Thursday, September 10, 2009

A Guest Post By My Sister

And she tells it so much better...

Who's the Boss?

Children must be disciplined from an early age. This implies hardening your heart against their wide eyed, chubby-cheeked faces and being firm. Yes. Discipline is the key.

You may agree. But you haven't met Peanut have you?

Y & Vijay (parents of an active two year old Peanut) decided to take their semi-annual trip - to the movies - and left Peanut under the collectively watchful eye of Mum, myself, A and the K. If we count A, then the adult to child ratio stood at 4:1. Easy babysitting you say? Again, you haven't met Peanut have you?

Now Peanut is a no-nonsense type of child who has a firm idea of what she wants, and as for any contrary opinions issued from the bumbling adults she is forced to deal with, she dismisses as bunkum. All this is made very easy for her, given the fact that she is most adorable two year old you've ever laid eyes on. One quiver of that lower lip will have you waving the white flag in no time.

A had come over armed with Prince of Persia - the Sands of Time. I am introducing A to the joys of the PoP trilogy which has always been and always will be my only interest in the world of gaming. Anyway, we started playing while Peanut was with my Mum. Engrossed with a particularly tough fight sequence, we scarcely noticed the K bringing Peanut into the room with a coloring book and a set of sketchpens.

Under A's otherwise skillful maneuvering, the Prince kept dying at the hands of the big, bad villains so I took over the fighting. At this point, Peanut was sitting quietly on a stool and watching our game quite interestedly. It took all my powers of concentration to finish off the baddies so I ignored the apparent struggle that was taking place to my left. I vaguely heard cries of 'Peanut, no!!' from A, followed by squeals of protest and dismissive 'Aaahhhs' from Peanut.

The noise had died down by the time I was finished. When I looked up from the screen, I saw Peanut sitting innocently on the stool looking at me benignly. I smiled because there was a green sketchpen mark on her nose. My smile faded as I noted that Peanut, A and my cream colored sofa bed were all covered in a red, green and yellow marks. "No, no, no!!" I wailed. "Why did you let her do this?"

A defended himself by saying that Peanut cried when he tried to take the sketchpens from her. I can really see what kind of parent he'll make. The kind of parent who smiles indulgently at the little tykes breaking vases and coloring the walls.

While I had hysterics, Peanut suddenly noticed the colored sofa and gasped as if shocked by this act of vandalism. "Peanut!" I said accusingly. "Yeh kisne kiya?" In response she pointed to A and said "Unkallll!!!" This would have actually been quite convincing had there not been witnesses.

Luckily, we managed to get the stains out with rigorous scrubbing. Peanut was highly amused by it all and tried to send jet like sprays of water in our faces by blocking the nozzle of the tap as we tried to wash her hands.

Yes, Peanut is a naughty one. Unknowingly, my cousin Aparna tried to use her as a model of good behavior for her own two little girls the next evening at dinner. This never augurs well.

"Look, Akriti," she said to her 3 year old. "See how baby Peanut drinks from a glass without spilling anything." At this point, of course, Peanut spilled apple juice over herself and the chair. "Look Akriti," said Aparna, undaunted. "See how baby Peanut is eating ice cream with a spoon and holding it just like a grown up." At this juncture, Peanut decided that a more expedient way to eat ice cream was to lick it off the plate and plied her little pink tongue to the amusement of her older cousins.

On the way home, I sat calmly in the front seat while Y struggled with her squirming baby in the back. She said I must be thinking "I'm never having kids."

You may agree, but then you've never met Peanut have you?

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

Peanut the Little Disaster

* Three weeks ago, Peanut decorates the walls of our (rented) home - with artistic scribblings using a ballpoint pen. Vijay thinks it is very cute. I think otherwise. The K , who was apparently supervising with a beatific smile while we were at work, says 'Kya karoon...baby rone lagta...bahut mushkil'.

* Two weeks ago, Peanut draws with a blue crayon on our music system, and just for added fun, also scribbles on the floor in rangoli style. After a lot of scrubbing it comes off. The K says 'Kya karoon...bahut mushkil'.

* Last week, I find on our drawing room wall, a clear attempt at her artistic endeavours, this time with a black crayon. The K pretends not to have seen it. ' Hoodibaba! Yeh to maine dekha hi nahin'

* At my mom's place last week, Peanut is being babysat by my sister and her friend, apart from the ubiquitous and ever-reliable K. At one point, the ever-reliable K hands her a bunch of sketchpens and deposits her in the room where my sister and friend are busy playing Prince of Persia. Peanut uses a bright green sketchpen to draw on my mother's precious sofa ( which happens to be a delicate shade of pale cream, joy of all joys!). My sister and friend look up at one point to see Peanut innocently looking at them with a green mark on her little nose. To their horror, they uncover the damage. The rest of the evening is spent with a couple of rags, soapy water and lots of fervent cursing and 'Mom's going to kill us'.

The Joy, the inimitable Joy of a Toddler.

( Incidentally, I was enjoying some piping hot Chicken soup last night when Peanut decided it was time for me to breastfeed her. She came charging at me, banged her head into the soup bowl, and the piping hot soup fell all over my front - and it was searingly, blindingly hot for a couple of seconds after which I pretty much lost all sensation. Vijay spent the next few minutes insisting looking for Burnol, finally settling for rubbing Lactocalamine on me. I still have the unnatural tan under my shirt. It's great, really)

I love it.

Saturday, August 15, 2009

My poor neglected little blog

( I don't have the faintest clue why this entire post seems to be a hyperlink. I'm weird. And technologically challenged. Please bear with me)

Dear Blog,

I am so sorry that I haven't been around to update you. I know you must be feeling a lot less loved than some of the other blogs out there, but let me tell you - you're always in my heart. I often think of a brilliant story but something or the other comes up to distract me and I'm not able to put it down, and then I lose it. I know it sounds like yet another excuse, but that's really how it is.

You'll be happy to know that Peanut seems to be settling into playschool. I don't think there could be a cuter sight than a chubby-cheeked-but-otherwise-tall-and-bony two year old impatiently waiting by the door with a pink schoolbag on her scrawny shoulders. If I did pictures anymore, I would show you, but alas - I don't really post as many pictures as I used to a year ago.

Oooh -but wait. I know how I can make it up to you. I'm going to upload some random pictures now, including of our trip from the U.S - and I promise I'll tell you all about it in the next post. Or maybe the one after that. But I will, I will. It was a good trip and there's a lot to tell.

For now - look at these few photos. And know that I love you even though I don't say it often enough anymore.

Goodbye,

Love




This was the view from the hotel we stayed in, in Paradise city. Beautiful, eh? I think it's Lake Superior, but I could be wrong. Did I mention earlier it's more like an ocean than any lake I've ever seen?
Peanut leaning over to look at the 'Paani' - already enjoys giving me heart attacks. I deal with it by taking a picture before screeching at her to back away.
Peanut all bundled up, enjoying a walk around Mackinac city, Michigan. Beautiful place really. Her cap says 'I love Daddy'. No prizes for guessing who bought her that one.
I kind of like this picture. The whole family - Ananya, Peanut, Vijay, Adi-on-top-of-Ajay and Garima. If you look carefully, you'll see me too - I'm the shadowy picture-taker. Not bad, eh?


Finally, Peanut on her first day at Playschool. Oh she looks okay in the picture but she bawled something awful when I left. My baby's going to school already ( theatrical sob!) !

Tuesday, August 4, 2009

Am Annoyed

...and I can't quite say by what, or rather whom. But I had to say that I'm annoyed.

And YOU. I know you're reading this. And I know that you know it's you I'm talking to. And I just wanted to tell you that you suck.

Whew.

However, the point is - the simpler I keep my life, the happier I am. And I've decided that mediocrity is not a bad thing to aim for. For the first time in my life.

On a related note, please do check out the site that I was recently introduced to. It's quite funny.

Mylifeisaverage.com

Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Peanut Turns Two

Yes, she did, just a couple of days back. I can't quite believe that it's been two years since I had her. It's quite amazing, I think. Wow.

I realize that this isn't the most articulate post ever, but I think I'm still a bit zapped by how time flies.

Oh, also, we had a birthday party for her this Saturday. To my horror, I realized that it was time for kiddy birthday parties, with return gifts, party games, prizes, party hats, those annoying little noisemakers, etc. It all went off rather well, thanks largely to the organizing skills of my mother, sister and sister's friend A.

A, who is rather fond of Peanut (and vice versa), had got her this 2 kg Fairy Princess Birthday cake which was not just pretty but also delicious. When the other kids tried to swipe a bit of it before Peanut had a chance to cut it, A almost killed them. And when, later, they all had bits and pieces from the bottom part of the cake and it caved in on itself, it was A who was most upset - indeed, he went rushing for it frantically and tried to hold it back up with his own two hands, but unfortunately, it was a lost cause.

My sister and A were to bring the decorations, but they got rather late in the process. To make up for lost time, they ended up blowing up most of the balloons in the car on the way. I'm sure that was a fun ride for them. And the driver.

Also, Peanut was attacked just as her party was beginning. I had invited a neighbour, whose two daughters are very fond of her - they are around 7 and 4 years old.The 4 year old decided to express her love and affection by hugging Peanut so hard that she knocked her right off her feet and they both landed up in a heap on the floor - I saw the horror on Peanut's face as she realized that she was suddenly horizontal and had a larger child on top of her- my poor child started crying and was quite inconsolable and in a bad mood for the rest of the party.

The other kids all had fun, though, apparently - they certainly ran about making enough noise for it. The parents also beamed beatifically at each other. The only people who looked out of place were the four non-parent friends of mine who had landed up - but then I'm sure they were fine - because they had each other, as well as the fact that they are not yet parents, to be thankful for.

We had booked a hall in the club at the place we stay and it was all rather convenient. Oh, who am I kidding? Birthday parties are only fun when you're a kid - not the Mom. Even when you have the support of a husband, a mother, a sister and an A.

A highly depressing realization. But I'm still glad we did it because birthdays are meant to be celebrated, dammit. Also, largely I'm glad for the pictures - so that many years later when the memory fades, we can fool ourselves into nostalgically reminiscing about the good old days - I can see it now. Doddering Vijay and Y twenty years later, staring at photos out of aging eyes, and telling each other -

'Remember when Peanut turned two? That was a fun party'.

Sigh.

P.S - incidentally, her actual birthday was later and we celebrated it just at home with the family and it was very, very nice. Plus, as a consequence of this, we had multiple cakes, which is always good.

Saturday, July 18, 2009

Peanut & PlaySchool

Summary of Day 1, as per conversation with Peanut.

Y: Peanut, did you go to school today?
Peanut: Haan
Y: Were there babies there?
Peanut: Haan
Y: Did you play with them?
Peanut: Haan
Y: Was there Aunty?
Peanut: Haan
Y: Did she give you a chocolate?
Peanut: Haan
Y: Was she nice?
Peanut: Haan
Y: Did you have fun in school?
Peanut: Haan
Y: Do you like it?
Peanut: Haan
Y: Shall we go back there again?
Peanut: Naii. ( Vehement head shake)

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

You Always Hurt the Ones You Love

Especially if you're an idiotic bungler like me.

Here go a series of apologies of forgotten birthdays and other special occasions over the last month. Maybe I should make THIS a regular feature. That way, I may still have some friends left. Family members, of course, are stuck with me.

* My brother Abhi - belated Happy Birthday. Heh, heh.
* My brother Abhi and my sis-in-law, Vandu - belated Happy Anniversary. Heh, heh. How many years now? Time flies, doesn't it? How is beautiful little Nikki?
* My friend Manav - Hi there, Manav. Belated Happy Birthday. You know you're my best friend, right?
* My friend Amit K - Hey there. 'Sup? Belated Happy Birthday. You know you're my best friend, right?
* My sister, G - Belated Happy Birthday. You're an amazing person. Sorry I didn't call. But I love you. Really.

I have this whole set of excuses for all of the above, but none of them are worth it.

Apologies all around.

It's truly a wonder any of you still love me :-(