!
AD: Ha ha. Achha, by the way, I had a great idea. Since you're moving here, why don't you just get a job at Coke? It's a great place, dude.
Y: I don't WANT to work there.
AD: What are you saying? I love Coke. It's my favourite drink. And I have a friend there - they have great parties. I suggest Vijay joins Coke, then.
Y: He doesn't want to work there, either. He's already found a job.
AD: But their parties, dude. It's all Coke at their parties, you know? Coke Mugs, Coke T-Shirts. Everything Coke...
Y: ...and to drink?
AD: Coke, yaar, Coke!
Y: ...and rum?
AD (in a reverie, barely listening): Yeah. I love Coke.
Y: Why the hell don't YOU join them, then?
AD: Because they wouldn't take me. I have to be able to do something for them. I can't just go to them and say 'I love Coke', give me a job.
Y: This conversation is getting completely ridiculous.
AD: Why, yaar? You're being most ungrateful. I'm only trying to solve your problem.
Y: But I don't HAVE a problem.
AD: Just tell Vijay about the parties, okay? It may sway his decision.
Y: (resignedly) Okay, I will do that.
AD (changing track): IIMs are raising their fees, you know. H is damn happy.
Y: Why would your friend be happy about such a thing?
AD: Oh, because he is abroad doing his MBA, na? He was always upset about the fact that everyone else does it for much cheaper, here. So now he is very happy that all the other suckers also have to pay a higher price. Ha ha.
Y: He's YOUR friend. Can't expect anything else from him.
AD: Hai, na? Achha, don't change the subject. So when are we meeting N?
Y: Anytime, yaar. Anytime... I thought we were meeting today.
AD: Let's meet next week instead? That will give N some time. But she's damn erratic nowadays, you know, so we're going to have to live with it.
Y: (totally confused about the plan) Ok. Fine.
AD: Ok, then! I'll call you later.

I put the phone down, my head spinning.

And they say we women talk too much.

Men!

After writing such a nice list of things I am grateful for, I waited coyly for Vijay to read it. He did read it eventually, and his face broke into a slow smile when he came to the end of the post. He put his arm around me, pulled me into a hug and whispered gently in my ear...

'Couldn't think of a tenth one, could you? That's why I'm there, isn't it?'

Humph. Can I just take it back?

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Also, he did the song-spoiler thing again.

When I was a mere child, I was taught this really sweet song by my grandpa, a brilliant musician who has been a sitarist by profession.

'Kitni... Sundar... Pyaari Chidiya,
Rang-Birangi... Nyaari Chidiya,
Aasman mein wo udti hai...
Phir bhi kabhi nahin dadti hai...'

And Peanut loves it as a lullaby, especially because I use exaggerated hand movements to denote flying birds - recently, I've been putting her to sleep with this with a fair amount of success.

Well, yesterday, Vijay ruined it. He was watching me sing it at night and the baby was just about to drift off. All was peaceful and right with the world. But then, just as I reached the end and repeated the chorus for the last time, Vijay chimed in to sing along - loudly and emphatically substituting the main word with 'Chaddi-yaan'.

I glared at him and he stopped almost immediately, but not without a satisfied smirk first. It's all over now. I can no longer sing this song without imagining many, assorted, colourful chaddis floating off fearlessly into the sky. This makes me burst into angry giggles everytime and this is not very soothing for Peanut. Angry giggles. Who knew they were possible?

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

In happier news, one of my best friends is getting married. Yayy!

Manav the Mean Mover, as we have known him in IIMB, has gotten engaged - and that too, to what appears to be a very nice, sane, lovely young woman. Such happiness!

This makes him one of the first of my really close friends to get married. Further, he has the unique distinction of being my only friend who is also truly liked by my husband (no, no, you other guys, he likes you too...sigh...).

Therefore, for many years, Vijay and I have referred to Manav as 'our social circle'. We are delighted that our social circle is going to double in size, as a result of this upcoming union. Oh yeah, we are also happy for the young couple.

The wedding is in March in Delhi - and EVERYONE is invited!

(Sorry, Manaww, couldn't help it. You don't mind a few extra people at the wedding, do you? No, they are not strangers, they are my bloggy friends!)

Conversation with Vani

More news of the vonderful Vani - because I'm too lazy to type out anything new today.

vani: i must tell you.... I bought these lovely (tees.. or so i thot!!) from the BKK weekend market.. with pretty flower prints on them..
have worn one to office today.
you there?
me: am there
waiting to hear what the tees really were?
vani: and am now discovering that it is actually a vest!!
so here I am in office today ... in a flowery baniyan!
me: ha hahahhahahahaha
i need to use this for my blog, hey?
vani: what would you do without me!!
me: indeed
vani: and now you would want a picture of me tapping away in office in my baniyan right!!?
sorry... you're not getting it!
me: awww....you're spoiling it...what's a post like this without a matching picture?
chalo never mind. we take what we can get.
thanks!

Abhi's unique gift

My pal Abhimanyu called a couple of days back and said 'Oye! How's Sundari? I'm coming over to see her' - Correctly interpreting this to mean that he was keen to visit my baby, I told him to come on over in the afternoon.

That morning I had decided to try out, again, the baby gym that Vijay had bought for Peanut. She tends to be fascinated by the flashing lights and the music for a few minutes before breaking into panicked wails - and it was the same that day as well. Grumbling to myself about Vijay's excesses, I rescued her, but left her gym set up on the bed.

Later, Abhimanyu burst into the house and into our room, with his usual 'Oye!'. He then gave Peanut a silly, adoring grin, remarking how she's getting prettier every time he sees her.

I noticed he was carrying a huge, artistically wrapped package under his arm - and at about the same time, he caught sight of the baby gym on the bed. The grin dropped off his face immediately, replaced by a look of disbelief and despair - 'You're kidding me, right?'

I started laughing ' You didn't! You bought her a baby gym, too? The same one?'

He continued to stare in a depressed manner at the gym on the bed and said in an uncharacteristically small voice 'Noo....I think that one is bigger and better...'

I felt sorry for him because he looked so disappointed -but also a bit irritated 'You mean you haven't been reading my blog for weeks? I wrote about Vijay buying that for her and that she's scared by it.'

He quickly changed the subject, asking accusingly 'When did he buy that?'

'A month back'

He said 'But I bought mine a month back... (implying that it was thus impossible that Vijay could have simultaneously done the same) ...I just kept forgetting to bring it over'

I told him, never mind and thanked him for the very generious gift, and assured him that it would probably be very useful - after all, one can never have too many baby gyms, I said.

Slightly cheered by this blatant lie, Abhi then insisted on setting up the gym on my bed. Now, considering that our room is so cluttered by toys and other baby stuff for Peanut that I worry about one day not being able to find her in it, I tried to dissuade him from this, saying we would most likely use it in Bombay instead - but he would not listen. Promising me that he would put it back in the box, he picked up the instruction manual and set it at all up. He then spent some time chatting with me -while gazing at his gift in satisfaction,and alternating this with the occasional malevolent stare at Vijay's purchase.

When it was time for Abhi to leave, I gently pointed out that with the two large baby gyms, and the baby's rocker, there was now no room left for me on the bed and reminded him of his promise to carefully repack the gym. He then unceremoniously stuffed it back into the box, with one giraffe's neck sticking out and half the pieces falling onto the floor. I ushered him out somewhat gladly - and he promised to be back again soon.

Anyway, upon closer examination, it turned out the baby gym that Abhi has bought is a longer lasting one because it's for three stages ( lying on the back, tummy play and sitting up) - and though it lacks the flashing lights and sounds of the other one, considering that Peanut seems overwhelmed by them, this may be a good thing. So all in all, very useful indeed.

And even if it weren't, this was a very thoughtful gesture from one of my oldest and best friends, my sarcastic and offbeat designer pal, the most unlikely to ever be so fascinated by a baby - my Peter Pan, the boy who never seems to grow up - the one who still resents the thought that he is now to be called 'Uncle' by anybody, even if it is Peanut.

There's only one thing I can say to you at this point, Abhi.

'Thank you, Unkil'

And, oh - read my blog more often.