Life Jinga La La La La LA!

Seriously, Tata Sky Plus is pretty cool.

My first exposure to this concept was when I visited my cousin Mini in Australia. I found it interesting how she recorded all her shows, so that after she came back from work, she could watch them at leisure. The best part was seeing her fast-forward the ads.

So anyway, Tata Sky's Diwali offer has got me - along with many, many others, apparently.

But it's cool. In various fits and bursts of enthusiasm, I proceed to surf the various listed programs and have - on three separate occasions - set up to record 15 + programs in one sitting.

Of course, you may be wondering whether I've actually watched any of them. Well...

I saw -

a. The first three minutes of Indiana Jones and the Something Something.
b. The first four minutes of Slumdog Millionaire ( I also thoughtfully recorded Slumdog Crorepati for Vijay, but he didn't seem happy about this)
c. The whole of a workout program called Fitness Fusion where these were these slim blonde women doing the salsa. I worked out with it while Vijay watched appreciatively. The TV, of course.
d. The first two minutes of a program called 'Most Amazing Moments'
e. The first five minutes of a fascinating show on the Great Salmon Run.
f. Half of this great movie called Dead Again. Have you seen it?

...but we did manage to watch the whole of Chicago. This last was only because Peanut allows us only to watch musicals.

So I guess haven't got the full benefit yet although I have loads of programs recorded.

Peanut uses it well, though. I record her In the Night Garden, Teletubbies and other nauseatingly sweet and educational programs on her favorite channel. And yes, she watches each and every one of them at some point of time.

Anyway, it's cool. Live Pause. Rewind. Recording. And of course.

Fastforwarding the Ads.

And I work in Marketing!

Let's be Honest now, Shall we?

I am a big fan of Ceebeebies.

It's very educational and well designed - it's just about the only thing I am happy letting Peanut watch on TV nowadays.

It's helped me wean her off from 9XM, her erstwhile favorite, referred to fondly as 'Ball' by her because it's logo has a ball-like thing on it.

So don't get me wrong: I love Ceebeebies.

But every so often, I get this urge to beat those sickly sweet little lumps of lard known as the Teletubbies, into a fine pulp.

I could take all four of them.

I work out.

Imagine if you will...

It is Diwali time.

You are at your In-laws.

Your in-laws are chaste, vegetarian Brahmins.

After seven years of marriage, they pretty much suspect you are not.

Yet, you are respectful enough to throw out (okay, hide) the non-veg stuff in the house when they visit, especially since you know it makes your mother in law sick.

Even eggs.

So, it's a harmonious balance that has been struck.

And now imagine, if you will.

It is dinner time during Diwali.

Your little Peanut is cheerfully perched on a chair right next to yours.

She is eating plain rice, her favorite dish.

Her Grandma asks her to also eat her sabzi - some alu-gobi, your husband's favorite - and therefore, ubiquitous dish.

Your Peanut looks suspiciously at the alu-gobi.

Reaches out and pokes one piece of the alu.

And then brightly and happily proclaims

'Chickunnn!'

You feel yourself sliding to the floor under the table while your husband chuckles through a mouthful of sabzi and roti, and your in-laws graciously pretend not to hear.

The joy. The infinite joy.

The PTA Meeting

Last week, before Diwali, Vijay and I went to meet Peanut's teachers at her playschool, for our very first PTA Meeting.

First of all, of course, we got ready at the last possible minute and I was getting extremely agitated. Leaving a bewildered Peanut behind, we rushed off and landed up just in the nick of time. We waited around, smiling blandly at the other parents and were soon called in to meet her teachers - Neena and Niti.

Neena did most of the talking, and I found myself warming up to her even more than before - she spoke in a very affectionate way about Peanut and told us about the developments she and Niti had observed in the past few weeks.

This, therefore, is the public image of Peanut:

* She is a very sweet, tender, gentle and well-disciplined child
(Really? I think of the temper tantrums at home)

* She is very assiduous about her work and always puts back her things when asked to do so.
( Her favorite game at home is throwing my books of the shelves, stepping all over them gingerly and pretending to be deaf when I ask her to help me pick them up)

* She does not really communicate verbally, but through gestures it is clear she absorbs everything.
( When Vijay and I are at home, Peanut is the only one who talks. If we try, she resorts to varying levels of the word 'Aaaaa' in order to get us to pay attention to her, finally resulting in screaming if we continue to try and have a conversation).

* She loves music and dance, her favorite song is Bum Bum Bhole.
( This is undisputable - except I think her favorite song is 'Soni De Nakhre' but they probably don't expose a lot of that kind of music to vulnerable toddlers in school)

*She shares an unspoken bond with two kids called Karan and Khushi, and they often are observed doing their activities together and sharing things.
( I am delighted at this. Vijay spends the next few days in deep suspicion, asking Peanut at sudden intervals in an ingratiating manner 'Beta, Karan kaun hai?)

* She is the darling of the class ( wonder if they say that to all parents...nah!) - and is so adorable that all the kids often jump all over her, especially during dance sessions. The teachers are very fond of her and protect her from the rowdier boys ( I could feel Vijay bristling beside me) - and the teachers' special name for her is Tinkerbell.
(This I did not know. And when I went home later and called her Tinkerbell, she got a very special kind of shy smile - when I asked her who calls her that, she said 'Neenaanty'. )

* I was very touched by the description of how they suddenly one day observed her saying her rhymes along with the other kids - Neena says she saw her and held her breath, and gripped Niti's arm and pointed and they both stared in silent delight at her mouthing all the words correctly. ( This kind of excitement really amazed me - I always thought I was the only one who took a real interest in Peanut's little achievements but their delight seemed genuine. I like these people. And yes, Peanut says all sorts of rhymes at home and also sings Andy Pandy and the Teletubbies and the Boogie Beebies theme songs with me)

Anyway, that's about that. I leave you with a couple of older pictures from a school function. In the first one, she's the one in the audience who can't sit still. In the second, she's on stage doing 'Row Row...'

How grown up are WE?

Me: Honey, don't forget - tomorrow is our Parent-Teacher Meeting with Peanut's teacher - at 9.50 a.m.
Vijay: Do we have to take Peanut along?
Me: No, I checked with them at school - she can stay at home.
Vijay: Okay.

(Thoughtful Silence)

Vijay: Honey - it's our first Parent Teacher Meeting? Already?
Me: (Struck by this thought) Yes

(Wondering Silence)

Me: Does this mean we're growing up?
Vijay: I think so.

(Apprehensive silence)

Me: And old?
Vijay (almost immediately) Yes

(Brooding silence).

And for once, there was no mention of 'How fast our little girl is growing up'. It's all about us this time.

Sigh.

Many events. Sort of a Bulletin.

Much as I hate this sort of post, it really can't be helped. And if there's one thing that's making my life easier these days, it's taking things less seriously. And that therefore goes for this blog. Therefore, random thoughts and events, in no particular order of importance:

* Vani's had a baby boy, over a month back and is now in Delhi. Yayyy!
* My other best friend, Manav, has also had a baby boy. 'tis really the season.
* I've realized that I haven't made any new friends in over two years now. I think the age is now past. But if you want to be my friend, mail me at yonearthnot at gmail dot com and I promise you, I will consider it.
* Peanut's two cousins, Mahima (age 8) and Akriti (Age 3) have moved back to India from England. It's really great to see her in their company. Makes me want to have another kid just so she doesn't have to play alone. But a readymade one, and preferably older, would be better.
* I have been gymming and am now even lower than the pre-pregnancy weight. It's a good feeling and I'm not going to swell up again anytime soon, I can promise you that.
* The office gym is a cool concept. Also ensures I finish work by 6.30 or 7 p.m. on the days that I decide to work out. My office facilities in general are pretty cool.
* Work has recently stopped being as much fun as it used to be. And it's more to do with people than the work itself. And much like Forrest Gump, that's all I have to say about that.
* Peanut is very, very, very clingy. Seriously. As I type, she has found her way into my lap and is insisting I use the computer to show her videos instead of writing on my blog. I tell you, I'm just not used to having someone around who's more selfish than me.
* Peanut is also very, very, very cute. She's started to speak now - and Vijay is unfortunately teaching her things like Ýo; Chill, Mom; and Whateva. What a great dad.
* Vijay has discovered today that he's going to a conference in Holland in November, and is trying to convince me to go along. I'm thinking - zero degrees temperature; stuck in a hotel room for three days while he's at the conference; with Peanut to amuse throughout the day. I'm thinking - not. But go, hubby - make the most of it!
* I'm reading many, many books at the same time and of course, it's taking ages to finish a single one. However, I've just started reading "I'm ok, you're ok'' and I'm totally fascinated by it. The whole concept of Parent, Adult, Child; the Games People Play; and so on. That's one book I plan to finish this weekend.
* I am really trying to increase my patience levels and control my temper. I really think I'm getting a lot better at it now. Ha ha ha ha ha. Look, the books all say to use humour. The best advice continues to be ''Count to ten''. Never heard anything more cliched and inane in my entire life. Must try it.
* My grandfather's birthday is coming up again - he's going to turn 94. He was over today at my Mum's, with the rest of the family, and it's really amazing to see him. Still in great shape, peaceful and happy. You give him a shirt and he thanks you, but adds that he has so many shirts. Have never met anyone with such few wants and needs. Awesome to think that some of those genes may have been passed on to me. Just wondering when they are going to show up. Maybe when I'm in my nineties.
* I haven't mentioned how sad I've been about Michael Jackson's passing. I still remember he was the first TV personality I really noticed and how much dissonance I felt when my father referred to him as a 'He'. Yes, you'd think that the fact that he was singing 'Man in the Mirror' at the Grammy Awards would have clued me in, but let's face it - I was 9 years old and obviously not a very bright one.
* My two good friends back in Bombay, who were management trainees along with me at my first company, are getting married. And no, it's not to each other - they are both men, or close enough anyway. So Fatso and Tools - congratulations to you. Seriously. It's great news.
* My other friend Amit, who has got married only a few months back, is actually pregnant already - that is, his wife is and they were both a bit embarassed by the fact that they got pregnant just a month after the wedding. I personally think there's something shady about the whole thing, and now it's all making sense - the last minute invitations, the sudden date-setting. Ha, ha. I'm only kidddding, guys. Congratulations! You guys are so not ready. I'll be right with you - cheering you on, giving you good advice and moral support and laughing all the way.
* I had this person who I considered my childhood enemy and we really hated each other in school, but for some strange reason, I got in touch with her over Facebook recently, and found that she actually seems like a pretty nice person and I actually warmed to her. I guess that's all part of the growing up process. My Adult is now less contaminated with my Child, as Thomas A harris, M.D would say. Really, you should read this book.

And now I'm tired. And yet satisfied. I've probably bored you to death with news of people who you couldn't possibly know or care about. But I love all these people and things. And it feels good to write about them.

And how have you been? Feel free to bore me to death in comments. Come on, let loose. Tell me who's still around on this ghissa-peeta, neglected old blog. And tell me what's new in your life, what books you're reading, any good recipes, and so on. I still can't cook, though. Scratch the recipe bit.

A Guest Post By My Sister

And she tells it so much better...

Who's the Boss?

Children must be disciplined from an early age. This implies hardening your heart against their wide eyed, chubby-cheeked faces and being firm. Yes. Discipline is the key.

You may agree. But you haven't met Peanut have you?

Y & Vijay (parents of an active two year old Peanut) decided to take their semi-annual trip - to the movies - and left Peanut under the collectively watchful eye of Mum, myself, A and the K. If we count A, then the adult to child ratio stood at 4:1. Easy babysitting you say? Again, you haven't met Peanut have you?

Now Peanut is a no-nonsense type of child who has a firm idea of what she wants, and as for any contrary opinions issued from the bumbling adults she is forced to deal with, she dismisses as bunkum. All this is made very easy for her, given the fact that she is most adorable two year old you've ever laid eyes on. One quiver of that lower lip will have you waving the white flag in no time.

A had come over armed with Prince of Persia - the Sands of Time. I am introducing A to the joys of the PoP trilogy which has always been and always will be my only interest in the world of gaming. Anyway, we started playing while Peanut was with my Mum. Engrossed with a particularly tough fight sequence, we scarcely noticed the K bringing Peanut into the room with a coloring book and a set of sketchpens.

Under A's otherwise skillful maneuvering, the Prince kept dying at the hands of the big, bad villains so I took over the fighting. At this point, Peanut was sitting quietly on a stool and watching our game quite interestedly. It took all my powers of concentration to finish off the baddies so I ignored the apparent struggle that was taking place to my left. I vaguely heard cries of 'Peanut, no!!' from A, followed by squeals of protest and dismissive 'Aaahhhs' from Peanut.

The noise had died down by the time I was finished. When I looked up from the screen, I saw Peanut sitting innocently on the stool looking at me benignly. I smiled because there was a green sketchpen mark on her nose. My smile faded as I noted that Peanut, A and my cream colored sofa bed were all covered in a red, green and yellow marks. "No, no, no!!" I wailed. "Why did you let her do this?"

A defended himself by saying that Peanut cried when he tried to take the sketchpens from her. I can really see what kind of parent he'll make. The kind of parent who smiles indulgently at the little tykes breaking vases and coloring the walls.

While I had hysterics, Peanut suddenly noticed the colored sofa and gasped as if shocked by this act of vandalism. "Peanut!" I said accusingly. "Yeh kisne kiya?" In response she pointed to A and said "Unkallll!!!" This would have actually been quite convincing had there not been witnesses.

Luckily, we managed to get the stains out with rigorous scrubbing. Peanut was highly amused by it all and tried to send jet like sprays of water in our faces by blocking the nozzle of the tap as we tried to wash her hands.

Yes, Peanut is a naughty one. Unknowingly, my cousin Aparna tried to use her as a model of good behavior for her own two little girls the next evening at dinner. This never augurs well.

"Look, Akriti," she said to her 3 year old. "See how baby Peanut drinks from a glass without spilling anything." At this point, of course, Peanut spilled apple juice over herself and the chair. "Look Akriti," said Aparna, undaunted. "See how baby Peanut is eating ice cream with a spoon and holding it just like a grown up." At this juncture, Peanut decided that a more expedient way to eat ice cream was to lick it off the plate and plied her little pink tongue to the amusement of her older cousins.

On the way home, I sat calmly in the front seat while Y struggled with her squirming baby in the back. She said I must be thinking "I'm never having kids."

You may agree, but then you've never met Peanut have you?